Anyone share a severe fear of gyno apps?

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It was bad before I ever had to have one ( I had a strong fear of them before I had an emergency exam in the ER) but since I had an emergency exam by a strange man in the ER I've had pretty much PTSD responses to the idea/thought of having to have another exam, like if I have a issue with my bits and someone suggests "looking" I have a full blown panic/fight response (I'd probably literally kick a doc in the face if they tried) I actually have nightmares and when I try to sleep I'll occasionally get severe intrusive thoughts (this was over a year ago that the exam happened, it didn't help that they actually didn't do anything useful for other docs, just looked, didn't take measurements of a supposed cyst, so if I had wanted treatment another doc would have to "check me out") I still have nightmares about it though not quite as severe as the following days it happened.. I couldn't even have sex for awhile afterword.. and occasionally still have that issue which hurts because my fiance is THE MOST trusted person in my life.


It also cuts me deeply as I want to have children within the next couple years.. and having a check up is a good idea regardless of me wanting a home birth..

So does anyone else deal with this and what do you do?
My doc is thinking that as rape/domestic abuse victims would have a severely hard time visiting docs of that nature that there must be docs that specialize in severely anxious ladies..

I just feel so awful even typing this.. it triggers me.. I already had a bit of a convo today with my pdoc so I feel a bit triggered about it tonight anyway..

Would it make a difference to you if the Doc were a woman? Most of the ob/gyns in my area are women.

It might be useful for you to pinpoint what exactly about a gyn exam is so frightful to you. Since you are sexually active you can tolerate being touched there. The speculum is cold but it's not painful. Do you feel that gyn exams are sexual events as opposed to simply clinical events? What is the nexus of your fear? If you know exactly what the problem is, steps can be taken to resolve it.

Pregnancy exams are not a single event. There are eight or more exams per pregnancy.

Would understanding that gyn exams are a choice, help your feelings in the long run? You are an adult and if you decide to never have one again; that is a choice that's available to you. (Though it would be unethical to choose pregnancy but choose against obstetrical care.)

No it wouldn't. The follow up appointment was with a female and I wouldn't let her near me.
I don't trust people very easily and have never liked being looked at there, once I got my period any time I had a physical at my pediatric doc I would claim it was that time of the month so they would leave me alone.

Oh I realize pregnancy is not a single exam or event, but I've definitely discovered in my research that most OBGYNS are much more internal examination than most midwifes and OBGYNS end up being much more surgically oriented than most midwifes. I've been researching pregnancy for well over a year now as I want to be as prepared as you can be (I am aware there will always be surprises) and I'm much more open to a midwife as that is more of a personal relationship rather than HURRY UP YOU ARE NOT PROGRESSING. PUSH. GET ON YOUR BACK. I WANT TO GO HOME NOW SO LETS CUT YOU OPEN. If I'm not high risk. I want to be in a blow up pool in my home where I am happy, safe feeling and comfortable. Hospitals smell like death and cleaners.

I don't get on well with docs anyway. The only reason I can talk to my psych doc about it is because I've had her since I was 13-14 and am now 21. So they relationship developed over much time.

The whole idea is disgusting to me. It makes me physically uncomfortable and ill. Not really any one thing in particular but all of it. Especially such a sterile and impersonal figure as a doctor. The anxiety makes it a severely painful experience Yes I can stand sexual contact, but that has only been with 3 individuals who I trusted completely (in long term relationships) which does not happen easily at all. There are times where I don't have sex with my fiance as I get in moods where as much as I may want that physical contact the thought makes me feel anxious and awkward.

It's much better knowing it's a choice, not that anyone would have been able to force me to do it earlier, the only reason I did it the first time is because I was worried about ectopic pregnancy from the pains i was having. Unfortunately the docs figured 1/2 a ativan would "calm me' even though I'm prescribed at least 2mg and my psych knows that won't usually touch me if I'm scared. It's like eating smarties all those meds. usually less than 100lbs and you could prob knock out a small horse with the meds they had to give me at the dentist.

Has your psych doc suggested any kind of therapy to alleviate the feelings of disgust and anxiety? That doesn't sound fun at all.

