so, who are these creepy men

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so I keep reading here about women being hit on by creepy men. Ok who are these men, anyways.
it like every aspie women who goes out for a walk gets hit on by all these creepy men.
Must be some club or something. Do they just stand around and wait for these women to show up and start harrasing them?
so, since apserger/autism has no special looks how do these creepy men always seem to pick out the asperger woman?

Well, I'm not AS, but the guys in my neighborhood would hit on any woman considered female, doesn't matter much on looks, just on the fact that the guys here are creepy in that they are perverted and yell out perversions as girls walk away.

Creepy: guys who behave inappropriately, they tend to be complete strangers (who are generally much older) who approach you and might say something about how you are really pretty and then immediately ask you go to their place to "have some fun". Or they try to immediately find out private information.

This. Not necessarily older but yes, that's the creepy behaviour.

moved from Love & Dating to Women's Discussion, as the OP had a question directed at aspie women. i have removed all of the pre-emptive attacks against aspie women as they were not relevant to the question. this is an opportunity for aspie women to explain the creepy behaviour that has happened towards them, not an opportunity for men to explain it in a snide manner.

I didn't see it as addressed to women.

And I absolutely detest censorship which is what you did here.

aspie men could not know who the aspie women are talking about, and therefore they could not speak for the aspie women. if this thread was not intended as a question for aspie women, then it was intended as... a complaint session TOWARDS aspie women for complaining about creepy men. and that would not be acceptable at all. so i took it at facevalue that he genuinely wanted answers. otherwise the thread should not exist at all.

if you want to start a thread that asks the general membership "what is a creep?" or something similar, you are free to do so. or if you have any other questions, please send a PM to me or another moderator. thank you.

Thankfully this has happened to me less and less as I got older.

Even my mother who isn't really attractive (no offense meant to her) and isn't really feminine and even gets called "sir" occasionally by store employees has had random men come up and hit on her while walking to work.

Where I live there is a square just outside the train+bus interchange and the shopping centre, so you can't easily avoid crossing it. It's surrounded by betting shops, cheap fast food places and cheap off-licences (where you buy alcohol, don't know the US term).

So unfortunately large numbers of men congregate there to get drunk, starting well before midday. And by mid-afternoon, anything female is a target. We get these men following us down the road, hissing hey baby, hey sexy at us. It's creepy to be followed like that. And sometimes they try to grope.

Shouting filth from the windows of moving vehicles seems to be a popular pastime as well. As does slowing down to cruise a woman walking on her own.

And then there was the time I got groped on the Tube. Terrifying and sadly not rare in the slightest.

I don't think they do target AS women specifically. Being Female In Public will do.

My experience with a creepy man is when some strange guy walked up to me in Paris and started smooching kisses at me and saying he loves me.

When I was meeting men from online, we all had a thing with diapers but one of them was creepy. He acted all sexual about it because he wanted me to rub his diapered crotch and wanted to do the same to me and keep on doing it. It was all creepy. I never saw that creep again. Plus online after I got married he kept talking about wanting to have sex with me and he knew I was married and he wanted my husband in bed with us. I blocked him online.

I haven't met very many creepy men except for online and all they ever want to talk about is diapers and they ask the same questions over and over and my answers were never good enough. It's like they all have AS because they don't have very good social skills and diapers is all they can talk about. But really, to them it's all about getting aroused so they ask the same questions and want you to give them the same answers so they can get aroused and get off in their diapers. To me that is using me as an object. I haven't ran into any in a long long time. Plus also when they ask to see you on webcam, they want you to perform for them like show them your boobs, keep showing them your diaper. Nothing is ever good enough for these diapered men creeps. So I now lie about having a webcam. I say I don't have one or else they will get pushy. I could test them and say yes and see if they are creepy but I don't like to put up with it so I lie.


I did meet one aspie man in real life from online and if I didn't know he had AS, I would have thought of him as a creep. Right when we first met in real life from online, he asks me if I like sex. I knew that was a curious question and he was trying to see if I be a match for him but if I didn't know about his condition, I would have assumed he wanted me for sex and that was all he could think about when we met and he didn't care about me as a person. He also asked me other sexual questions and I told him it's not something he asks women on the first time they meet or else they might think he is out looking for sex and that is all he is after.

I'm working with a creepy guy and finding it distressing. We work alone together once a week and as soon as it's just the two of us he starts saying "f**k this f**k**g. I don't know why he thinks I would find this acceptable, especially at work. Also, there's this show we both watch and the other night a character was raped. He insisted on talking about it even though I made it clear that I didn't like the episode and didn't want to talk about it. It was like he compulsively insisted on discussing it. Anyway, he's creeping me out.

Ann's post reminds me. That man who makes rape "jokes" despite being told no-one finds it funny. I used to know one, he creeped out everyone else in our circle (men & women) and people got so upset and annoyed over his behaviour that he spoilt everyone's night. After being told repeatedly that his sense of humour wasn't remotely amusing to anyone else, we decided unanimously to stop meeting with him.

We never saw him again but about a year later the local newspaper's court report had a rape trial and the defendant had this man's name. No idea if it was him or just a coincidence (his name wasn't especially common, but not uncommon either).

Creepy men do not know anything about boundaries, that's why us women label them as "creepy." They make us uncomfortable. Aspie men usually fit this general description because they can come off as intrusive and desperate. They also don't read any social cues from the woman, so they really don't think about if she's actually interested.

If you're still not sure about what exactly fits into the profile of a creeper, this is a helpful link: How to deal with creepers

Just a note to the guys out there: if a woman is friendly to you, that does NOT mean she's in love with you.

Here's another note for the guys: sometimes if you actually listen to the woman and you are respectful of her boundaries, you could actually have a chance at a romantic relationship. Aspie women need times when we can just be alone and not have some guy who is constantly messaging/texting us. We appreciate when men are respectful of our privacy, and we're more likely to feel comfortable with you.

Now imagine you are an aspie woman, and you decide to make friends at an aspie support group, or something of that sort. All of the sudden you have a bunch of men getting a bit too nice. The men are usually thinking, "she's an aspie like me! therefore she must have alot in common and we can have a romantic relationship!" The aspie woman is thinking, "I'm here to make friends, but these men don't understand the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship." That's usually how it goes, and it's why the support group near me has a women's-only section. We were freakin' tired of the men bothering us.

I'd love to know why it is that when women complain about being harrassed, followed, groped, shouted at and made to feel unsafe while going about their daily lives, in ways that most men have never had to suffer but most women will at some point, that the women made to feel like they are the ones who are the problem?

The OP said it himself that it seems like AS women are harrassed more than the general population. If that is the case, is that not something we should all be getting furious about, not denying the problem exists or blaming the victims?

jezebel.com/5903883/why-guys-really-hate-being-called-creepy

That article sums up my feelings on the matter. I don't have the fortitude to explain this at the moment.

The guys I think of as creepy are generally about two decades older than me; it started with a guy following me in the park when I was a teenager, trying to chat me up, and I didn't know yet how to tell him to f**k off and leave me alone.

Then, every once in a while at the supermarket or waiting in line for something, some guy will look me up and down and make some inappropriate comment that he probably thinks is flattering. Most often, it's drunk/drugged patients in the ED at work.

It's not about flirting, and it's not about attraction; there have been old men at the hospital that had just about every woman in the place (including me) happy to sit with them and flirt, who just take delight in women as people, and whom the women in general love right back. It's about the feeling that some men display, that they are more entitled to the use of a woman's body than the woman is entitled to decide whom to share it with. The feeling that they see you as inconveniently over-animate bodies.