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xxZeromancerlovexx
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24 Aug 2012, 11:41 am

My mom allowed me to slip up and order a frappe and a burger last night. I really want to be a lady. Ladies don't scarf down burgers and drink frappes. I want to eat salad, yogurt, tea and sparkling water.

I got all dressed up today to go to JCpenney. I'm wearing a white tank top under a white cherry print blouse, bootcut jeans, boat shoes(The brand is called Sperry). I put a lot of effort into my jewelry and makeup.

I'm obsessed with maintaining a feminine figure(I was SO unhealthy at 220-235 pounds) and I just want to ask my mom, would she rather have the vain, prissy girl I've become or some improper girl who wears band tees and sneakers?


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questor
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24 Aug 2012, 1:49 pm

Don't go starving yourself into one of those many hideous looking skeletons that are walking around out there. Eat healthy, but enough of it. And don't forget to get protein, fruit, and whole grains, or taters with skins, or sweet taters with skin, with meals. You can skip the whole grains in some meals by substituting beans or nuts for them, and also cut down on other proteins in the same meals, as nuts and beans have features of both proteins and grains in their make-up. Also, don't forget to eat stuff with calcium to maintain your bones, and to avoid osteoporosis.

I suggest you skip the sparkling water and just drink plain filtered water, or real juice. Carbonation leaches calcium from your bones and teeth, so sparkling water and sodas are bad for you, and sodas have sugar or toxic alternatives in them, and some of the colorants are toxic, too.

I think part of your problem is that the "healthy" meal you described really isn't that healthy, as it doesn't provide enough nutrients, or enough bulk, so it leaves you feeling hungry. Try adding a hard boiled egg, or some low fat hard cheese to the meal, and eat some meals with lean meats, like lean beef, poultry, and fish. Also add some bulky fruits like apples, pears, other tree fruits, or part of a bunch of grapes. These will also help fill you up.



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24 Aug 2012, 1:55 pm

Ladies do eat burgers. I've been to many a Junior League BBQ where the ladies eat burgers, also ribs. Junior Leagers are pretty much the ultimate ladies.


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24 Aug 2012, 1:56 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I really want to be a lady. Ladies don't scarf down burgers and drink frappes. I want to eat salad, yogurt, tea and sparkling water.


It's a misnomer, it's a patricarchal lie 'fed' to women to keep them stuck in the Victorian ages and dependant. It's part of a bigger picture and believing it is the consenting to the belief that as a women you don't deserve equality. You have the same value as anyone else, you don't need to consent to a harmful gender stereotype.

By all means, aim for health but don't aspire to 'ladieness', it's not necessary.



hanyo
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24 Aug 2012, 2:20 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I'm obsessed with maintaining a feminine figure(I was SO unhealthy at 220-235 pounds) and I just want to ask my mom, would she rather have the vain, prissy girl I've become or some improper girl who wears band tees and sneakers?


Believe it or not some people would rather have or be the latter.

Don't feel so bad about slipping up now and then. No one is perfect and it's good to treat yourself once in a while rather than constantly feeling deprived.



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24 Aug 2012, 2:50 pm

Ladies - strike that - Women eat whatever they choose to eat. Why are you blaming your mother for your choice in what to eat?

If you leave the mayo off the burger (scrape as much as you can off if it's already there), that will shave quite a few calories, and I've found that if it has fresh lettuce and tomato I never miss the mayo. You could remove the top bun and eat it open face and that would shave even more. I don't know what a frappe is, is that a beverage? You can always just drink water.

No one really wants to be fat, but it has nothing to do with being a lady, it has more to do with your body, your stress levels, and your choices. We don't choose our metabolisms or even our upbringing, but most parents do the best they know how, and if that happens to be not quite the right choice for a given child, all the child can really do is grow up and make their own choices.

I suggest you do your best to take charge of your choices, and don't lay blame where it doesn't belong. There's no use in blaming even yourself, anyway. When I do that it just sets my cravings on edge, makes me feel that I have to suffer to look good. I don't! I can choose to eat something light, tasty and healthy, and if someone else doesn't like it, that's their problem. But frankly I could not exist on yogurt, salad and tea. Sparkling water isn't very good for you anyway, the carbon dioxide in it acidifies the water.



xxZeromancerlovexx
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24 Aug 2012, 10:38 pm

hanyo wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I'm obsessed with maintaining a feminine figure(I was SO unhealthy at 220-235 pounds) and I just want to ask my mom, would she rather have the vain, prissy girl I've become or some improper girl who wears band tees and sneakers?


Believe it or not some people would rather have or be the latter.

Don't feel so bad about slipping up now and then. No one is perfect and it's good to treat yourself once in a while rather than constantly feeling deprived.


The bottom line is, maintaining weight is a balancing act. Eating a balanced diet and exercising. You should not have to cut anything out of your diet.


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25 Aug 2012, 12:04 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
My mom allowed me to slip up and order a frappe and a burger last night. I really want to be a lady. Ladies don't scarf down burgers and drink frappes. I want to eat salad, yogurt, tea and sparkling water.

I got all dressed up today to go to JCpenney. I'm wearing a white tank top under a white cherry print blouse, bootcut jeans, boat shoes(The brand is called Sperry). I put a lot of effort into my jewelry and makeup.

