Shopping/ sensory issues and doing my hair.

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The more I look into it the more I realize I struggle and it's overwhelming. I hardly ever go grocery shopping, but my mom wanted help so I went and now I know why I don't like going shopping. I was getting overwhelmed to much stuff, to many lights to much noise. Is there anyone there who is high functioning that I could talk too- female. Starting to discover all this stuff and its like wow this makes a lot of sense but its still overwhelming. I felt like crying today because my mom was like you didn't wash your hair properly and I was like what and apparently I hadn't washed all the soap out of my hair and I was getting frustrated with myself why is it so hard for me to do simple stuff like wash my hair. Then brushing it and drying it seems hard. I honestly don't care how I look but my mom does so its annoying and sometimes I'm like what's the big deal? I don't know does anyone have experience with this?

Yes I hate shopping and I am a hygiene failure. But I also live independently in the world and do not want to give up my independent living. Therefore I have to find solutions, work-a-rounds, and coping mechanisms.

Shopping: 1. I do most my shopping online for non-food stuff. 2. Sometimes you actually have to go to a store, then I wear sunglasses inside, I wear headphones with rock music to cover up the speaker, and I have an itemized list. Then I get a reward of hot tea when I get home.

Hygiene: It just takes me longer than most people to do a simple shower. I generally look sloppy in jeans and tee shirts and a loose braid, but I do have to do professional presentations sometimes, so on those times I make a point to look nice.
1. Have a water-proof list of steps that you need to do to shower in the order they need to be completed. 2. To make sure that I get my hair rinsed out I have a shower head that is on long tube, so I can bring the shower head to my head and slowly rinse out my hair from front to back, side to side with the water coming out only an inch from my hair. 3. I shower at least 2x/week.

Hair brushing, I brush my hair wet after spraying it with a leave in de-tangling conditioner, then I braid it wet and let it dry overnight in the braid. I have a low maintenance hair style. For nice occasions I have 2 go-to hair dos. Ask a hair stylist for help in determining a good low maintenance look for your face, and for 1-2 dressy hair styles with your hair length/style.

Thanks... ya I just picked up a pair of sunglasses that cover up my glasses and I have been finding them really helpful when I am overstimulated by light. Though today I forgot to put them in my purse so when I tried to find them they weren't there which made me more overwhelmed. ( I misplace stuff all the time.) Music is a good idea, I do that a lot when I am alone. Though I was it my mom and she wouldn't have liked that. I don't live by myself I live with my parents even though I wish I could be independent but it seems hard for me to do the things that normal people my age do. Cooking, cleaning, laundry.

Ya that would be good to get some steps about showering. I think a lot of times I get so focused on the shower itself I forget to wash my hair properly. I find the warm water on my skin calming and tend to lose track of time and next thing I know my mom is banging on the door trying to get me to come out so I end up washing my hair really fast.

Girl, yes. I HATE shopping too. If I go shopping I prefer to go BY MYSELF. I try and avoid malls at their busiest and I go with a list so that I spend as little time in the store as possible.

When it comes to hygeine I have done it all: worn my shirt inside out, not washed off soap off my face properly, not smoothed in face cream completely, not brushing the gel all the way in my hair....MY mum used to give me grief about stuff like that all the time. She was a real girly girl who loved hair, makeup, clothes and so on. She used to harass me ALL the time about what I was wearing and stuff when I was a teen. As a teen it doesn't matter TOO much how you care for your appearance because your peers don't really JUDGE you per se on that. But, when you are an adult, appearance counts especially for work. If it wasn't for her I probably would have put a LOT LESS into my appearance and appearance IS important whether we care about it or not. Your mum is probably just trying to get you to care because in real life people do judge one another by these things which are a hassle to do, maintain, etc. I am not TOTALLY into all the hair, makeup, clothes and stuff and put the barest minimum into my daily appearance but I try and keep things to a minimum.

I totally know how you feel that daily hygeine tasks seems so hard. It does for me too. Washing my hair is easy but then I groan when I have to dry it. If I have friends who talk about their beauty routines I ask them how can they stand spending so much time on all that. The look at me like but of course that's what you have to do. LOL

Oh I hate drying my hair. Ya maybe I should check with some women for tips. One girl showed me how to put on makeup took me forever to do and I feel so weird putting it on when I have a hard enough time doing basic stuff.

I really love being clean so the washing is fine now that l live alone, it just takes really long.

I START with my hair so I don't forget (otherwise I mess up) - then I can enjoy the rest

for style, I air dry and I have my stylist give me a cut which works best for it (especially now as I am older and the hair is thinner) - I also just don't wear makeup.


for shopping I try to avoid any time it is crowded, noise and crowds freak me out and I just want to run people over with my cart while screaming. So I make a list, keep to it, know the store and run straight through it.

