Is it easier to be an Aspie man than an Aspie female?

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While on Yahoo this morning, I saw a news headline that said that "The Big Bang Theory" recently achieved a record number of viewers, with one critic even calling it the "Friends" of our time. As many of you know, fan favorite Sheldon has been postulated to have Asperger's. This is the kind of show that I could really enjoy, but I can't help but feel that no one would watch it if the characters were gender-swapped (e.g., a bunch of geeky girls and a token hot neurotypical guy). I feel that in many ways, it's easier to be a man with Asperger's than a woman with Asperger's, especially if he is good in stereotypically Asperger's fields, like the hard sciences or engineering. In comparison, a woman who is obsessed with animals or languages is just a oddity. It seems like a successful man with Asperger's can easily find a woman who wants to "fix" him or mother him, whereas men tend to view woman with Asperger's as too weird or high-maintenance to bother with in the first place. What do you think?

I think that it is harder to be an aspie female because society is always pressuring women to look 18 years old and be at least 20 lbs. underweight and brainwash them into hating their bodies, and women with Asperger's such as myself find such things too obnoxious or not worth the effort to even attempt doing. We prefer wearing comfortable, practical clothing and avoid use of cosmetics. Being a "non-sexy" female is nearly always a failure on an American TV show. We find other women's obsessions with their superficial appearance obnoxious and bewildering. I've seen women on talk shows trying to go for a week without any makeup on because they think they look hideous without it. It would be difficult for me to WEAR makeup every day for a week! And we're the ones with the "weird" obsessions? We often get along better with men than our own gender and are more likely to share some of the same interests. Because of this we often get labeled as "tomboys". NT Women are supposed to love their friends more than life itself (although they often act more like enemies to me) and their whole world revolves around being social. I think almost everything for men is 110 times easier than it is for woman, and sometimes I really hate being one although I will never be desperate enough to surgically change that.

Perhaps you might not be aware but the controversial and offensive suggestion you make is frequently discussed in many threads. You might want to go and read them.

I don't know about everybody else, but personally I saw this and thought: "Oh, not this topic AGAIN."

I don't know who to belive.anymore.

I live in a male body and I ID as a boy.

However, I refuse to conform to a bullstool mould
that a stool-load of idiots oh I mean society
who dont even know me sit around and define
and then shove down muy throte.

Since most of the society want to just belive
that everything is on purpose and never stop to think that maybe
I can't magicly control everything oh so perfect, I am thru
trying to impres them so I will just come off with a refusing
and stubborn attitude if that is all their tiny minds can accept.

I won't conform with what "man" should be,
I won't get married, or grow up, because I refuse to put myself to be abused,
then trapped into this dimestic vilence and false acuseings trash for
reactions that I can't control, so I dropped out years ago, I won't take it,
end of story.

Since I am refused the right to work because I am diffrent,
I created my own job but it seems they don't count it because
I am not making thousands of dollars USD and I dont own some
stupid piece of paper stating that I am "official". so skruit.
Its real enuf for me and if the govt or society dont like it
they can go eat boogers.

I won't grow up or "get a job" or "get a woman" so if they don't like it, they
they can all go eat a big stinky poop.


Now for those out there who will listen, my side of the story,
the truth:

I don't know if my h aving autism or seizures has much to do
with it, but I do know that I have reactions to how peopel treat me,
if I am abused, I will have a seizure or tantrum of some kind, I don't
want to, but it happens, I Can't Control It.

The regular world expects more from me than I am able to give,
why do I owe them anything at all? Why should I have to pair
up with some female in order to meet some label? Why should
I be working in some job that I am not able of doing only to screw it
up and be called lazy for something I cannot help?

Why?

What is the point?

Maybe I don't want a girlfrend/wife, why shood I make someone
else miserable? That is all reships are anyway, fight ing and sad and
ab buncha crap that I can't take or else I have seizures.

