Female official diagnosis stories?

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Well, I am still reading...but this seemed the appropriate place to post and ask for ladies to share! I understand we may struggle more than men to find proper diagnosis...
Please give me hope, but feel free to share it all, the good, bad, and ugly!
I realize some self-diagnose and some don't desire official diagnosis...for those of you who are seeking/have sought from health professionals, please dish!

I fell through the cracks for 39 years. I am socially awkward and have been an alien outcast no one liked nearly all my life, been bullied and shunned and hated and all that typical mean stuff and so I became shy and quiet and started mainly avoiding people a lot. I had no clue what my problem was. When I was a teen I was stressed out from the pressures to conform to everything and also aquire all the skilled needed to become an adult and go live on my own. I developed a bad case of anxiety problems because I knew I was behind everyone and needed help but was not getting any. My parents took me to a shrink who wanted to diagnose me with schizophrenia and I knew for sure that was not the cause of my problems. No meds or anything helped, so I stopped the shrinks because they were making everything worse, not any better.

Many years went by until about a year ago someone told me I might have Aspergers, and then I started looking into it. So then I decided it would probably be for my best interests to get an official diagnosis because I have a lot of sensory problems, and also have quite bad problems with people not liking me, which is very detrimental on my job outlook almost anywhere I go to seek employment. I usually can't get jobs almost anywhere because I am too weird to pass interviews and I easily get fired for being a big alien weirdo. The only place that really ever wanted me was the military because of my aptitude score on the ASVAB and my enjoying running and physical training.

It can be hard to find someone willing to diagnose an adult for autism. When I tried by myself, all the places I found and contacted refused to work with me because they said I was too old for their age limit requirements. Luckily the Veterans Affairs (VA) helped me find someone to test me, -they got pushy on one of those places that likes to only diagnose children and convinced them to test me-. Now I am diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and can identify an official cause for the 'terrible' 'strange' 'oddness' that so many people normally insist I must snap out, of or suffer the consequences. The diagnosis also helped me understand my sensory problems because they are linked with my strange neural wiring and stuff.

Also I might not be a typical female autistic if there is a typical type of female with autism. I am a bit more like Temple Grandin.. wired with visual and spacial things, patterns, science and mechanical things. I am average with math, and I hated reading and poetry when I was a kid, but I am better at them now, though poetry can still be a pain. I am kind of good at art. I am normally (when not bogged down with headaches) detail oriented and am somewhat good at drawing.

At Wrong Planet, it seems like an official diagnosis requires testing, which I don't really understand. Officially being tested is sometimes required for certain benefits like being accepted for services by a public agency as having ASD. But here it seems like a diagnosis by a licensed professional doesn't mean anything. And that's weird to me as a licensed professional can make the diagnosis and can tell me, or my child, or the school who has ASD with or without testing. And that diagnosis counts at school, too, however it has been made. But it seems like that doesn't count here without official testing.

I've been noticably difference since I was 8. I was turned into counseling by the school and saw a counseler for a few yrs and she just diagnosed me with selective mutism. Back then aspergers was a very very new diagnosis and there was probably no awareness of female aspergers. So fast foward to being 16, I knew there was something wrong even tho my mom just told me I was shy my entire life. So I saw some counselers and none were effective.Then when I was 18, I went into the school counseler and she thought I had aspergers and turned me in to get diagnosed and then the women diagnosed me. This was after what, being selectively mute and friendless for almost 10 yrs. For the most part from 7th thru 12th grade, I was largely ignored and overshadowed by the other students. I dont understand to this day why it took so long and why no one really did anything about it. I had to seek out counselers myself. I thought the school staff has some accountability for at least noticing this stuff. I didnt even go to a big school, 200 students in my class which is small compared to some highschools.

Ok so here's my story (and my hope for you):
I always felt different, but i never got the confirmation from others. Not from my parents or my teachers or any doctor or shrink i've been with. Everybody was always saying that there is nothing wrong with me, but i felt different, and it haunted me all my life. Until i went to college, and could not succeed at every education i tried. After the 3th attempt to succeed an education that failed i thought ok enough! This is it! There is something wrong with me, and i'm gonna find out what it is! Screw everybody! Nobody is going to say that i'm wrong at what i'm feeling and nobody is going to stop me until i find what it is! I wanted to proof that i was right, and the rest of the world wrong. It became my mission. Or more like, my preoccupation. I just had to know!

