Girls liking Guy stuff

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I'm only just starting to learn about being an Aspie (I'm pretty sure that I am, getting tested next week) and I noticed in this section on the forum that females can be "less female" when they have Aspergers? This really interested me because I've always struggled with this for my whole life, and just labeled myself a "tom-boy" and tried to make peace with it. If anyone could help me to expand on this knowledge I would greatly appreciate it. When I was a child, I used to:

- Style my hair like a boy with hair gel
- Dress in boys clothing (even at school)
- Gravitate towards friendships with boys (similar interests/play habits)
- Prefer "boy colors" and toys (example: I would request hockey equipment as gifts)
- I was obsessed with boys being able to stand and pee
- Had a boys bike (and did better tricks on it than the boys in town)
- Watch boys cartoons
- Build forts (really build them, with a hammer and nails)
- One time a boy told me my voice sounds like a boys

There's probably more but that's all I remember off the top of my head. I did have barbie dolls and normal "girl" interests too, but I was mostly interested in boy things. To this day, I am definetly NOT a normal woman. I've been getting so mad at my husband for being more girly than me! (I feel bad about that now). I mean, I've been doing a lot of construction work on our house, and I'm good at it. I dress kind of blah, jeans and a t-shirt (although part of me LOVES buying really girly clothes which is kind of random). I don't really like jewelry, and I can't seem to remember to put it on. I'll wear body spray sometimes when I'm stinky and don't have time to shower haha. I've always had a really difficult time relating to girls/women because I just don't understand their typical interests, or care much about them. However, I've never ever had trouble making friends with boys. As I got older this helped me when it came to dating because guys would tell me that these "tom-boy" qualities were "hot". However, it kind of backfired when I got married because all of the rules changed and now it's kind of weird for me to be hanging around guys (especially since they do think this is "hot" apparently)...so now I'm having a really difficult time making female friends. However, when I try, I can "tap into" my girly side, so it does exist. And I've always loved watching "chick flicks" and I'm constantly nagging my hubby to "fulfill my emotional needs" (he's an Aspie too so he looks at me like I have 3 heads when I say that).

Anyway...can anyone relate to this? Is this because of Aspergers?

Maybe I can find some Aspie women friends who act like guys so that I don't have to try to pretend to want to paint my nails

If you mean that I used to ditch the dolls my mother gave me as a child for stuffed animals trucks, Lego and Meccano.
If you mean, do I like muscle cars, trucks, planes and trains etc.
If you mean, that I can fix aforementioned car and know how to use the machinery and tools in my workshop.
If you mean, that can drive trucks, tractors, etc.
If you mean I can build fences and install irrigation systems.
If you mean I have dirt under my fingernails on a daily basis.
Then sure, I guess you could say I act like a guy most of the time, even though I don't believe for a minute that these things are exclusively for guys only.

And even though I feel comfortable in my jeans, flannel shirt and casual shoes or in my sweats with my hair in a messy bun, I also like to dress up, pluck my eyebrows, wear my long hair down, paint my toenails, and stand 6'2" in my skyscraper stilettos, because I like to look and feel feminine on occasion.

I kind of reject the concept of 'girl stuff' and 'guy stuff', but then, I love building and home improvement type projects and I play WoW (and am my guild's main tank). When I was a little kid I used to use my stuffed animals as blocks and build forts and vehicles out of them... so yeah. I get what you mean about it helping with socializing and guys thinking it's "hot", that's pretty much the only way I could connect with people when I was younger. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it as long as you don't, you know, deliberately lead them on.

But I also like pretty clothing (especially long hippie skirts), flower gardening, and babies/little kids. Maybe aspies are just less inclined to internalize society's arbitrary rules about what a particular gender should like. There's also the "right-brained"ness (that's usually linked to so-called "guy things", although I think things like fashion and interior design are right-brained as well) and lack of interest in touchy-feely social stuff that might make us seem masculine.

I hate girly clothes. There are only two reasons I will wear girl clothes:
They are blue or green.
My mom forces me to buy AND wear them.

I don't particularly like jewelry, but I love colors so I make jewelry occasionally.
I don't like skintight clothes.
I don't like short shorts.
I don't like short skirts or dresses.
I don't like short shirts.

Well I...