I never dry my hair. I braid it wet and let it dry on its own.

My shower routine is
1 get hair wet
2 apply shampoo
3 rinse hair
4 apply conditioner
5 soap body
6 shave armpits (and occassionally legs)
7 brush teeth
8 wash face
9 rinse hair
10 get out.

I shower myself daily, but never had the idea to wash as well the hair every day? O_o

I´d simply go for a showercap (There is a reason, why they are invented. I only do hairwashing every 2-3 days, depending on the looks of it and time amount I have. For hair drying, I simply use the hot fan in my car and set it on my upper body. So when I get into work, they are dry.

You only need to wash your hair everyday if you workout or if it is very oily. Every 2-3 days is fine for many people.

Personal facts:
I know I need to shower every day. I know I need to shower after every workout. But sometimes the idea of shampooing, conditioning, using bodywash, using facewash (I use my facewash on the shower, otherwise I'll likely miss some of the facewash when rinsing) seems like too much. Especially after working out, in part because it's a lot of bottles to mess with in a gym shower. For those times, I use children's bodywash/shampoo combo stuff. Apple scented, if you're curious.


I do that too. In part, because I really don't like the feel of using conditioner- in my hands or against my scalp.


That's why I wash my face in the shower. I wash my entire face with facewash, glance in my shower mirror to be sure I really got everywhere, then stand under the showerhead to rinse it all off. Sometimes if my skin needs it, and I have the time, and I can deal with the feel, I'll use a face mask before stepping into the shower to rinse it off as part of my shower. If it weren't for my shower mirror though, I'd miss some of the face mask.


Regular hairdryers are too loud, and have two settings- too hot, and never going to dry. I had a dryer that worked for me for a long time. It wasn't too loud, it had a good temperature setting. It had an attachment for straightening hair. I'd use it whenever I was getting dressed up. Sadly a couple of the teeth in the straightening attachment broke off, and I haven't seen that exact brand and model for sale lately. Very hesitant to try a different one for the reasons previously mentioned. Right now it doesn't matter, as I brought in pictures and talked my hair cutter into giving me a cut that looks styled when all I did was air dry it.

This morning was brutal. We had to get dressed up to get a picture taken for our church directory , was not impressed but anyways. So woke up tried to shower properly which worked ok. Attempted to put makeup on but got it all over and my mom had to help me clean it up so it look presentable. Than my mom had to straighten out my clothes and dry and brush my hair. Yes I can dry and brush my hair myself but we were in a rush and she wanted me to look good so she did it, made me so anxious. I had to watch what I wore because some shirts are itchy. Then when took the picture I was getting more anxious because the photographer a guy was touching me to move me in the right positive, I tend to over do stuff like if he said raise chin I would raise it too much, etc. It was really frustrating, than he convinced me to buy stuff even though I wasn't planning on it but have a hard time saying no, and had a really hard time making decisions on the photos.

Also talked to my parents and we had got coffee and I was so shaky I was spilling it, and than talked to my mom about being clumsy and she is like ya you were as a kid but some people just develop motor skills at different rates. Its interesting they noticed that and never told me, apparently my first time at camp at age 8 I got food all over me but my mom was like you eat fast that's probably why but I still spill stuff on myself all the time. I'm such a clutz its frustrating, it's ok as a kid but as an adult it's not normal. People have to tell me what to do and exactly what to do or I end up doing it wrong and that frustrates me because I'm trying my hardest and I feel like my hardest is never good enough. I had to put on sunglasses yesterday because the lights were bothering me. Load noises bother me, I get startled easy. Like I never though I had Asperger's but now really thinking I am because what I've read is pointing to what I've been going through. I almost brought it up with my parents but was afraid to because I don't want them to blame themselves for not getting me diagnosed earlier, when I was young I was better able to hide stuff, the social inability and stuff because I was intelleigent plus everyone gives kids more leeway.

Do you mean you got the powder everywhere? I wrap a towel around my neck/chest when I put powder on if I'm already in my outfit.

Well do that sometimes too, but I tried to put on mascara and eye liner and eye shadow, and it was a mess because of sensory issues, I blink really easily if stuff close to my eyes so mascara and me not a good idea it ends up on my nose and then my fine motor coordination isn't that good so the eye liner tends to end up in the wrong spot or too thick.

Ah! Yes. I know how that is. I find it's a lot easier with liquid liner than with a pencil. Bonus to liquid liner: if you catch the smudges quick, you can wipe them right off with a q-tip. As for mascara, when I first started using it, I had to actually hold my eye open and prop the elbow of the hand holding the wand against the sink to help stabilize that arm. I still sometimes need to do that, but mostly not. I guess I got better with practice.

