Makeup and Why it Bothers Me

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So, I've never really been into the whole makeup thing. I have no interest in putting it on, but almost everyone else I know, females mostly, cake the stuff on. I rarely see girls/women without it. It seems to me that unless I'm wearing makeup, guys/girls think that I'm a slob and don't take care of myself. I don't get the appeal behind it, nor do I get why I absolutely have to wear the crap in order to be "attractive" to society. It makes me feel inadequate and judged since I don't. Even people I'm close to think I'm 'depressed' because I'm not obsessed with my physical appearance and making sure every hair is perfect, etc.

Can someone please explain why we are forced to wear the stuff if we want to be attractive? Am I allowed to be without it?

You can definitely be beautiful without makeup. Don't let society make you feel you have to wear it. I think cleanliness is the best "beauty". Having said that, I personally do wear make-up because I had bad acne as a teenager and still have ruddy, uneven splotchy skin. I was badly bullied for my acne. I am 50 now and still have the old scars (physical and mental), and have a hard time if someone looks at my face too long. The make-up kind of feels like a separation between me and other people, which helps with my confidence somewhat. I did go without make-up once and my friend asked me if I was sick!
Anyway, I think every woman can and should decide this for herself.
Amelia

Who forces you to wear makeup?

You are ABSOLUTELY entitled to go without it!

Personally, I like a woman's natural beauty.

I didn't get it for a long time either Kinme. And even though I "get it" now - I still don't like it.

I remember being absolutely confused the crap out of , why some girls would paint their faces at 13 and 14 during high school.
When I did modelling during the same time, was the first time that I had to wear it since photographers won't shoot without it - and I didn't like the stuff at all.

They consider it part of "taking care of oneself" and "being presentable" - if you're a woman.
Women will always be judged more harshly on their personal appearance than men will be - especially by other women.

Personally I do not consider putting chemicals on myself to make other people happy, something healthy, nor do I consider it taking care of myself.
You *are* allowed to be attractive without it. (although there is make up without the worst kinds of chemicals in them too)

Really there are two choices here:
1) You can take care of yourself, eat very healthy, have a physical activity that you enjoy frequently, and dress well and make sure your hair is neat - and still be considered attractive. Sometimes wearing eyeliner and chapstick or lip gloss - you can end up looking better than girls with a mask full of make up. If you do this, most people can be considered attractive. Sadly, eating well, and finding a physical activity that they enjoy is far too much work for some people, which leads to option 2.

2) You can use make up, clothes, push up bras, high heels and etc to accentuate your features - or especially in the case of make up, you can use it to hide the physical signs that you are not healthy (since especially your diet impacts on your skin and what it looks like). Most women choose this option, as spending 20 minutes putting their make up on every morning is takes much less commitment, time and dedication to oneself than achieving the same result naturally. While not *all* women do this, a large portion of them do. Some women do a mixture of the first and the second.

Make up now has been shown on almost every commercial image and women are very unused to seeing other women without it - men are not used to seeing women without it either. Women will judge others for not wearing it - unless they *think* that you are (other girls often comment that they can't tell I have make up on, and they wish they could do it as well as me - before realising that I *don't* have any on, which I have to tell them).

So you kind of have 2 options - take care of yourself so you look good without it, or wear it. A person who does neither of those things will probably find it makes their live much more difficult - they may have difficultly getting jobs, making friends, and getting dates without doing one of those 2 things - people assume that if you do not take care of yourself, then you do not value yourself and that if you do not value yourself, that you are not of much value - and therefore would make a bad employee, friend, partner, etc. It's a pretty twisted thought process, but it is one that the majority of society runs off.

Last edited by Kjas on 29 Apr 2013, 11:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Society does.

I don't judge people for wearing or not wearing makeup. I'm so sick of women judging other women for not doing the same thing they're doing. Why can't they just respect other people's choices.

Because it isn't socially acceptable to be like that?

There are certainly plenty of people out there who will see you not wearing it as "not taking care of yourself." But don't generalize and assume that everyone will.

You don't have to wear it to be attractive. There are tons of people out there who prefer women without it. Yes there are some for whom you'd have to wear it to be considered attractive, but some will find you attractive and others won't no matter what you do.