...played football (soccer); Sunday league and school.
...played tag rugby.
...used to collect trading cards/had various sticker collections i.e. Marvel Top Trumps, Match, Yugioh and Jackie Chan.
...wore tracksuits all the time.
...used to collect Action men.
...played with Lego and Kinex.
...play drums.
...skateboard; I'm not too good, but I'm ok.
...play video games.
...never wear skirts, but wear trousers and shorts; usually jeans, football shorts or cargos.
...never wear high heels when occasionally wearing smart feminine clothing (only for very special occasions); I always wear 'flats'.
...always wear trainers; usually Vans or Globe skate shoes, although I used to wear Converse shoes a few years ago, aswell as Nike Astro turf trainers with tracksuits.
...always wear/buy men's t-shirts.
...usually only seem to make friends with boys and 'tom-boys'.

when i was really young, i used to have a barbie collection then at some point, don't remember when, i decided i liked guy things better, lego's and so forth. it might have also helped that i had a younger brother. When i was really young i also used to wear dresses. every once in a while i will still wear a dress but i would much rather wear my cargo's and a loose t-shirt and my crocs. the last time i wore heels was for my senior prom back in 2001.

I've seen this theme in AS research I've done and that my friend did, some women with AS to tend to trend more towards male interests. This can be a huge advantage since it can give them an "in" to the STEM fields.

I can relate a lot; I always felt like I didn't fit in with the girls when I was a kid, but as I got older I realized I wasn't very boyish either. I'm somewhere in between. I've had friends who were both male and female, but I lost most of my male friends because they just wanted to date me and couldn't stand the rejection.

I find that the people I relate to the best are people who have qualities of both. I get along with non-girly girls and non-macho guys.

Don't be afraid to be yourself! There's no such thing as a "normal" woman; there are many different kinds

This is a great thread! And it's like I wrote all of them.
I never liked girly clothes, shoes, makeup, activities, shopping, manicures, etc. I do pluck my eyebrows or get them waxed and used to paint my toenails in summer but stopped that.
I like sweatpants and Tshirts, flip flops or sneakers. Sometimes I wear my husbands shirts.
I didn't like dolls. I carried around a stuffed Popeye doll at around age 3-4.
I had Barbie dolls but I didn't pay much attention to them.
For my 2nd birthday, my grandparents took me to the toy store and let me pick out whatever I wanted. They kept encouraging me to pick something girly but I chose one of those pedal cars that you sit in and drive. I was really upset when I no longer fit into it a few yrs later.
I pretty much know what each tool in the shed is for and can use them pretty efficiently. Interestingly, my father, who I suspect also has AS, is clueless about tools.
I just pretty much do not act like a typical grown woman. I consider myself somewhat unfeminine and a bit immature for my age.

Hello:

I have always said I wanted to 'play with the boys' - even in academic pursuits today. I don't dislike women, I just have an easier time talking to guys. I get over-polite with women - I am more awkward - it is a different dance. I think there is more at stake as for fitting in. I have found if I hang with the guys too much, though - people read sexual relationships into everything and ruin it - I just want to talk to people with common interests. I don't like stereotypical women's activities - I hate my hubby making friends and then deciding I would get along with 'the wife'. I don't like being relegated to 'my place' nor do I think I have to get along just so we are 'couples'. Well, it's not that I 'don't get along' - I just don't want to go through that over and over and over and over. I don't like getting stuck while he has a jolly good time. I guess I am a bag. When I was little, I did imagine I was a special 'fairy-princess'. I wanted to be dainty, so I tried to walk with my hands out like a Disney princess. I got ridiculed. My nickname was 'moose' - great for a preteen's self esteem

I grew up in small community and I have a friend I still see as a sister. If not for her, I would have no clue about shaving my legs and such. I was bullied pretty bad for trying my own sense of style. In grade 8, I had a crocheted purse my Nan made and a girl ripped it from my shoulder and wrecked it - I was so proud because my Nan said I was her only grand-daughter who would wear it. I'm a bit of rebel - I don't like commercialism - I resent razor companies and now 'white teeth' commercials dictating what is supposedly beautiful. I do enjoy seeing how other people can dress themselves art-wise - some people have a flair. As long as they are comfortable. I think fashion is silly - but people treat it so seriously - it is okay if it is fun, I think. I would be dragged into What Not to Wear - I like yoga pants, jeans and t-shirts. I don't like too much of my arms and legs to show. Pajamas are my favorite.

Logicalmom

I love guns and cars. I'll talk about them all day long, or mess with them if somebodys got one to mess with. I get along better as friends with guys than I do girls usually too. Always have.

I am feminine though and do love to do my hair and makeup and wear girly stuff, but I also like that tomboy look too. THe jeans and tshirt, less makeup and hair pulled back look.

However I do not like sports at all.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com