Rant about sexism

Post Reply New Topic

I have a gender neutral brain. I was born a women but I do not feel like one. I don't feel like anything.

It infuriates me when people suggest that because I have a female body I must fit the stereotypes placed on the female sex. Or when they suggest MOST women do fit the stereotype and I'm just weird when I try to tell them they're wrong about stereotyping HALF OF THE HUMAN RACE.

No I wouldn't make a good teacher because I'm a women! I would be a terrible teacher BECAUSE MY PERSONALITY AND SKILLS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SEX.

Sometimes I think that I'm sick of being a women and that I don't want to be one anymore. Then I realize that I only feel that way because of the way other people treat and speak about women. I'm really disgusted with the way people can easily think of a different group as "other" and generalize about their thoughts and behaviors. I've never felt a need to do that, why do they?

Sexism is even built into most languages. We shouldn't be constantly referring to each other based on our genitals or gender identities. If you replace the words he and she with what they really mean it becomes ridiculous!

The person with the penis said....
The person with the vagina did....

I mean really? Why do we feel the need to constantly reference which genitals some one has when speaking about them!

I think people with ASD's don't think in this way as much as NT's do. I find it incomprehensible how NT society works. Does anyone else feel this way? Also D: sorry for the rant, I couldn't contain it.

Sorry. I'm an Aspie who happens to agree with having gender-specific language, so I can't identify with you on this.

I take it you're not French, Spanish or German then. They have gender specific words for "the" depending on whether the object is masculine, feminine or neuter. That's something I can't get my head round, I end up using the wrong le, la, der, die, das, el etc.

I had lots of male teachers. Why are people telling you to become a teacher because you're female.

I've never really felt like I was expected to be anything other than what I am. I've ended up working in a male dominated industry. I was the only female on my college course. Pursue the career you want to.

I am going to give you examples of certain ladies I feel inspire me, despite me being a man. These are mostly heroes from
women in the army, To a lady who invented the word radioactivity. I think these women are simply amazing.
I've been wondering if these links would ever get to be shared, I hope they help.

For her service to the Motherland, Tank Driver Mariya Oktyabrskaya would be awarded the Gold Star of the Hero of the Soviet Union, the highest award for military bravery offered by the USSR.


Badass - Mariya Oktyabrskaya

Jeanne Hachette
This teenage woman defended an entire village with a hatchet. In medieval times, you can imagine
this being a lot more difficult for a lady to do. Her king was so impressed, he made her boyfriend
(her chosen lover according to wikipedia) marry her!

Baddass - Jeanne Hachette
Wikipedia on Jeanne Hachette

Rukhsana Kauser
" I had never touched a rifle before this, let alone fired one -
but I had seen heroes firing in films and I tried the same way. Somehow I gathered courage."
Defended her family against 6 heavily armed terrorists, and killed their leader with his own gun,
and sent his thugs running.

Badass - Rukhsana Kauser

Dramatization.

Marie Curie.
Mad Scientist, but also laid the seeds for both kemo-therapy and nuclear physics. She not only
invented the word radioactivity, but never patented any of her research. She never
even wore protective lead suits. Her house is so radioactive, you have to wear protective
gear to read her cookbooks.

Badass - Marie Curie

St. Olga of Kiev
Burns 20 dignitaries alive, becomes saint of Orthodox Christianity.
At this point i'll let you read for yourself.

Badass - St. Olga of Kiev



The Badass- [name here] are the links to their dramatized stories.
I know the Badass of the Week website in particular may not be the most appropriate website for how you feel,
but I hope these stories of amazing women inspire you and lighten up your mood.
Sorry if we men have contributed to the feelings you are having.

My neighbor decided to suggest career choices to me. I never asked for her opinion and honestly she's a very judgmental and stupid person. She suggested I should become a teacher because "women make good teachers". I also keep hearing people talking about women in demeaning ways based on how they look and I find that very frustrating.

I just needed to vent, I get frustrated with this kind of stuff sometimes. I think it probably has a lot to do with being pretty gender neutral in a world where most people aren't and don't expect others to be.

Last edited by Makar on 11 Feb 2014, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks, I already feel better :3
I'm not upset at men though just to clear, but thanks for being supportive, I appreciate it.

You may appreciate this short essay, OP, if you haven't already come across it:

http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~evans/cs655 ... urity.html

Thank you, this is excellent.

I get tired of how some people want to treat people in certain ways or assume to know the type and max capacity of their aptitudes or level of human rights just because of their sex.

