Virginity: Double Standard

Post Reply New Topic

I'm really flustered over the fact that if a man is a virgin society considers that man a looser, but if a woman isn't a virgin society considers her as a slut. Gah!

Eh.

Nothing really to worry about.

Everybody is equal no matter if Male or Female, Virgin or Not. But being a virgin is cool! And shows strength to save ones self for marriage. But if someone isn’t a virgin, that person should not be looked down upon in any way.

Just wait until you are considered 'slut' for not putting out. and 'acceptable' if you do.

It's not *supposed* to make sense.

Has anyone noticed that Aspie guys tend to have trouble with that and they tend to be Virgins, while female Aspies tend to have no trouble with that and tend to be taken advantage of.

What I'm trying to say is both seem to fit the prerequisites for being opposed to societies standards, but in different ways, it's like society allows them to set the standard for what isn't right then tosses them away.

Actually, if a man is a virgin, I think it's sweet

That's the first time somebody has said something so nice.

I am not necessarily saving myself for marriage, but I don't have an "open door policy" either.

Tim

Everyone here posts very interesting opinions.
I enjoy reading the different points of views, some of which are really great. Perhaps someone with formal counseling skills in this area would be interestingly helpful in such a complicated and sensitive subject.

This statement I’m about to make may be wrong, but it’s what comes to my mind.

“No need to do anything to please others for acceptance. Know who you are, and be confident in yourself. ”

Oops, I did not realize this was a woman’s discussion sorry, This will be the last thing I post here Y’all have a great day!

Its just the old crap again about society standards.

If a guy sleeps around, he's a legend, if a woman does, she's a slut.

I find my lack of sexual experience is offputting to guys actually though.

When I think about this issue from a guy's perspective its kinda like kindness itself - if you appear like someone who's strong enough and full of enough testosterone to be a real successful a--hole if you wanted to be but choose not to its commendable, if you appear like you'd have to be out of weakness at least at a certain age your treated as if you're defaulting on that because you have to and its definitely not respected.

At least these days I have the confidence and fulfillment of knowing that if I wanted to go out and get it I could, I really don't want to though just because for me - just the way I feel and me suiting myself and nothing more - getting it on with a girl that I'm not feeling like that just to get a fix is a lot like just j---ing myself off with a p---- and when you think about it that's about the extent of what it really is. When you think of it like that it's kinda tasteless and especially when you have friends who do that you realize they really don't have anything better, they've just made a different choice than you have and they're also taking major risks with their own personal health, well-being, and financial future. Yeah, if she's a party girl and real endearingly feisty about how she flirts its tempting but still I really try to hold myself back just because the act means something to me and every risk and reputational consequence kinda flashes in front of my own mental monitor before I even think on acting. A lot of my friends especially who are self-proclaimed man-whores even say it, they aren't proud of themselves and they feel like they have a weakness that's actually pushing them away and separating them from really finding the kind of woman they really want.

I don't think anyone other than the Mormons consider a woman a slut just for not being a virgin. Now sleeping with 100 different people...then we're getting into slut territory...

I consider it slu*ty for anyone who sleeps around, regardless of whether they are male or female. However, they are not hurting me so therefore I do not judge them on it. I just personally wouldn't do it.

From my experience as a guy, I know people see you as a virgin if you past high school and say never dated or been in a relationship. They usually see you as a loser.

Dunno about still being a virgin, if you say something like you are saving up to marriage, however still had relationship/dating experience, a lot of people are accepting.

See, I've been saying the exact same thing ALOT, but the women on here only want to flame me because I'm not 100% blindly pro female, and not even acknowledging that I also criticise men on our bad social constructs. I think it's stupid that a man is a legend where a woman is a slut too. I still think women can get a date ALOT easier on average than a man can.

That being said, there are faults in the social constructs of both genders. Rather than going to war with one another, people should admit to their gender's faults and work together to find a common solution. This begins by people on both sides NOT trying to be dominant and holier-than-thou, and admitting to their own gender's malfunctional errors. Most people, male and female, need intimacy in their lives. However, a female can usually find a man, not always so for men looking for women, because women are in demand and guys have to do all the courting. Because of this, women have complete control on sexuality/sensuality.
Equality isn't 100% male, it isn't 100% female, equality is down the middle, 50/50. Men are starving to be included in the race for humanity, we do not wish to be shadows. Incel leads to alot of social illness, and it is predominantly a male issue. Believe me, you have no clue what it's like to feel completely alienated, beyond hope of ever finding anyone who sees you as anything more than a plutonic friend, and then living in a society that constantly rubs your nose in it but then tells you to "not worry about it".

My solution is legalising non-exploitative, free will prostitution. Either that or women would have to start courting men 50/50, which would probably end up lowering the average woman's standards and expectations.... Because this is a large part of why men's standards and expectations are lower than women's.