Any female Aspies decided that motherhood is not for them?

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I am 35 and have been married for a year. I have never wanted to be a mother. I love the h!ll out of animals, though, and my animal family is sometimes growing inch by inch. We have 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 hamsters, a Betta fish, a goldfish, some fish in a tank and an African dwarf frog.

I love my peaceful blissful quiet sleep, I am always pursueing new hobbies, love to explore and read, and never wanted anything nomatter how wonderful people say it is, to cramp my style.

Shortly after getting married I got the copper t IUD and adopted a kitten from my husband's cousin's cats' litter. She always has plenty of cats too.LOL This year I adopted another kitten from hubby's coworkers cat litter,a dn she just got spayed today. My mothr in law has lots of dogs and puppies and aunt has lots of cats and dogs. So I guess Im not too weird. Parenthood is stressful, expensive, time consuming and just not for me,I suppose.

I also don't think I want to pass along any more of my screwed up weird genes.

Who else feels this way? Also, people who say "someday you'll change your mind" really irritate me...

I am w/ you and I am also annoyed at the people who don't take me seriously. I have legit reasons.

Yeah, it sucks when people question your desires or try to change your mind about something so personal as having a kid, or getting married. You seem really happy with your situation, why would you want to go and do something like have a kid if you don't feel good about it? It's different if it's coming from your husband, though. Since you did not specify, I assume it's not your husband.

A friend of mine told me recently she thinks you need to be more than indifferent to have kids.

You were just explaining why you don't want to have kids, not fighting off people who are telling you that you're wrong.
I agree with you about not wanting to pass the genes along. It's a sad, lonely feeling huh. Do you live in the U.S.? Sometimes I wonder if I would feel the same way about my reproductive "value" if I lived in another less extroverted society like Canada where I could be my normal, fast-thinking, slow-talking self and blend in better. Do you ever think this way?
I'm 32, and the question of babies is on my mind all the time even though I'm single.

I never wanted kids and will never have them. I'm not even physically able to have them any more and I'm glad about that.

I would love to have kids, but I will have to find someone that wants to have them with me first...

I don't know.
I've never really thought about it actually.

But people have always told me that motherhood is not for me because I am irresponsible.

No kids. Ever. Not happening. When people say "You'll be such a good mom someday!" it's like, why the f**k would I just have kids despite having no desire? I'm never having kids. Even if an accident occurs in the future(as it has once in the past) as long as I have access to abortion I will never be a parent. I can't even survive a pregnancy.

It's not because of not having a safe chance of having kids, I just never want to be a mother, it seems totally unnatural to me. When I got pregnant before I felt like I had a parasite in my body, a cancer eating away at me, I'm NOT going to be a mother. I even thought "If I can't afford an abortion I'm going to kill myself."

I certainly do not plan to, I don't see how I'd be able to take care of them...would I be able to bring them to the psych ward when I have to go there? I just don't see it working out considering my mental health issues.

I quite like children and am quite nurturing. I don't want to reproduce. I've thought about adopting or fostering when I'm older, if the powers that be deem me suitable.

I haven't heard the "are you planning two have kids yet' convo yet, but i feel it is just a matter of time.

Also, Im not the nurturing kind,I can be quite a hard-a** a lot of the time. lol

I have decided to not have kids, mainly because my genes are screwy.
Also partly because I don't think I would be-able to care for them properly.

The thing is, I'm 15. People tell me not to think about motherhood at my young age, but guess what? I already have.

Meems, that's why I want to get sterilized as soon as I can. Idk if you meant that you couldn't survive a pregnancy in a physical way or mental one, but I couldn't do either one. Even an abortion would place a tremendous strain on my body.

Jellycat, I was close to your age when I made my decision. You're not alone.

^^^
MD: it does place a lot of stress on you. Watching others go through it is bad enough actually.

I get people telling me the exact same thing. When I inform them I don't want any and I'm never having any - they're like "Oh, you'll change your mind" or "You're too young to know what you really want yet."
(them saying those phrases now makes me want to slap them on the spot, but I digress )

No I won't. I made my decision at 13 and it hasn't changed once in the last 10 years. It's certainly not going to change in the next ten. I have too many reasons not to, and not one reason to do it. How anyone thinks they can decide for me when they have not one clue what my life is like is beyond me.

About the last bolded part: apparently those thoughts are normal when you find out that you are pregnant, especially if you do not want children. The hormonal changes, combined with the mental and physical stress means that is apparently a normal reaction.

Last edited by Kjas on 17 May 2013, 12:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yep. Jellycat, metaldanielle and Kjas, I also decided at a early age (partly not wanting to pass my genes on, partly because I only have nurturing instincts if it has four legs )

Everyone told me I would change my mind when I got to 25....or 30....or 35....umm, no. Even now 40 is coming up fast, I know I have made the right decision.

So, yes, missconduct, some of us feel exactly the same way as you.

I've known since I was really young that I am just not a mother, and even though I baby-sat extensively when I was younger (or maybe because of it), I just never saw the appeal of parenthood. Some people (like my sibling) are wonderful at it and it's great to see, but all I need is to stand in a grocery store line up with a loud toddler and I'm ready to rip my ovaries out with a spoon.

I'm very sensitive to noise and interruption, not to mention mess. I'd have to be delusional to think I would enjoy being around a baby for more than a quick visit.