On top of that, when I do try these things and I am miserable
because I am having reactions, I am accused of being miserable person?

So I get blamed for making a bad choice because I suposidly chose something
that Someone Else shoved down MY throte?

NO THANKS.

If people want to play the blame game, then count me out,
I am not listening.

This boy is NOT "available" and isn't looking and won't look
and won't conform. He is playing in his garden right now, and
can't be bothered by the world, don't like it? Tough poop, he
won't listen, beac use someone will only acuse him of being
a brat. He already knows this, he already knows his own faults
and he cannot do anything to fix them, so barking at him about it
will not fix it, it will only pixx him off and make him tantrum
and possibly slam the dore in one's face.

He isn't "mature" and isn't going to even try to be.

He is a brat who won't obey or listen, so he/she would be
wasting their breath telling him how to live his life and
might only get a booger flicked at them or a spoon full of
peas or mashed potatos chucked in their general direction.

Now, if the point was that maybe you just wanted to play
with him, be it with Tonkas, Hotwheels, Legos, or if heis
in a good modd, dollies, then maybe he will open the door,
--- Maybe.

OP, you're thinking in very black and white terms, and in doing so, are running the risk of seriously offending someone.

Women have to face difficulties which men don't, such as extensive pressure to look a certain way, other women being really bitchy and two-faced, and possibly suffering from male abuse of power.

Men also have to face difficulties which women don't, such as extensive pressure to seem "tough", facing a higher risk of physical abuse, pressure only to have certain interests, and pressure not to show emotion.

There are many other examples for both cases, but it really depends entirely upon what sort of people, if any, the Aspie is exposed to.

Thinking in black and white terms can be a good thing, but please try not to just state things as facts when they may not necessarily be the case.

I had some lincoln logs, but they got worn down
the brown wood stain came off and byandby they
would not hold together as well as they used to and
one of them got busted I think I fell on it or something,
then they were replaced by Legos one Christmas.

I did not own any trains but some frends of mine
did, they had a stream powered one, you had to
light a couple of charcoals and put them under
the little steamtank to make it boil but it had
little control, it would speed around the track
very fast until it either burnt the charcoal out
or boiled the tank dry, but it would haul butt.

when comes to dating and relationship, aspie women* have it alot easier. But for everything else. it probaly the same.

*but there are aspie women who do struggle to get into relationship.
( and there are alot aspie women who are like anorexia. and because they don't get label or id as asperger, they don't get alot
of mental help like the men do.

outside of relationship (which women wins hand down) it's hard to say. More or less the same.

You can't make a generalization based on gender. It changes from person to person, and that might change because of many factors.

In general it seems more difficult being female. My strange behavior and inability to learn and obey social convention led to years of bullying and harassment that eventually resulted in PTSD. It got to a point where I had to change my tomboyish ways in junior high. Searched endlessly for clothes that fit my sensory needs but were fashionable enough to get othr kids to let me be. I wore makeup every day for over 20 years to cover up perceived flaws, because I felt my own skin was not worthy of being seen without this mask covering my face. What a liberating event it was to free myself from that. = ) the bullying also resulted in an eating disorder. My social anxiety and fear of continuing to be "fat and disgusting" (like those kids said to me repeatedly everyday and for yrs) led to a good 15 years of my life dominated by food issues. What a relief to now be able to eat when I'm hungry and around other people if necessary.

In addition, I felt added pressure to be socially successful. Girls are supposed to be social geniuses after all. But I couldn't do it and was mistreated by girls who pretended to be my friend but then took great pleasure in making me look stupid. I will never understand how my akwardness and difficulties were sins, but their blatant mean spirited and hurtful behavior was totally fine.

In a sense, bullying is a gender neutral act perpetrated by boys and girls towards both boys and girls. But the added female issues create a more threatening environment for girls and women. The world generally favors NT men, so aspie women have two complications from the beginning while aspie men have one.