Which is worse in a relationship?

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I have been wondering all day about forgiveness and things which people put up with, so I thought I'd ask somewhere there are intelligent open minded people (not always easy to find!) as its quite a taboo subject.

Say a husband/partner was drunk and did a terrible thing, he is responsible for getting drunk, its not excusing anything, but takes away premeditation.

I started a poll to this end with a choice of drunken actions, first is sleeping with another woman, second is beating his wife/partner. (like I said, a taboo subject, but be honest, it happens)

For the sake of simplicity, neither action results in any serious or lasting medical problem and was never repeated.

If you can spare a moment to vote, I really wonder which is perceived as more destructive to the relationship, from a woman's viewpoint rather than the legal viewpoint.

Comments welcome.

Of course it was never repeated, if he did either of those things, relationship over! So in that sense they are equally as destructive to the relationship in my view. I chose violence because I consider it the more serious act in general.

There's a chance we might be able to discuss the cheating, depends on the circumstances. But not the beating. Out the door.

I have this view that it is impossible for men not to cheat (eventually or habitually depending on the man) although I am sure I am wrong, but either way, violence is way worse

I go for violence too. Although if you knew for sure somehow it would only be one time I think I could forget about violence easier than cheating. But you could never know that.

cheating is a psychic form of violence, IMHO. so in my mind the poll question was about choosing between two violences.

My mother put up with a man who was both violent and a cheater. She eventually left him.

that was my father as well, my mother outlived him, barely.

yes. cheating and violence is the worst.

Well, gosh, look at me, the odd vote out at this point.

Bottom line: a violent drunk that sobers up is less likely to be violent. A sober cheater is still a cheater.

it has been my experience that cheaters more often than not are also violent.

OP, I voted that violence is worse.

I did not vote

I won't put up with either one, only one of my partners did either - the same partner did both, she beat me AND cheated while accusing ME of cheating at the same time.

I did not vote

I won't put up with either one, only one of my partners did either - the same partner did both, she beat me AND cheated while accusing ME of cheating at the same time.

I voted for violence because I consider people who commit it to be completely unworthy of forgiveness.