AlphaSister wrote:
Cracked wrote:
mv wrote:
It's different when it's about my children, and even then it isn't always automatic.
When I used to babysit, I would sometimes need to make a conscious effort to not be cold and indifferent to kids...needless to say, I no longer babysit.
AlphaSister wrote:
I used to think I was a nurturer; it took me many years and a lot of bad experiences to realize I am a "rescuer", I want to save the world and fix everyone and it just can't be done. I am working really hard on not assuming that people make mistakes and show vulnerability in the hopes of someone saving them. I made a lot of mistakes and I think the worst was thinking that if I "fixed" someone they would then become what I needed them to be and would be grateful and appreciate my efforts. I also thought that if I was worthy of love that someone would want to "rescue" me. That all blew up in my face and I now avoid people who bring out that instinct in me. I still smile at puppies and love my cats and my friends' children but I now regard adults who don't try to hide their struggles with suspicion which I know isn't right either. Someday I will get it all right.
Kudos for knowing yourself and making changes that will benefit your well-being.
Thanks! Believe me, it took a LONG time and a lot of mistakes/lessons
Hey, what matters is that you genuinely learned from your mistakes/lessons...that's more than many people can say!
emimeni wrote:
Chris says I'd be a good mother--she's a mother herself to two grown kids (my cousins-removed-once), so I guess she would know.
I think I'm nurturing some of the time, when I feel well enough to do it.
If you want kids, and you think you'd be nurturing enough to give them a good upbringing, then go for it!*
Edit: *Unless, of course, your partner/spouse does the nurturing for you. I know a family in which the father is the nurturer and the mother is the disciplinarian, and, while this may seem odd to proponents of the traditional American household, it works for them--and their children turned out just fine.
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"I reject your reality and substitute my own!"