how to have a style? what is yours?

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Hey girls!
Basically I just wear jeans shorts and t-shirt with flip-flop style shoes, which is considered basic basic wearing. My NT best friend is not a fashion girl but she has a "I have lots of secret but I won't tell you" kind of style, and I asked her what my style said and she answered: "don't talk or look at me, I want to be invisible". Well, that made me very sad because I know it is true and it affected my self-steem. She said people may not talk to me because they see me as just plain and not interesting based on my looks (I know it may not be fair but that's how it works so)
I read in the aspergirl book that it is common for aspergirls to "wash and wear" but that we eventually find a style that match our personality. I too want a style that says I am an interesting, quirky and inteligent person with a unique personality that is worth knowing. I feel this could be a majot turning point in my self-steem and also help me with friends and date.
So, what do I do to find my style? Also, how did you girls find your style? What is it you wear?

I actually have as well the wash and wear sneakers+jean+shirt style. But about your question, how to transform to another style, I think most NT girls will simply look in magazines or fashion catalogues, puppets before shops, for models wearing the stuff that gives them the impression they seek, and then try to copy that cloth-style.

So if you see a photograph with someone wearing cloths that let you think "Thats cool, thats what I would like to look like." you can take that as pattern.

My favourite way:

1) Go to a clothes shop, preferably a department store.

2) Do this in the morning or in a place with lots of changing rooms, so there's no queue waiting for you.

3) Grab a big bunch of clothes with colours that go together e.g. brown and cream, blue and orange - whatever takes your fancy.

4) Try them all on. Give clothes a try that you think you would look hideous in too. That way you get to find out whether you really do look hideous in them, and it also gives you more choices as to what you dislike so you know for sure what you like.

5) Layer up the clothes too.

6) You get great ideas from the shop display windows from the dummies they put there.

Skinny jeans and hoody for me, or long sleeve tshirt. Oh and Converse.

Doesn't vary from that.

WALMART!!

Maybe a good place to start would be to replace the flip flops with some nice sandals. If you tend to buy neutral t shirts (I know I do), you could look for ones with interesting patterns, colors, or embellishments. If you do some online window shopping, as it were, you could save pictures of things that appeal to you, and if you have enough you may start to notice certain patterns emerging, such as being attracted to a certain color, pattern, cut, or general esthetic. Hope this helps!

My style just started to develop recently. I figured out that I'm the type of person who likes dying their hair several different colors, wearing jeans that are a little snug, combat boots, graphic tees, the whole "rebellious" thing. I do have a lot of relaxed clothes that I wear when I don't feel like being so loud, but I try not to be bland anymore.

I tend to like very deep colors, dark blue or black jeans, ankle boots or sneakers. Relatively loose and easy to move in, though the top can be more fitted. I'm a little busty, so I need a top that nips in at the waist a little or I look fatter than I am. I grew up in Portland during the grunge era, so my style is still pretty relaxed.

The most unusual thing about my style is that my hair is really long, and I like to wear it in two braids that lie very close together down my back. I've only ever seen one other person who wears their hair like that. I also have several piercings in each ear, though I don't always wear rings in all of my holes.

One of the most 'stylish' women I've ever known was a woman who grew up on a commune; they hadn't ever bought 'new' or 'current fashion' clothes, and she still shopped mostly at second-hand stores, but she always got interesting things and combined them in ideosyncratic but synchronous ways. She also liked to dye her hair red with henna, and had lots of piercings in her ears too. Her style wasn't flashy at all, but it was very interesting.

I also wear comfortable clothes (although I do like my jeans reasonably snug but stretchy - if they're baggy they chafe more) and comfortable shoes. The shirts I wear range from semi-form-fitting lightweight fleece (in the winter) to semi-form-fitting button-up shirts (like Hawaiian or western or camp shirts) in the summer to baggy sweatshirts and tees, depending on whether I want to dress up or not (the baggy one are, obviously, "not-dressed-up" mode).

My only "style" comes from the fact that I've always worn my hair very long (usually around waist-length), it's very healthy and shiny, my fingernails grow easily and are strong, so they're long enough to look feminine (I have to trim them at least every couple of weeks or I can't type), I wear a bit of makeup to emphasize my eyes and cheekbones, and I have two piercings in each earlobe and always wear earrings when I'm out in public.

Honestly, I think most of my "style" or lack thereof comes from my demeanor. When I'm feeling good about life, I have good posture and walk with confidence. When life is beating me down, I slouch and carry myself more tentatively.

I see you're from Brazil, where a woman's style is oh-so-important!

Aside from your current "uniform" of T-shirt, shorts and flip flops, what do you like and feel comfortable in?

What colors do you like? What textures?

What are your interests?

