Questions for diagnosed AS girls and women

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There appears to be a very common, if not a little depressing, theme regarding AS females feeling unable to connect with NT females. I grew up having the same problems trying to connect as well.

So my questions are,

Do you connect any better to other girls and women with AS?
Do you find you get more loyalty, understanding, and support from other girls and women with AS?

Note: If you feel you don't identify as NT but are still unsure or undiagnosed, please feel free to still post here. Your opinions and experiences are still very much welcomed and appreciated, too.

Yes and yes. I just feel I can intellectually connect with AS women better.

I've never met any other Aspie women, but I would be more inclined to talk to them over NT women.

I haven't met many AS women that I know of, but I tend to get along much better with other introverted, reserved women. There is usually a much higher level of understanding. With AS women I suppose it would go a step further. The women I am probably least likely to get loyalty, understanding or support from are those who are very concerned with (and successful at) social norms, rules, hierarchy etc.

I live in a medium sized town, so I've never knowingly met another person with Aspergers. But every single person with Aspergers on this website, males included have been far nicer and more accepting than I've found any NT people.

I've never met any aspie women (that I'm aware of) but in general I find it easier to get along with men than with women when it comes to making small talk or accomplishing a task. Women (and I guess I mean NT women) seem complicated and intimidating to me most of the time.

I would have to say a massive yes to both.

I met a lady with AS who lived next door at the previous place I lived, and we got on so well that it was ridiculous, even her husband was amazed, despite the age gap of 28 years.
It was her who suggested that I had AS (Well the exact words were: I have never met another woman who has displayed so many traits to this extent who has not been diagnosed).
She invited one of the most well known specialists in the field around to her house because they were friends and she wanted me to meet him - for an NT he knew how to deal with us with a skill I have not encountered anywhere else. He also said I display all the traits quite extremely for a girl and told me to book myself in to one of the two main clinics in the city that do the DX.
It was because of her that I read up on it and went and got myself diagnosed.

While I can relate many on this site - theres very few women on here that I can relate to.
She is probably the most useful in terms of support and being understanding and being able to relate in by real life.
At least she knows what it's like - she's been dealing with it for 50 years already.
It's something I'm very thankful for - but we often drive everybody else around us crazy when we are together.

Never met another AS female as well, but I'm sure the answer would be a resounding yes. I've never understood the group mentality and cattiness of most of the women I have known. I don't speak the unwritten female code.

Yes. When I am able to make friendships with NT women, they tend to be eccentric, very down to earth, and very no-nonsense, frank people who say exactly what they think. They're usually outdoorsy/rustic types.

I find it much easier to get along with other females with Asperger's rather than Neurotypicals. I'm inclined to believe it is because I understand them considering though the symptoms differ in certain areas, over all they are more like me. People in general, Neurotypicals, Aspies, and everyone, have a tendency to get along best with people similar to them in their mentality.

These are the two types of women that I can get along with (although I still feel awkward). In fact, there are two women I consider friends--one of each.

I havent communicated with enough to really know. I talked to a couple girls on the spectrum on fb for some time. One did annoy me and the other was ok but I couldnt really relate to her much? So I dont really know?

With females, unless there tomboyish or kinda weird/different, I get intimidated easily.

i don't know if i know any other women with AS but i don't think i would get along with them if i did. i might understand them better(or certain aspects of them) but i'd still be socially awkward me with no idea how to relate to another human being and would stuff up any attempt they made to interact with me.

Thanks for each of your responses.

I guess in the end it'll all just boil down to finding that certain gem amongst the sand, so to speak. It only seems to take one, as appears to be the case with your neighbour, Kjas. That was a serious stroke of luck that she happened to be living right next door!

In regards to the unwritten female code, and unwritten rules in general, I never (and still don't) truly get why they're unwritten if they're so important. Weeding out the unfamiliar, perhaps? Which would just lead to even more questions...

I have noticed though, in my long time lurking here before I took the plunge in creating an account, that I have been able to relate to a few females on here. It's rather quite refreshing. The lifestyles revealed may not always match that of my own, but for the most part I'll identify with the various thoughts and issues being posted. Same goes for a lot of the male posts on here, very refreshing.

Anyway, thanks again for all the replies given here to this. Back to lurking and reading around.

I think they are unwritten because for most people they are known intuitively and don't need to be spelled out. And those who know these things intuitively tend to assume that everybody else does too, or probably more to the point, they don't really think about it. The game is played and the weakest players lose...the strong players can't be bothered teaching the rules to others, I mean, nobody had to teach them so why should they teach others? It also doesn't help anyone get ahead to give a leg-up to their competition. This is often not a conscious act, but I believe it's just the way it goes. Socially-aware women are very common. It's easier for them to spend time and associate with each other than to train up the unaware.

This is plausible, and a lot less negative than what was in my head, heh. Thank you.