So the first thing i did was think of what it could be. I thought it could have something to do with intelligence, learning disabilities or behavior stuff. Some chemicals in my brain that didn't function right or something. I read a lot of all those things. I think i browsed the whole DSM. I wanted to get me tested on everything at that stuff. And that's when i found out! I was 21 at the time (i'm 30 now). I just didn't listen to the people around me, but listened to my heart, and demanded to be tested at a test center for learning and behavior disabilities. I convinced my parents to pay for the exam, and that i would be paying them back if they wanted, but they eventually said it was ok. So i did al the tests, and gave them everything i could find like old school results and doctors appointments, childhood memories. Anything that could maybe proof that i'm not crazy, and that there is something going on with me.

My first diagnosis was NLD, which i could recognize myself in, but i was still not pleased completely. It was just a feeling. I missed something in that diagnosis, though i didn't know what exactly. So i dug a little further, and finally found myself in the autism diagnosis as 'most complete' and demanded people to test me on this. It wasn't easy, i really had to try and talk many times, but i finally did it. I found some people who really listened at what i said, and agree with me. This couldn't be nothing else than autism. So i did all the tests again, until i was diagnosed. I don't know if it's the autism or just my personality (or it's a women thing ), but i can be very firm and persuasive. If i want something, i get it, because i want it. My will can be very strong. My will and my motivations helped me eventually to get my diagnosis, which was important to me, because i wanted to get a black-on-white proof that i was right about myself! It's like what Sheldon Cooper once said: 'Don't you think that if i'm wrong, i would know it?' So that's how i got my diagnosis. It took me 4 years, but i got my answer! Through all the things i read, and every time i spoke about it with other females with autism, i just couldn't be more sure about myself. It was a relieve for me knowing that i am not alone in this, but specially, i was right all those years! I'm really glad i listened to my heart instead of all the 'professionals' that couldn't see what i felt all those years!

Also, what really helped me in the process, i joined a special forum in my own country (the Netherlands) which is built specially for women with autism. There i learned the difference between people with autism, especially the difference between autistic men and autistic women. I also read a book which was written by a female with autism from that forum, that explains the whole 'women with autism-thing' and give a critical note to science on why it is such a hard thing to get the diagnosis for women. A little bit scientific but also based on the experience from all the women on the forum, and multiple interviews from women with autism (with also a normal intelligence) all over the country. At this moment they are very busy to translate the book in English. It's called 'not insensitive' and i hope it comes out very soon, because i think the world needs more books and women like this. Women who stand up and speak out, because it's true, autism is still considered more of a 'male-condition', and therefore it can be very hard for women to find out.

I still walk up on stigma's. Most people react like: 'You autistic? no way! you're too social for that!'. Although i do see that as a compliment, i also think it's time that people (that includes science) have to learn that autism is not only a 'social disorder' it's much more than that! It's the way you experience life, your sensory perception, your emotional perception, the way you think, the way you learn and the way you feel. And those are just a few examples. I guess women have always be way more complex than men, and it will always be that way. Simply because we are. That's just nature telling us to be strong, because there's nothing we can't handle!
Don't give up on yourself, just do what your heart and intuition is giving you, and act on that! You are still a human being. And you have the right to know what's wrong with you. You know better than anyone else around you, simply because you are you, and you're the only one who can really know what you're going through. If nobody will listen, just search long enough till somebody will. If you want something, just get it, and don't stop until you get it! Perseverance will be rewarded eventually!

Autism in women is a real thing. We didn't made it up! It's invisible but we do suffer. And we survive. But a little bit of confirmation can help to learn to deal with it, accept it and to give more self esteem. We don't need to be cured. We only need to be understood a little bit more, and to get taking serious. That's all. I guess it doesn't matter if you're officially diagnosed or not. The degree of success in your life depends to an extent on your environment and how you deal with things in general. We all want to be accepted who we are, want to be understood. I guess what i'm saying is, it's not always the diagnosis that give you success in life. Sometimes it's the strength within yourself, and the opportunities you may or may not get in life that sets the difference. But if you think an official diagnosis is going to help you in this process i say go for it, and don't let anyone stop you.

