Fear of childbirth/carrying a child/periods

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I have nightmares about it! The idea of having a THING growing inside me. I appreciate a lot of ladies here are mothers, and I respect you for that, I couldn't do the 24/7 job that you do, but I don't want children. I hate children, and babies, urgh, I hate these TV shows about giving birth and such.

Next is period talk. Feel free to ignore that if you wish. I just don't fancy writing another topic.


I also don't like periods, at all. I mean of course, none of us enjoy them, but they do not feel a part of me or my 'womanhood'. I had the implant to bring my periods down to little as possible. When I do have one, it makes me so depressed. Not even the moodyness of periods, but just this womanly thing that shouldn't happen to me and does not feel right, it's almost like dissociation and an out of body experience when periods are involved. I don't know how I coped when I had them regularly.

If you get desperate enough, there's always a little operation called a "hysterectomy--salpingo-oophorectomy".

The one awesome thing about the depo shot= no periods. Unfortunately, it was the only good thing about it.

So being a mom and one at a very young age myself then waking up one day and thinking, " Maybe I shouldn't have had kids because I feel like a horrible mother!" (Not that I don't love all three of my children just that at times I feel like I've done them a terrible injustice) I have to ask...
Not liking periods or kids or the thought of even being pregnant for that matter, doesn't always = not liking sex which added to the fact you obviously have periods could result in your becoming pregnant and well a mom. That said, I did take into consideration that your OP said you've taken measures to reduce your monthly cycle as much as possible and I assume that means some form of birth control. However, I've had many friends become pregnant while on many different forms of birth control so it's clear and stated on the labeling of all tha I've ever seen Or heard of that none of them are 100% effective.

So, I have to ask (just because I couldn't post without doing so lol), have you considered other methods of insuring that you don't become pregnant and eventually a mom. I don't judge you for the not liking children and I certain agree with one of the other ppl that posted in that, having children isn't something ALL women should do. If you are this certain that you don't want to become a mom, you should probably try to find a doctor that will perform a tubaligation on you. I know that's hard here in the US before you've reached a certain age and/or had at least X amount of children already but, I'm not sure if that's true in other countries.

I'm a firm believer that if you feel children wouldn't be something you'd thoroughly enjoy and be dedicated to, you shouldn't have children. So I applaud you for staring your feelings so openly on the subject as it definitely doesn't come without running the risk of being ridiculed for feeling the way you do. Some ppl assume that not having a motherly instinct makes you a bad person. I don't believe that and I actually despise the women that KNOW they never wanted kids but, weren't careful to not get pregnant so they abusecand neglect their children as if it was the child's fault.

It doesn't have to be an either or scenario. I never saw myself having children, but now I don't know what I'd do without them. I have a feeling that the OP's feelings are quite common, but there's a fear of expressing them in most of society. I don't have numbers to substantiate, but stories of just post-partum depression have just recently just come to the forefront. My children aren't the result of any idealisation or fulfillment of womanhood. The joy is watching them grow into their own independent selves, as we parents try to instill what we hold important and dear. Add to that a great sense of relief as they gain their self-reliance and independence...

I have the nightmares too. I want to get sterilized but my Dr thinks I'm still too young to know my own mind. Birth control is not going well for me so I'm going to bring it up again next time.

I have the implant. I'm not going to get pregnant. Besides I don't bat for the men's team

I also didn't say I don't like sex. I don't know where that came from?

Wind, go to www.bratfree.com. there's a lot of support for child free people there but be warned, we really speak our minds!

Wind: I feel exactly the same (regarding pregnancy/childbirth/periods). When I got my first period, I hoped I'm just dreaming and it isn't really happening. It was like something died inside of me that day (and not only the unfertilized egg - ugh, what a cheap pun). I wished for that moment to never come, yet there it was. My childhood was over, yet I never truly accepted my womanhood. I seem to feel disconnected from my body and my gender.

What was the nature (or whoever created us) thinking when it made us have periods At least with birth control, I don't have to deal with the added cramps that used to be horrible. But it's still a disgusting process for me to go though.