Virgins with a Sex Drive?

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Is it normal for virgins to feel sexually.... charged? Or desirous or whatever its called? I am a virgin, never been kissed, but I still feel rather..... I don't even know what to call it. I just know I like men and desperately want to be touched. I will resist of course, but I am rather confused.
My mother is a very practical person, and we have never really had the "talk" and I'm not really confident to do research online. So I came here.
Also, while having all this wierd wanting, is it odd to want to study a live speciamen? I mean a man. Because I really, really want to learn first hand how they work. Is that normal or is it my Autism rearing its head?
I would appreciate some advice from knowledgable people, please.
Lordy, this is embarrassing

Hey,

Don't be so hard on yourself. Sexuality is a natural thing. The problem with those of us who have Autism or Asperger's is that it doesn't always feel natural. I'm a guy, and I get uncomfortable sometimes when a woman, particularly an attractive woman, is sitting right next to me. Yet, at the same time, I want more than anything else to experience something incredible physically.

That said, I am a pretty high-functioning Aspie myself, so we might have different problems. I don't know.

If you want to discuss this subject in more detail, I would be happy to. I don't want to sound like a creeper; it's just that sometimes for us Autistics/Aspies, it helps to discuss this subject more openly and directly, because we don't have the same feelings/go about it the same way that others do.

Have a good day!

I'm not quite sure what my problem with it is. I know I'm supposed to feel something, I just don't know what that something is, or whether what I do feel is considered normal. I was homeschooled, and there was no sex ed or anything. Just charts of reproductive organs and such. I'm old fashioned and want a ring before leaping into bed, but I also want to KNOW. The lack of understanding is driving me nuts. I'm not even quite sure what attraction is.
Maybe a male point of view would be helpful.

Goodness, I know what you mean. I can be a bit old-fashioned myself, but I'm also very liberal and progressive. So, the two can clash with each other.

I also desperately want to feel something, but like you, I don't know what. I've tried porn, which I don't really like because it seems degrading to women, and I do feel a bit disgusted with it.

In order to become more knowledgeable on the subject, I got some sex instruction books, looked at websites that were in good taste, etc.

I've only had one sexual experience, and it was with someone of the same sex. I just wanted to explore. Needless to say, it was disappointing, and I definitely found out that I am firmly straight. I hope this doesn't tell you too much information.

Wanting to feel something is completely natural, I can assure you.

If virgins lacked a sex drive, then most people would probably remain virgins for their entire lives.

Edit: You know, I see threads on the homepage of this site, post in them, and then realize I'm posting in the Women's Discussion forum. Then I feel embarrassed, because I'm male.

Lots of things are "normal." A lot of people on WP post about asexuality, but that's probably on the tip of the bell curve if you plotted "sex drive of all 19-year-olds," whereas you're probably in the fat part of the bell curve. My best advice is, masturbate when you feel like you need to, or think of the least-sexy person you can think of (for me, it's somewhere in the range of the Queen of England. Please don't tell her.)


My mom never had the talk with me, either. One day I heard a thump outside my bedroom door; when I looked, there were some pamphlets there about "growing into a woman."


You're smart to not do online research on this because you'll probably just find porn. (Which, once you see it, you can't unsee it, so it's best to just avoid it altogether, if you are like me, which I sort of thought reading your query. "She sounds like 19-year-old me.")

I found this site during one of my science classes and the models helped me learn the kidney, which I was baffling me. (The site is through Palomar College in California; it's a .edu).

There are some models on the link of the male reproductive anatomy which you likewise might find helpful.

Best wishes.

Yeah I think it is perfectly normal for virgins to feel sexually charged. I mean everyone makes sex out to be something great and naturally if your a virgin, you want a part in it as well. Some virgin friends I know are very sexually charged. Your at a young age, your hormonal so.

If it weren't for "jacking off" (apologize for my language), many virgins and even people with sexual experience (albeit fairly infrequent) would lose it. AutisticBelle, having a sex drive is nothing to feel ashamed of, even if you are religious. Don't feel bad! The internet is filled with good information. Just, PLEASE, go to reputable and factuable sites for your information. For someone who has been around the block, sans sexually experienced.