Do you like jewelry? Styled hair, makeup, nails...? (not do you wear it, but do you like it)

You could do billowy silk or cotton voile dresses, loose hair or braided, leather flip flops instead of rubber, Aviators, a chunky wooden bangle, and a B-I-G leather handbag (omg you Brazilian girls and your bags!)

You could use the same hairstyle and accessories with a short jeans skirt and camisole-style top.

In the US, the trend is toward a sloppy braid, whether it's a French braid, fishtail/Herringbone braid, or "regular" plait.

If you have ethnic hair, right now in the US the trend is to go natural rather than processed.

I LOVE the pin-up look, but don't wear it to work. I compromise by wearing skirts and making an effort to look "classic" or "polished" with out looking too overtly feminine, as I am one of 4 women in a department 25-30 men, most of whom are married. I don't want their wives thinking I'm available, as I must often travel with my male coworkers.

I have long hair that's usually in a ponytail or plait, then put up in a hair clip.

I often wear bracelets, and usually wear some kind dangle earrings...I really like a vintage-looking brand called 1928, but I also like other styles as well.

I usually wear 2 to 3 inch heels (5 to 7.5 cm), unless I go into the field (work outside the office, usually in peoples' homes). Then I need to wear jeans and work boots, with a jacket that identifies my employer. (Think in terms of what someone who works for an electric or water company might wear.)

As it is now early spring here, if I'm wearing a denim skirt, I usually pair it with brightly colored tights. If I'm wearing a twill or corduroy skirt, the tights are *probably* more traditionally colored (just because it looks better).

For the most part, my clothes in some way reflect my interests, among them: 40's "Big Band" music, advertising memorabilia and "pin up" art.

It's not so much a style as it is an assortment of various clothes I bought on impulse that were clean that day. I dress very lazily.

Thanks for the answers everyone! This was really helpful. I am already trying the new strategies.

Jeans and black stretchy cotton tops. I didn't realise how much I wear black tops till a friend of mine said, "I'm cold in this blouse. Do you think I could layer it up with one of those black tops you always wear. Would it look good?" I thought, Oh my word, I must always be wearing a black top when she sees me.

I am a bit lazy. I don't like goint to shops. I like to look through brands websites to see what combinations of clothes they put together and look on ebay to see what I can get cheap. I like buying second hand well made brands rather than cheap new things. I spend the same amount of money and it lasts longer and has a better fit.

I've noticed skinny jeans/trousers are in. I think a plain pair of trousers with a patterened top looks good. or patterned skinny jeans with a plain top. Or if you like plain tops, maybe go for one with studded or patterned embelishments around the neckline. Link to plain top with patternOr maybe a plain top with a loud patterned skirt. Or plain jeans, plain top and patterned jacket. I love these flowery jackets that are in fashion
If you look at the image of the model her clothes are plain but the jacket makes the statement.
Link to jacket
Yes I know Oasis, Warehouse and Coast are expensive, but I get their stuff off ebay cheaper.
I like this. It's a comfortable sweater, but with a pretty pattern going on
Link to Sweater

I don't like bangles or earrings either. I just end up removing them half an hour after I go out. I like large chunky necklaces that make a statement. I don't ever do anything with my hair than blow dry it straight. I'm just not good at that sort of thing. I've watched a few tutorials on youtube on ideas for hair and make up.

I like scarves, but they may be too warm for your part of the world. I wear my black tops and accessories with a different scarf to mix things up a bit. I so want this scarf:
scarf link

Belts can add something to an outfit. I would wear this with a plain long dress Link to belt

I think to find your own style you just kinda have to look at what you like from pictures in magazines/on blogs/on other people and incorporate that into the wardrobe you currently have (while being aware of whether or not you are actually comfortable in the clothes...it's always annoying when you have a specific item of clothing that you would like to wear but can't because you don't feel comfortable in it!)

Also be aware of money. If it isn't an issue for you, that's fine, but if -like me- you don't have a lot of money and you want to get a significant amount of clothes I'd go to charity shops (thrift shops in America) instead of high-street stores. If you are fine with wearing other people's clothes that is. It just means that instead of getting one top with a tenner, you can get three tops, a shirt and a pair of jeans (for example).

As for myself, I flick between hyper-masculine (blazers, leather jackets, men's brogues, men's shirts, jumpers) and very feminine (head scarves, floral dresses, glittery stuff...) depending on my mood. And shopping at charity shops allows me to do this because they always have such a variety of clothes!

So sometimes I'll wear this and other times this.

tldr; it's not always necessary to have a specific style! You can have many different ones

I really don't have a certain style. I wear what every is comfortable and the colors match. I will wear men's clothes. I dislike shirts that have too short of sleeves. The sleeves should be no less then 1 inch from the crease of my elbow. My pants or jeans should fit in length and not be too long or too short. I dislike dresses. They normally require wearing panty hose which I really dislike. I've been told I have a certain style by others. I have been called polo woman and have been mistaken as a lesbian.