My grandfather would let my brother play with his tools, wood, nails, etc and tinker, but when I wanted to play with them and learn to use them, he would take them away and tell me I wasn't allowed to play with them or learn to use them, the only reason for my not being allowed to was that I was a girl. It really ticked me off so much my blood would 'boil' with anger. I never had a good relationship with him. He was so rigid with his sex biased views.

Yes, this exactly. I'm sorry that your grandfather discriminated against you, it was wrong of him to treat you that way.

One of my friends from high school graduated at the very top of our class. She could have gotten into any school she wanted, her grades were nearly flawless. She decided to go to highly regarded IT school and major in computer sciences and programming. For her entire there she's been informed by various people that the only reason she got in is because she's a women. Nothing could be further from the truth and I think it really damages her already low self esteem to hear people say this to her.

For some reason your story reminded me of this, sorry if it's a bit unrelated.

I agree. I hate it too.

Thank you sooo much! I am also a female Aspie, and I feel the exact same way. I consider myself to have both masculine and feminine traits although I am biologically female.

I also cannot stand sexist scenarios against men or women, which is why I enjoy conversations about LGBTQ a lot.

I also identify as gender neutral and have always used gender neutral language, despite being biologically female.
Because I'm physically very feminine looking people tend to assume that I am a stereotype, or that my social ditziness stems from my sex.
I've always hated being referred to as a woman, girl, as a lady, etc. I never really understood why it irked me so much until I discovered the term 'gender neutral'.
Growing up, my mother and maternal grandmother always tried to force femininity on me, and I always struggled with it. I was always expected to be a 'lady' or something.
This is especially true because of how 'feminine' I look, being slender and whatnot. It was just expected of me. They'd tell me I should be lucky for having a chest and other features.
But I always felt like it made me a target and it subjected me to unwanted attention and harassment from the males in my class, and older males. It was just an unpleasant time of my life.

I'm in University now. I've noticed that people tend to underestimate my intelligence and that people have a tendency to infantalize me.
I notice that sometimes I act the part because it's just what I grew up trying to imitate. I used to have a lot of male friends, but I now feel like they were my friends because I was just seen as silly and childlike.
I was always a bit gullible, overly honest, and very ditzy in simple social situations. I feel like I'm a stranger in my own skin. Because I go to a relatively progressive University that is predominantly female I don't notice it
But when guys make passes at me or women point out things about my body, good or bad, I'm at that place again where I notice my biological sex and wish I was not female. It's not as bad as when I was in High School, though.
I am a science student and recently I had a male business student lecture me on the importance of science, as if I did not understand the importance of science myself, because I made a passing comment on how dull a lab report I had been working on was.
This really bothered me, and happens too frequently.

People just don't understand this.
I feel like an alien.

I think that Aspies, both female and male, don't internalize the social expectations of what our gender "should" be like as much as NTs do. NTs absorb the social rules instinctivly and thus don't notice or think about them, and while it's an advantage for them from day-to-day, it means that they incorporate a lot of rather silly rules and norms into their ideas of themselves without even noticing it.

Since Aspies have to pick up the rules the hard way, by noticing each and every one, we can sometimes stop and say, "Hey, that doesn't make any sense," or "Hey, that doesn't fit who I am."

Maybe.
I have an Aspie male friend who people consider rather feminine, although he's a big guy and doesn't look partifularily feminine.

With me, it took a while to get into the habit of wearing girl clothes, shaving, wearing a bra, that sort of thing. I also used to talk openly about menstrating and other topics not considered socially approptiate in the presence of men. But for me it was as normal as anouncing that I have a cold. My mother and maternal grandmother really hated it and didn't understand. My mother wanted me to begin dieting, wearing women's clothes, wearing make up. I didn't really start dressing feminine until I graduated High School. I've never had body issues, I have always felt content with the way I look. I don't think about it much. I still often forget that I am a woman. I wonder if this is common in the community?

That's because being a woman is not something will feel. It's a fact.
I would say that you don't feel like people wants you to feel like (meaning all stereotypes about women). I think. At least, that's how I feel.

There is a lot of sexism against men too : some guys just wants to be a stay-at-home father and in our society thinks it's weird.
The worst people are those who fight sexism for their sex and are sexist for the other… I just don't get it.

NT does not seem to see the problem of sexism : "Yeah but if most women are like that, it's easier to assume that every women are like that. Anyway, you're clearly not a woman".
But yes I'm a woman, even if I don't act or think as most women.

Is it me or a lot of autists tend to think of themselves as gender neutral more than NT?