She doesn't really know much to do at this point especially since I just had to get a new therapist so it will be a couple months before I actually can deal with talking about somewhat personal stuff. Doc really wants to find gyno who specializes in scared people. I'm also starting the process of applying for a psychiatric service dog which we think would be a big help in preventing a large amount of my severe reactions to uncomfortable situations

They really should sedate you as much as necessary to make you feel comfortable with getting it done.

I hate pelvic exams although you sound like you have more problems with it than I do. They never so much as offered me a valium, not even when I was young and would just refuse them.

When I was young, even when I was pregnant, I refused pelvic exams. I didn't do a six week checkup either. I didn't even want to be pregnant and only did one prenatal visit and it was to try to get an abortion. It was too late.

I didn't get my first pelvic exam until I was 18 and pregnant again and had to get one in order to get an abortion. I got a couple after that and then didn't get any more until last year when between period bleeding made my worry and I ended up having cervical cancer. Now I had to do internal radiation which was awful (at least it's over) and I'll have to do so many pelvic exams now. After cancer they do them every 3 months for a while and then every 6 months. Because I had radiation they expect me to use dilators so things don't close up down there. As if I can even get myself to use those awful things.

I hate penetration and haven't had sex since 1995.

Hanyo I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that, I don't think I would have been able to function through any of that.



Anomiel- I agree with the whole if men had to deal with it they'd def make it easier I once asked my doc why they didn't just use a tampon camera lmao.. It didn't help that in the hospital setting the gave me a vaginal ultrasound WITHOUT telling me they were going to do it (and with my now fiance out of the room so I was completely alone with a student doctor and a male reg doc.) because "the exam freaked me out so much they didn't want it to happen again" so I felt violated as well, fortunately they did do swabs (only useful thing to come out of that 3am sh*t show) everything came back negative.

I always refuse these exams. Infact I always request the normal ultrasound and not vaginal. Apparently they can't force a vaginal exam if you refuse. If the ultrasound has to be vaginal which I've never had I'd change the ultrasound venue. Although I did have pelvic exams I was very comfortable because I had a old woman gynecologist do them. I told her about how it makes me uncomfortable and she made me feel comfortable before she started the exam. So I what I'd suggest is find one who you can be comfortable with communicate your fears with. Ask around for suggestions. I always had my mom or my husband in the room when getting one done makes me feel safer.

I am exactly the same way. I have avoided doctors all my life. I remember when I was a small child experiencing absolute mind numbing terror about going to a doctor. I have never had a mammogram. I simply cannot do it, but now there is some evidence to support avoiding them for scientifically verified reasons of harm. Like you I get triggered just talking about it. I had a mass in my breast and I refused all procedures..just simply could not bear it. It was mentally and physically impossible to make myself do it. I ended up getting with a German New Medicine doctor and today the mass is gone. I have not had a pap smear or colonoscopy and I simply can't. People don't understand this, but for me, with my extreme horror of this, it is simply not possible. The last physical exam I had I vomited afterward and though it was years ago, I still feel sick just thinking about it. And I will not try to do anything about it. Contemplating putting myself in that situation feels about the same as going to the guillotine. I will go through my life without these things and whatever happens, will be. This is probably the most extreme quirk I have. I am 65...not likely to go away now.

I hate to be touched, period. I haven't found any way to get around the misery of those appointments so I avoid them altogether which isn't good either. I've actually clamped my legs on a doctors head before.

I've only had a PAP test done once in my whole life, and that was years ago shortly before my diagnosis with Asperger's and for some reason it was to see if my constant meltdowns and "behavioral" problems were some woman thing, though I don't know what other things except for PMS would be the reason behind and it can't be diagnosed with a PAP test, as far as I know. My doctor was male and the whole experience was embarrassing, uncomfortable and painful. If I had to get another one I would not be able to calm down now matter how much they told me or said that just makes it worse. I heard on Discovery one time that the forceps they use now may have been inspired by some medieval torture device called "The Pear of Anguish". Go figure. I now recently have a female gyno who is also my cousin or aunt (I don't really remember right now because I hadn't seen her since I was a little girl) and she is very nice, but I think having someone I know looking up my area would be even more embarrassing. If I saw her off the job be I would able to think would be how to have a conversation without mention of my hoo-ha.

Anyway that probably didn't help your situation much. I like to think men don't have so great either when they need a prostate exam. Sounds even worse, actually.

This freaks me out too!

I absolutely dread the day that I have to visit a gynaecologist or have any doctor look/touch down there.