vaginal dilators

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My doctor didn't bring this up yet but from what I've read it is likely and it's freaking me out. He wants me to do radiation after I heal from my hysterectomy and from what I've read you have to use dilators after that. According to this site you need to use them the rest of your life.

http://applications.spectrum-health.org/Education/Home/Download?filename=x14812.pdf

I don't like penetration, find it painful, and I don't want to be sticking anything in there. I didn't even do that with masturbation. I did use tampons but now I never have to use those again.

Except for pelvic exams to make sure the cancer doesn't come back I wouldn't care if that part of me just shriveled up and closed forever. It's pretty much been "closed" since 1995 when I quit having sex.

Has anyone else had this or feel the same about it? I can't even find people in my situation that refuse to use them except for one report I couldn't read that said that compliance was low, another that mentioned a m2f not wanting to use them, and one woman that didn't want to use them because she didn't believe in masturbation and considered it that. I would have thought there would be posts from some rape/abuse victims, people with painful penetration, nuns, or asexual people in my situation not wanting to do this.

I have never used vaginal dialators before but I really wanted to except my dad opens all my mail so I dont know how to get them? I've never had cancer before but I am just tight is pretty much it. I might have some sorta vagina tightness condition. Its gotten better over the years but I've been rarely ever been able to have sexual intercourse without it majorly hurting.

when you visit the doctor, there are two experts in the room. you are the expert on you. if you don't intend to have sex, i don't see why they should force you to use a vaginal dilator.

If it was just about sex I just wouldn't use them because I wouldn't need to but it's possible for things to close up so much that they can't do a pelvic exam and I'll be having to have those to see if the cancer came back.

My doctor didn't bring it up yet but it seems like it's something that everyone getting radiation on that part of their body has to do.

I dread that even more than the 30 days of shots they made me give myself and I'm afraid of needles. At least that was just a little prick (no pun intended). Dilators will hurt more and I don't want anything in there.

Oh boy, this is quite the sensitive subject on an open forum indeed.
I guess this is one of those times where a relatively vague ID comes in handy for being honest in a way that could make my experience be helpful to fellow women on the spectrum.
When I first got married I had a severe problem that required the use of the dialators and I didn't want to use them, and I did put it off quite a while. It definitely didn't make the problem any better. I think the doctor gave them to me, so they didn't come in the mail. When I finally gave in and started using them I discovered it solved more problems than the doctors said it would, plus I didn't have to keep using them for very long because I learned some other exercises for the muscles in that area that helped too. I think they are called pelvic floor muscle exercises, or something like that? It's been a very long time since I did any of that stuff, but it helps those muscles tone up after surgery and it helps them learn to relax when they are tensed up all the time. Teaching the muscles to relax can make things like foreplay or sex less painful, which can be an issue for us socially anxious types.

Is the "I don't care about sex" attitude due to depression, or due to it hurting, or due to anxiety about it or the social contact? Dialators can solve some of the problems, and help you get to know yourself (all shame hangups aside...we're being logical here...it's not a bad idea). Knowing yourself well makes sex with the right person a lot better.
And this coming from the girl who doesn't like obgyn exams to the point she hasn't had one in years, lol. I'm so finicky about who I let handle me and how/why.

I don't want sex, it hurts and always has, and I don't want a relationship anyways. I'm not interested in doing anything to change that.

If my doctor wants me to do it it will be for shrinkage and atrophy from the radiation.

I kind of expected to find a bunch of forum topics with women saying they can't or won't use them for whatever reason but most seem to just go along with it even if they hate it.

I thought about joining and posting about it on the hysterectomy forum I read but I think I'd just get a bunch of responses telling me that it's not that bad and it's necessary and good for me.