I'm obsessed with maintaining a feminine figure(I was SO unhealthy at 220-235 pounds) and I just want to ask my mom, would she rather have the vain, prissy girl I've become or some improper girl who wears band tees and sneakers?



You're 19 and you still let your mom control what you eat???



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25 Aug 2012, 1:24 pm

To the poster above: a lot of people with AS live with their parents long into adulthood and are pretty much dependent on them for food, clothes, etc. Not all autistics manage to be self-sufficient. The OP doesn't say if she is or not. If her parents are the ones buying the food, she may not have much of a say about what she eats.

OP, I do not understand what you are trying to say when you say you want to be "a lady."

Do you mean you feel as though eating certain foods or being a certain weight will make you feel more "female?" If so, that is wrong. Your gender is determined by your DNA. It is not determined by your weight or diet.

Or perhaps you mean you want to be a lady in the sense of being more refined. If so, I don't really think diet has very much to do with that.

When it comes to being a lady in that sense, it's not not about what you eat, but how you eat it. A lady (in the sense of a gentlewoman) is defined by good manners. It used to be about breeding as well as manners, but I don't suppose anybody cares about breeding much nowadays. Therefore, you can eat a hamburger and still be a lady, as long as you are not burping, belching, talking with your mouth full, spraying crumbs everywhere, etc.



xxZeromancerlovexx
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25 Aug 2012, 3:53 pm

Plodder wrote:
To the poster above: a lot of people with AS live with their parents long into adulthood and are pretty much dependent on them for food, clothes, etc. Not all autistics manage to be self-sufficient. The OP doesn't say if she is or not. If her parents are the ones buying the food, she may not have much of a say about what she eats.

OP, I do not understand what you are trying to say when you say you want to be "a lady."

Do you mean you feel as though eating certain foods or being a certain weight will make you feel more "female?" If so, that is wrong. Your gender is determined by your DNA. It is not determined by your weight or diet.

Or perhaps you mean you want to be a lady in the sense of being more refined. If so, I don't really think diet has very much to do with that.

When it comes to being a lady in that sense, it's not not about what you eat, but how you eat it. A lady (in the sense of a gentlewoman) is defined by good manners. It used to be about breeding as well as manners, but I don't suppose anybody cares about breeding much nowadays. Therefore, you can eat a hamburger and still be a lady, as long as you are not burping, belching, talking with your mouth full, spraying crumbs everywhere, etc.


I have a say in what I eat. I can eat whatever I please. The reason I ask my parents to control what I eat is because I'm paranoid about weight gain. I'm honestly thinking I am on the verge of an eating disorder(most likely Body Dismorphic Disorder).

And yes. I want to be the exact image of what I consider perfect for a female.


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25 Aug 2012, 5:11 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Plodder wrote:
To the poster above: a lot of people with AS live with their parents long into adulthood and are pretty much dependent on them for food, clothes, etc. Not all autistics manage to be self-sufficient. The OP doesn't say if she is or not. If her parents are the ones buying the food, she may not have much of a say about what she eats.

OP, I do not understand what you are trying to say when you say you want to be "a lady."

Do you mean you feel as though eating certain foods or being a certain weight will make you feel more "female?" If so, that is wrong. Your gender is determined by your DNA. It is not determined by your weight or diet.

Or perhaps you mean you want to be a lady in the sense of being more refined. If so, I don't really think diet has very much to do with that.

When it comes to being a lady in that sense, it's not not about what you eat, but how you eat it. A lady (in the sense of a gentlewoman) is defined by good manners. It used to be about breeding as well as manners, but I don't suppose anybody cares about breeding much nowadays. Therefore, you can eat a hamburger and still be a lady, as long as you are not burping, belching, talking with your mouth full, spraying crumbs everywhere, etc.


I have a say in what I eat. I can eat whatever I please. The reason I ask my parents to control what I eat is because I'm paranoid about weight gain. I'm honestly thinking I am on the verge of an eating disorder(most likely Body Dismorphic Disorder).

And yes. I want to be the exact image of what I consider perfect for a female.




I understand. But it sounds to me like you have an obsession that could potentially causes some serious health problems if it continues unabated. Body dysmorphic disorder is a psychological disorder that you(and your folks) need to take seriously and get psychiatric treatment for. As you can see, your obsession with having an exact image which may not even be possible is causing you to feel frustrated and unhappy. The problem isn't with your body, it's with your brain.



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25 Aug 2012, 9:03 pm

I've weighed 200lbs and I've weighed 100lbs (I'm 4'10" so 200lbs is morbidly obese). and I've learned one VERY important lesson... it's ok to eat a burger and to have a frappe every once in awhile. If you don't indulge then you wind up snapping and eating ALL of the burgers and ALL of the frappes. So sacrifice one burger and one frappe once a week (or every two weeks) so that the rest of the burgers and frappes can continue to survive and thrive without fear of a burger/frappe apocalypse...



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25 Aug 2012, 10:16 pm

^ That's such a nice post, and wise.



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26 Aug 2012, 1:31 am

if you workout 3 times a week, lift weight, you wont ever have to worry about eating what you want.

so, just do that! ;)


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01 Sep 2012, 9:27 pm

I eat burgers, pizza, hot wings and today, a little chocolate shake. I even spill food on myself and have been called nothing but a lady. It's all about how you carry yourself and your mannerism. If you want to be a lady, be a lady whether in jeans or dresses.