I'm not for labeling people. Not at all actually. It's stupid, because people are not made to divided into boxes. You are who you are. And yet, i had to lable myself with this diagnosis. Why? because i thought i would find myself with it, and thought people (and even myself) could maybe understand me better if things were written down. Could starting to take me more serious. And i must say that it did exactly that a little bit for me. I do feel a little bit stronger and more secure knowing that there are names for things. It's not easy, but maybe we are the pioneers for a next generation. Maybe, if we women speak up, and empower ourselves, people will see, and diagnosing and treatments would be a lot easier in the future. That is my hope, and that is what i'll be fighting for.

So guess what?! i'm now working very hard to be a spokes-woman on autism. I do all these courses, and projects and starting to form my own formats to be the best women-with-autism-experience-expert there is. Helping to get more awareness about autism on girls and women. There is a lot of work to do here! I'm taking control over my own life and my disabilities. People who see me, they better gonna have to take me serious. Because sh*t just got real! Sow uhmm, that's my story a little bit. Just standing up and stepping forward to my believes. Nothing more, nothing less

@Dutchy, that was amazing! So many more people need to read that and believe in that. I believe that AS does not define us--in fact, for me, knowing I had AS made me so much stronger, because I had a reason for why I felt so different from others. And it helped me build strategies for dealing with my life more efficiently. But growing up, there wasn't anything noticeably odd about me--I was sweet, sensitive, quiet, shy--nothing totally unusual, which is why I didn't get diagnosed until adulthood, when I was dealing with a stressful period in my life (unemployment; a relationship breakup).

I found out I had AS totally by a freak accident. Previously I'd been diagnosed with everything from lactose intolerance to ADD to social anxiety to depression. They all described a part of the problem but not the whole thing. Then I saw an episode of the show America's next Top Model, where one of the contestants had it, and I thought, "wow, she's just like me." I read a little bit, but it didn't seem like me, and then I read a bit about AS in women and felt as though it was describing my life--the sensory sensitivity, the emotional sensitivity (and insensitivity), the meltdowns, the social problems, the school problems--everything kind of clicked into place, and I got an official diagnosis in the fall of 2008, right before I turned 25. And I'm lucky that I've had the support of my family along the way; so many people don't get that.

Aahw thanks LucySnowe! I'm amazed you read my whole storie!



Do you happen to mean cycle 9 from ANTM? when a girl named Heather Kuzmich had almost won the race? Because i thought she was amazing! So gorgeous! She just owned that whole cycle! I loved her! I really thought she should have won the match. By far! But she's doing alright now, having a top model career and all! Good for her!

I was lucky enough to have a nursery teacher that knew the signs of autism. The educational psychologist had a look at me and referred to a specialist who could assess me. After a while (I'm guessing a month or so of regular appointments) I was diagnosed with autism. It got changed to AS when I went to primary school. That's about it, really. Like I said, I'm very lucky.

Dutchy that really was beautiful. Thank you!! !

Aahw you're welcome!

Thank you...
This is all very interesting, inspiring, encouraging!
Please keep them coming. It is fascinating how each individual journey can differ and we help each other not only by knowing the "bumps along the road" but also the triumphs and feelings we encounter along the way. Reactions of others is yet another part of the equation to filter in, and much of that affects us as well. The female perspective is definitely different, and each story unique - I am thankful to learn from each journey.

On a side note, I think Nicole Fox, a winner from one of the other seasons of ANTM is also Autistic.

I frequent a Doctor Who Message Board and I used to frequent it a lot more than I do now. They have a section for non-Doctor Who topics and one of the threads was about Autism. I read it and was drawn in, I could relate to some of the things that were said so I researched Autism online and through my local libraries books.

I reviewed my life with Autistic glasses and everything began to fall into place. I wasn't just one weird person in the world, I was on the Autistic spectrum. I diagnosed myself.

I'd done well in school, roughly average in college but was very quiet, didn't date, preferred to be alone a lot, needed quiet. I knew I was different but... I hadn't understood why or entirely how, that is, at one point my train would jump the track while others seemed to stay on track.