Attraction in my eyes is a combination of many things: the dictionary might say "something that attracts or is intended to attract people by appealing to their desires and tastes" (Merriam-Webster) but I see it as "something that catches your eye that is pleasing to your aesthetic and comfort senses. For instance, you might be attracted to me if you like guys who are old-fashioned but are very open-minded, liberal, kind, who are college graduates (or in or very near your age group) and someone who is open-minded. Although those are attributes of mine, I am only saying that as an example.

And for your comedic relief for the night, check out CollegeHumor. Their stuff on sex is although tacky, light-hearted too.

[quote:"UnLoser"]If virgins lacked a sex drive, then most people would probably remain virgins for their entire lives.

Edit: You know, I see threads on the homepage of this site, post in them, and then realize I'm posting in the Women's Discussion forum. Then I feel embarrassed, because I'm male.[/quote]

I noticed it as I was posting, and I still have gone ahead. I hope this helps!

Thank you all so much. Somehow I don't fell quite so awkward anymore. I suppose beccause everyone is being a bit more logical than "Oh no, it won't hurt if you truly love him", or "You'll just know", or even worse "Its instinctive".

Trust me, even NT-als have the same issues.

Physically, yes. Emotionally, no (unless he doesn't love you in return).



"You'll just know" what? How to do it or whether he's the right one, or other?

"You'll just know" what? How to do it or whether he's the right one, or other?[/quote]

Both, really. People say I will know when its the right man, and also that I will know how it all works. Perhaps thats true for most people, but I don't think it would be for me. I'd like to know what I'm getting into. An experienced partner would be good, in that case, but I don't imagine he would have the patience to sit down and give me a rundown on the birds and the bee's and how they play together.

If you don't mind another male perspective, not only was I a virgin until three months ago but I was embarrassingly ignorant and naive about females. The week before that was the first I had EVER seen a fully naked female because I'm not into hardcore porn or nudity and I have never had a serious GF either. I was worried about it for years but decided to just relax and let things happen once I knew the moment was coming. We watched some adult videos recently and I was blown away how much I got "right" without any experience whatsoever. Once I got into that situation, I just instinctively knew what to do and just did what felt right.

In case you are wondering, I am a VERY logic oriented person, so this was quite a surprise to me to say the least.

You're totally normal. I'm not just saying because I wondered some of the same things, but, also because my normal friends did, too.

My Mom was very open about stuff, so, I knew some practical stuff and emotional and physical repercussions, so I guess that was fortunate. She assumed I would become active much younger than I actually did. I started dating at 17, but, didn't become active until I was 22.

And, not to worry, nice guys aren't going to mind giving you a rundown. They're going to feel good that they know something you don't and can guide you through the experience. It's pretty instinctive, though, so REALLY, try not to worry about it.
That said, I still feel like, after being married for almost 7 years, that I'd still qualify as 'inexperienced', but, I'm really fine with that, and so is my husband.

Now picking the right guy is the hard part of the equation. I've got very little advice there.

It sounds vague to say 'don't worry too much about it', but it's really true. I wish I could tell my younger self that it wasn't as big of a deal as I was making it out to be. As far as attraction and love go, that's something that everyone, not just ASD ppl have to figure out - why do you think there are so many books and movies devoted to it? Life is a study of these things.

As far as sexual or romantic experiences go...you figure that out as you go through it. Don't worry about not having 'experience'; that barely means anything. Experience with one person does not prepare you for experience with a different person. The right person will accept you for who you are, not make you feel embarrassed or awkward about something you're unsure of. They'll help you answer questions, not confuse you. However, don't expect most guys (or people in general, for that matter) to be like this - they're not.

The best advice I can think of for the time being - get to know yourself.

I'm a Doctor, what you are feeling is normal for a person your age. don't be afraid of your feelings, but advice never hurt anyone either.