I get that you feel pressure to look a certain way, that you are made to feel that you won't be accepted unless you do. But the pressure you feel does not necessarily reflect the reality of the situation.

It's easier to remember the negative reactions you get when you don't wear it than to remember the people who just don't give a s**t whether you do or not. But that doesn't mean that the people who don't care, or prefer you without it, aren't out there.

I also often think about this makeup "problem". I don´t use makeup, too and some people alwys want me to try it although I think I don´t need it and I don´t want to use it.
I care about myself of course but this doesn´t include makeup for me.So I ignore the bad comments and do what I want to.

I do agree with mds_02.

While it is a standard of "society" - you don't have to wear it.

I would rather it was done away with all together.

At the end of the day you have to figure out what you personally, can live with and the consequences of it, to your life, but especially to yourself. For you, that might mean not wearing it.

It has been many years since I have worn makeup, but I do remember the benefit of having a mask-like separation in place, kind of like a Kabuki dancer. It DID help with self-confidence, knowing that people weren't looking at the "real me."

Also different regions of the country have different attitudes about this. Currently I live in a very rural area and if women beyond their 20s wear obvious make-up they are seen as a joke.

I'll explain why. Because while in many situations it's perfectly "fine" to go without makeup, especially when you look pretty without it, in other situations where you are expected to pay a bit more attention to your appearance it looks like you neglected to finish a final "polish".
It's the same way that a lady would look just fine in a casual or sun dress with sandals and without stockings but she would not look just fine in a tailored business suit, pumps and no stockings.

"Makeup" does not have to be a full foundation/concealer/blush/contour, etc, etc, etc. It can simply be a light powder, some lipstick or gloss, and a touch of mascara unless your lashes are exceptionaly dark.

If a man were to go to a black tie dinner and insist that it should be perfectly ok for him to wear a business suit, that is pretty much the same thing. You don't absolutely "have to" wear makeup to non dressy, or non professional situations, but if you choose not to wear it in those situations it's the same as a man wearing clothes one or two levels of casual below that of everyone else and the accepted standard.

The bottom line is that while a lady may not need makeup to be pretty, in many situations she needs it to look polished.

I never wear makeup and no one ever bothers me about it. I'd ignore them if they did.

I don't wear makeup because it hurts on my skin.
I put in on only sometimes when I go to parties (I very rarely go to parties, so that's not a problem).
I never wear it when I go out (also because it would take too much time).
People in the past have criticized me because of that, but I didn't care.
Currently, no one bothers me because of that.

My mother in law explained it similar. The question I ask myself: So you are expected to come polished? So why do so many woman not polish themselve, and come unsporty, without any propper muscle building, having unhealthy skin because of eating unhealthy food, having unhealthy nails and hairs because of not caring for them the right way and trying to disguise that in ridiculous ways?

So you say that people are expected to come polish, but when it comes to body form or health the same woman that demand how important it is to be polished, dont see a need to polish themselves with a diet or some sport? In the opposite if I would ask them, why they havent polished their butts before the event, they would tell me about being rude? But them telling me that I need to polish my face is not rude?


Why cant I choose that I dont want to have a lipgloss/Mascara polished face, while they can refuse to have a sport polished butt?

And no. I am perfectly fine with "Let everyone be they way he is and that makes him/her happy." I am simply asking myself, why its often specially the physical most unpolished people, that want to tell you about the necessary to polish yourself." I mean my mother in law has massive overweight, a ruined back because of never doing any sport, smoking all the time which leads to her being a wandering miasmating spot: And then she thinks to give me lectures about polishing, how you call it?

Sorry but I dont get it. Specially when I am normally to have this discussions upon events I dont want to visit anyway. So first I get told that I have to visit this and that nonsense, and then I I am forced to do it the most uncomforting way by terrorizing me with lots of social habbits nobody can propper explain, and afterwards I get asked why I dont want to visit these events on my own. -.-

If they want something polished to polish their event, I know a good shop for furniture.

And in many places without polish, the only job you'll get male or female is IN that good shop for furniture.

Unless it's Braswell's or Ethan Allen, then you'll have to look a bit more Junior League to work there.