I got a book that I liked and gave it to my mom asking her to read it and tell me what she thought. I think she was in denial. She told me that I was fine, I was just shy and that was okay.

For my own peace of mind I decided to try to find a professional to diagnose me, or not so that if I was diagnosed it would prove the idea that I was Autistic was not just a flight of fancy, a fad, it wasn't just all in my head.

I found a professional and told her up front why I was there. For some reason, and somehow, she never attempted to diagnose me, give me any tests, and seemed almost coy at times when I tried to pursue testing. Her attitude seemed to be that I was a smart person with a good head on my shoulders, there was nothing wrong with me. Finally after about 6-9 months of no progress I just stopped going to her.

For a while I was discouraged and did nothing. Then I mustered the oomph to try again. I hit the jackpot. I explained to the professional why I was there. She took me seriously from the beginning and gave me tests for the first 2 or so office visits. She diagnosed me with Aspergers. Woo hoo! It was a relief! So much of my behaviors and past made sense now. And my mom couldn't say I was JUST shy anymore.

We began to talk more and more about Autism, discussing things from the past when I was a child, a teen, etc. and she began to realize that thinking of my behaviors, preferences really fit the Autism patterns.

Now, knowing it is or can be genetic, we've realized my mother is on the spectrum, as is her 95 year old mother (my grandmother) and we think the Autism came from my grandmother's mother (my great grandmother). We've also been able to make sense of a story in our family about my great grandmother's sister.

The story goes that my great grandmother's sister would go down by the river and scream (this was likely the mid 1800's) and she may have been in a hospital of sorts (for the mentally unwell) because they were afraid she was going to jump in the river and drown. She stayed with her sister, my great grandmother, for a while because she was overwhelmed by her marriage. Eventually, after seeing my great grandparents fighting, etc. she realized things weren't as bad as she thought and she went back to her husband. We think it was very likely she was Autistic and she was doing her best to cope with things she didn't understand.

how interesting! Looking back at my family history, there's a chance that my grandmother has it too, combined with depression. She unfortunately has dementia now, but there was a lot in her behavior during her lucid years that make me think she might have had AS, too--her stone-cold reaction to my grandfather's death, the way she treated my mom and her siblings throughout their lives... which they've all been resentful for, because she seemed to be emotionally cold. She never wanted to be a wife or mother, which was a pretty common expectation in the 1950s, and she seemed to be overwhelmed by her responsibilities. But she had this need for routine, weird control habits, and other pieces of the puzzle that make me think that the picture on the box might be AS.

It’s so sad but interesting to see how much potential there was back then for people with AS to end up in asylums, because people just didn’t have the knowledge we do now.

I still don't have a diagnosis. Like you all said, it's much harder as a woman to be recognized as aspies, so I want to go straight to a specialist and it's a bit expensive. My parents will have to pay for it and I'm pretty scared on having to tell them I think I'm on the austistic spectruum. I mean, probably not news they would want to hear.
They will deny it for sure and tell me I'm completely normal, that it's just my low self-steem again and I have to stop thinking there's something "weird" about me.
I went to a psychologist once because of problems I had like social isolation, odd behaviour, low self-steem etc, I got a few sessions but I just sat there on the couch without looking at her and didn't say anything. In the end the psychologist assured my mother "There's nothing wrong with her, she's just shy".
So, how was it you girls told your parents? Seems like a hard work to do.

I still don't have a diagnosis. Like you all said, it's much harder as a woman to be recognized as aspies, so I want to go straight to a specialist and it's a bit expensive. My parents will have to pay for it and I'm pretty scared on having to tell them I think I'm on the austistic spectruum. I mean, probably not news they would want to hear.
They will deny it for sure and tell me I'm completely normal, that it's just my low self-steem again and I have to stop thinking there's something "weird" about me.
I went to a psychologist once because of problems I had like social isolation, odd behaviour, low self-steem etc, I got a few sessions but I just sat there on the couch without looking at her and didn't say anything. In the end the psychologist assured my mother "There's nothing wrong with her, she's just shy".
So, how was it you girls told your parents? Seems like a hard work to do.