What have people commented about you repeatedly?

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limping2victory
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01 Oct 2012, 11:46 am

- think too much
- I'm just shy
- I need to look up and not look down when I'm walking
- smile more
- make more of an effort (with looks, while trying to find a job, etc.)
- Whenever I try to explain to my mom about how I feel (being stressed out about working, too much anxiety, so stressed I don't want to leave the house) she says that everybody has that problem
- too serious



the_beautiful_mess
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01 Oct 2012, 12:14 pm

Things people have said recently:

- You're ridiculously accident prone.
- Think before you speak.
- You're cute. (Meant in a 'little kid' cute kind of way rather than attractive way. That's often how I'm viewed by my peers, even though I'm smarter than most of them.)
- It's OK to be struggling.
- You need to lower your standards. (In reference to me not thinking my school work is right unless it's 100% perfect by my standards, which are almost impossibly high.)

:elephant:


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justkillingtime
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01 Oct 2012, 12:16 pm

you never say anything
say something
help me out here. you see i'm struggling
you don't try
she needs to make more of an effort (on most report cards)
(like OP) need to look up and not look down when walking
"look up" said to me by patient at psychiatric hospital where i work
when i tried to explain things about me to my mother she frequently said "oh, it's just a phase"
you don't like watermelon/corn??? that's unamerican!
thanks. that made me feel better (said sarcastically when i responded to their problem with doom and gloom)


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anne1990
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01 Oct 2012, 12:24 pm

I always keep smiling, even though I feel sad
I think too much and too deep
And coincidentally people often tell me I need to look up and not look down when walking too!



NewDawn
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01 Oct 2012, 12:57 pm

The remark I hear most often is that I speak too softly and somewhat unarticulated.

I've also often heard that I'm aloof, don't notice acquaintances when I pass them in the street or the supermarket, that I always use such 'difficult' words, that I think too much, take things too seriously and that I'm brazen.



Sanctus
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02 Oct 2012, 7:17 pm

Apparently...
-I'm really clumsy
-I'm unfriendly and cold
-I have really big eyes



CWA
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02 Oct 2012, 8:45 pm

-odd
-gullible
-over think
-no indoor voice
-i blather
-i go off on tangents
-no tact



emimeni
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03 Oct 2012, 12:30 am

-I am really intelligent.
-I have a pretty smile
-I have pretty eyes.
-Nice hat!
-I need to try harder.
-I'm really quiet.


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Sarah81
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03 Oct 2012, 6:43 am

"You're so tall!" (Well, duh :) )
"Your eyes are really intense/expressive"
"You're a bit over-emotional" (Again, duh, I'm bawling my eyes out over nothing)
When at school:
"You must be really smart - can you do my assignment for me?"



Filipendula
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03 Oct 2012, 4:10 pm

What reality is this where you all receive regular pronouncements on your character or appearance in this manner?

I tried to think what my answer to this question would be and all I got was:

- You're really intelligent (which is the only one to occur with memorable frequency, e.g. more than once/twice per year)

On the one hand I've probably scared most people off complimenting me on anything because I react so badly. On the other, in my world I believe it's considered impolite to make negative personal comments and so I assume no-one ever thinks to share their opinions of me with me.

I'm really surprised that you all have so many such experiences. Is this due to macro-cultural differences (e.g. country) or micro-cultural differences (e.g. the kind of people you associate with) or your own personality inviting such comments or having more friends/associates than I do or...?

I've been wondering this for a long time. Why are people here so aware of what NTs think of them when NTs themselves would say honesty to the point of personal criticism was antisocial :?:


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Sarah81
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03 Oct 2012, 6:53 pm

Filipendula wrote:

I've been wondering this for a long time. Why are people here so aware of what NTs think of them when NTs themselves would say honesty to the point of personal criticism was antisocial :?:


I guess this question is rhetorical but I'll answer it anyway. Aspies do not have a monopoly on being antisocial. NTs are actually much more antisocial, but the difference is they do it on purpose, and with enough skill to make it really sting, without putting themselves in a vulnerable position. Negative personal criticism is one kind of bullying.



Filipendula
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03 Oct 2012, 8:29 pm

Sarah81 wrote:
Filipendula wrote:

I've been wondering this for a long time. Why are people here so aware of what NTs think of them when NTs themselves would say honesty to the point of personal criticism was antisocial :?:


I guess this question is rhetorical but I'll answer it anyway. Aspies do not have a monopoly on being antisocial. NTs are actually much more antisocial, but the difference is they do it on purpose, and with enough skill to make it really sting, without putting themselves in a vulnerable position. Negative personal criticism is one kind of bullying.


No it wasn't rhetorical, I genuinely want to know and understand so thanks for responding with your thoughts.

Do you think it's all down to bullying then? Because admittedly I've largely managed to avoid that sort of thing (apparently I was always good at giving people such dirty looks that they rarely tried twice), but then it just raises a whole load of new questions for me. For example, I work somewhere where I would confidently say that there simply isn't any bullying (botanists not being known for their pack animal instincts). So my view of the adult world is that you don't encounter bullies unless you hang out in the wrong places or with the wrong people. It just surprises me that so many people on WP exist in environments or with people who will so happily pick another person apart like that.

As a final note, I do agree that NT's are, at a pure level, "less nice" because of the ingrained dishonesty and manipulation that prevails in society so I'm really not questioning that. I'm just wondering why I haven't got a clue what other people think of me, when everyone else on WP seems to have a whole load of self knowledge derived from personal criticism (constructive or otherwise). It both shocks/surprises me and also makes me a little paranoid that I somehow just don't notice when I'm being criticised.


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RDOS Aspie score: 115/200; NT score: 79/200


justkillingtime
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03 Oct 2012, 10:07 pm

For me, some of the comments came from my parents and teachers.


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limping2victory
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04 Oct 2012, 7:57 am

Filipendula wrote:
I've been wondering this for a long time. Why are people here so aware of what NTs think of them when NTs themselves would say honesty to the point of personal criticism was antisocial :?:


The comments I got were mostly from my mom, who I suspect also has Aspergers. Her way of trying to be helpful. But I've also gotten the comments from my grandma, teachers who were also commenting in an effort to be helpful (or comforting, in the instance of being told I'm just shy. In other words, I'm just shy. There's nothing wrong with me.)



metaldanielle
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04 Oct 2012, 8:23 am

"I can't hear you with your face turned away from me"
"stop mumbling, I can't hear you"
"shhhh your talking too loud"
"The whole place can hear you"

I can't win.:roll:



MakaylaTheAspie
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04 Oct 2012, 1:46 pm

"Bubbly" is my biggest one. :roll: Kind of an ironic term for an introvert, isn't it?


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