When I do bother lining my eyes, I don't go all the way around. I saw a technique in a modelling book back in middle school that was supposed to make your eyes look wider. I decided to give it a go, and haven't changed the way I do my eyes since. Everybody compliments my eyes when I do them, and I've had a lot of women ask me how. I end up drawing them the same diagram I saw in that book all those years ago. Still, I don't typically bother with eye makeup.

I did a lot of theater, so I had to either learn to do eyes myself or let someone else do them. It was way more of a problem for me to let someone else do them.

Oh ya me too way harder if someone else does it cause I blink even more, most people give up trying to do it, one girl that recently taught me didn't give up and I was grateful but I think makeup is overrated anyways to much effort to put in may wear it once in a while if want to dress up.

I dislike shopping, too.

I shop for groceries and transact business at off hours, or shop online. I hate trying on clothes, and am very happy they introduced "tagless" clothing.

Unless I have spilled something on myself, am menstruating, or have had something like food poisoning wreak havoc upon my digestive "output", I bathe twice a week and I wash my hair once a week. I may shower instead of bathe mid-week, but I wash my hair in the bath on the weekend. I like the "mermaid" feeling of having my hair float in the water, and I can make sure to get out all the shampoo and creme rinse.

The human race survived for millennia before the social conventions of daily bathing/showering and shampooing were introduced. I'm certain I'll survive quite well by bathing twice a week.

Touching my hair is the same thing as touching any other part of me, and as a general rule I do not like other people to touch me. It isn't that I don't like being touched; it's that they do not know me well enough to take that liberty with my person. So, letting someone else touch my hair is usually going to be a no-go. I'd rather have the shampoo/conditioner in there, thank you very much.

I find it helpful to add "check for ___" as one of the final steps in my routines.

I enjoy cosmetics.

You don't *have* to wear mascara or eyeliner just because you applied other cosmetics. Depending upon your skin, make up artists are now advising women who are prone to dark under-eye circles and women who have wrinkles to NOT apply mascara to the lower lashes.

If you like mascara and want to play around with applying it, you will get better results if you use an eyelash curler and invest in a magnifying mirror. I prefer the "lash separator" style mascara applicators, and I dislike the curved brush type. The mascara which consistently receives the best consumer ratings is Great Lash by Maybelline; it also happens to be inexpensive, as such things go.

If you're having difficulty with pressed powder eye shadow & blush, try the cremes...which can be applied with a fingertip.

If your motor skills don't allow you to use your fingertip, you may achieve better results with any eye shadow--creme or powder--if you try a sponge-tipped applicator on a 6" to 8" handle instead of the short little applicators which are typically included with eye shadow powder.

If you really, really like eyeliner/brow liner, yet can't tolerate the pencils, you can use dark eye shadow instead of liner pencils.

For eyeliner: using an angled brush with a 6" to 8" handle, apply the dark eye shadow along the lash line to the outer 2/3 of your upper eyelid (or, from the inner side of your pupil to the outer edge of your eye).

For brow liner: using a regular eye shadow brush or sponge-tipped applicator, lightly brush the eye shadow into your eyebrow. The individual eyebrow hairs should "catch" the eye shadow. If you use eye shadow for this purpose, select matte eye shadow (colors that don't have glitter, sparkle, pearly or "frost" finishes).

If motor skills and palette are areas of concern for you, I suggest going with a natural or "no makeup" look. They're much more forgiving of boo-boo's than the "smoky eye" or "pinup" looks.

Using myself as an example: I'm a very fair skinned Caucasian woman (I have the complexion of a natural redhead and flush easily) and work in a conservative office, so I go opt the "no makeup" look.

For my "day" look, I use nude eye shadow on my lids and pastel/shell pink as a highlight just beneath my brow bone. Due to allergies in my eyes, I have to be careful which eyeliners I use but I *do* use eyeliner in either the pencil or liquid form.

I tend to look washed out, so I choose pale to mid-tone blusher and apply it lightly on the apples of my cheeks (the part that "rounds out" when you smile), and very, very lightly on the tip of my chin and my forehead. (For every day wear, I don't use the color selection and and techniques to give me more prominent cheekbones, slim my face, etc.)

I love, love, love lipstick. My favorite for day-long wear is CoverGirl "Outlast" lip color. It really does last all day, and no lip liner is required. It comes with clear lip gloss to re-apply throughout the day, as the long-wear formula tends to be drying. For work, I favor berry, mauve or neutral colors as peach and coral really do not look good on me. When not at work, I wear whatever suits my fancy!

My favorite eye makeup remover is CoverGirl "clean". It gets all the mascara off without making my eyes sting, and it works on the "Outlast" lipstick too!

Another reason I like CoverGirl: I can tolerate the fragrance.

You know what else? If you don't like or want to wear makeup, you don't *have* to. You're beautiful just the way you are!

Last edited by MissMaria on 08 Mar 2014, 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total.