Suffering

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I strongly believe that all women should have long hair. I have long hair and I just pulled a f**k load of mats out of it. My mom said something about trimming it and I told her I am willing to suffer to have long hair.

Same thing for dieting. I'm willing to eat lower than 2000 calories a day to wear my clothes.

I am also willing to get blisters to wear nice shoes.

What do you think? Do you suffer for what you want in your appearance and overall self esteem and body image?

I like long hair on myself, but some girls don't look good with long hair. People should have whatever length hairstyle they like and looks good on them.

To keep it from matting up, you need to brush it several times a day. If it's long enough, you should braid it for sleeping, that way it doesn't tangle. If you are getting mats in it, you aren't taking proper care of it and I could see how cutting it would be better. A tip for next time is to get in the shower, wet your hair and put in a lot of conditioner. More than you normally use. Rub it through the hair and use awide tooth comb to gently comb the tangles out. You shouldn't have to "suffer" for having long hair. If you are willing to "suffer" for it, then you should be willing to properly care for it so it doesn't get like that agan.

Depending on my mood, I may or may not be willing to be uncomfortable to look good that day. I do like wearing makeup and fixing my air and having a manicure, but some days I'd rather just wear comfortable clothes that look nice rather than dressing up more in clothes that aren't as comfortable.

I totally feel you on the shoes. I have a ton of shoes and most aren't that comfortable. However, if they cause blisters then they don't fit right. Use corn pads to prevent blisters or stretch the shoes with a stretcher. That's what I do.

Yeah, theres a lot of female fashions out there that involve some sorta pain. It sorta goes with the territory. I dont entirely understand why many NT females do it. Like wearing high heels, that can cause damage to your feet in the long run. Waxing, plucking, makeup, nice clothes, uncomfortable fashions all for a look. We aspies think its ridiculous but in the NT world, its a must.

I'm not into pain for surface goals. I wear skirts alot but it is because they are softer and more comfortable than jeans. I wear the most comfortable shoes that are practical for the activity I am doing. I used to care very much more when I was a teenager, but it has worn off in favor of being myself and caring less what others will think of me.

I hated brushing my long hair, and I thought it looked worse always pulled back into a raggedy pony tail, so I cut it off this summer and I absolutely love it. I never would have thought I would do such a thing, but sometimes it is freeing to discover that you want to do something you never imagined you would want.

I suffer to wear flat shoes because they're the only type of shoe I like and know how to wear. I have flat feet and bunions which always rub and they're getting worse, but I refuse to change my shoe style to big horrible clumpy ones suggested by the podiatrist.. I don't know how to wear those.

My hair is fairly long, I kinda screwed it up trying to trim up my bangs since my sister wasn't around to though and am kind of sick of it so I was thinking of taking a pair of scissors to it.........just up and chop it all off, then my sister can touch up the butchery I do to my hair and it can always grow back.

As for shoes screw nice shoes with hills I like comfortable skate shoes(not a skater but I find them quite nice for walking in) if I really have to wear nice shoes I will but not any with hills......I already have back pain and those kinds of shoes are bad for the back so no need to make that issue worse.

So no I am not really willing to suffer for a certain appearance......and well I don't think looking nice is really going to help my self esteem since I don't care much about that kind of stuff.

note* was going to post a picture of the shoes I have, but google is being stupid as ***** today especially when it comes to images.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 10 Oct 2012, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

what about those insert things you can put in shoes to give more support or comfort?

It's all a matter of personal preferences and compromises. The women I have known that are focused on having the "perfect" feminine appearance have done so almost out of a control/anxiety mindset. One example I know is a very smart, attractive and friendly lady. She would obsessively focus on hair/makeup/clothing all day though because she might not measure up as perfect otherwise. I never understood why she had so much insecurity while appearing well together and well liked by everyone.
I do my share of tweezing, shaving, and makeup because I feel a bit more polished (like putting my game face on). I don't do heels, and only longer skirts if any so I don't have to worry about stepping/sitting inappropriately on top of everything else.

I really don't care to police what anyone looks like.

I'm a lot better socially if I am wearing comfortable clothing. If I am bothered about my hair and makeup too much, or if I am adjusting my clothing constantly, or wincing in pain from blisters, then I can't concentrate on what the other person is saying to me. If I'm uncomfortable I don't enjoy myself and I don't look good because of the irritated expression on my face. Having said that, I do like to look good but there are ways of looking good without sacrificing yourself.

I never put myself through suffering - even on nights out when I dress up.

I wear dresses because I am comfortable in them, not because I'm supposed to. (actually I used to get picked on for that a lot). Sometimes I wear skirts or jeans. All of my clothing is comfortable, otherwise I don't bother buying it.

I wear flats, sandals, heels or boots, but it's the same deal - if they are not comfortable I don't wear them. I select shoes pretty carefully because I know I will spend a lot of time in them bbut they still need to look good.

And I have long hair - but that's because one of my stims is playing with my hair because I like the way it feels, and I like it long anyway. I take care of it but I never straighten it or anything like that.

I will never diet. I don't believe it in, because it causes much more psychological damage than it is worth.

And I wear very minimal make up - not only am I comfortable that way but I don't really need make up.

Despite all of this, I still look as good or better than most of the girls I see out. Most of my clothes I like them for both the comfortable part as well as the way they look, otherwise I don't buy them. I'm not one to put myself through suffering unnecessarily - to me it defeats the purpose. Plenty of other people will put you through suffering, so why do it to yourself? I don't believe in being cruel to myself - especially not to fit into some stupid cultural beauty ideal that has been pushed on me, that I don't like or agree with. I would rather go my own thing - you'll find most people who think they are doing that are actually doing quite the opposite - but it's difficult unless you are aware of all the constructs placed on beauty in our society.

I love my long hair, and have spent way too long growing it to even consider cutting it at this point. I also am really killer about my diet lately. It may seem unrealistic, but I do want to be the same size that I was in high school. I think it stems from going to school though. When I was in university I spent all of my time studying and not taking care of myself, and now that I don't have to go to school anymore I want to spend the time looking good.

I would also suggest those things, as I also need arch support in my shoes in order to be comfortable. If there isn't any built in, I use those inserts. I found that for me, shoulder length hair is as long as will look good on me, as I have fine hair, and lots of it, so when it gets really long, it just hangs limp. With my hair at most shoulder length and in layers, the natural waves in my hair tend to show more than it has in the past.

Screw suffering; if anyone has a problem with me in flat shoes and comfortable clothing they can write me a long, heartfelt letter about it then roll it up and stick it up their arse.

I wear whatever is appropriate and comfortable. During the week I'm in my work uniform obviously, but on the weekends it's usually jeans, long skirts or maxi dresses. I've found maxi dresses to be a nice, elegant yet comfortable thing to wear in summer. I think I even had a mini obsession with buying them at one stage . On my feet it's Docs for work and either flip flops or casual sneakers/street shoes outside of work. I wear heels or platforms on occasion. I rarely get any good occasions to wear anything other than the usual. I have to straighten my hair regularly now since I got it cut into a mid length bob, otherwise I end up looking like Mrs Lovett. It takes ages to straighten it "properly" though (doing the sectioning and all), and then it still doesn't look right. I guess my hair is the thing I suffer the most for at this moment.

You shouldn't "suffer" for long hair. Join the LHC or Untamed Tresses. Helpful tips on how to care for long hair.

www.longhaircommunity.com

www.untamedtresses.com