I cant focus in "the moment"

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I have recently gotten into an amazing relationship with my dream guy. We are very close. I have never even had to explain my aspergers much, since he is open minded enough to consider it my personality. But on this subject, i think it might be a good idea to bring it up. I also have some hormonal imbalance that i think might be relavant. And let me just place a quick trigger warning for sexual content as well.

I consider myself on the verge of being asexual, since its really rare that i actually feel the need for physical contact. I have bad experience with it in the past, and i have major trouble seeing myself as a sexual being. I just dont feel sexy. Of course since our relationship took that turn, the simple fact that i turn him on has helped me a lot. Even though i dont have those feelings right now, i would love to have a proper functioning swx life with this guy. I find him to be the most beautiful human i have ever seen, but since he is slightly bony, he doesnt turn me on much. I am such an idiot for feeling that way, his personality should be what turns me on. But since he is kind of passive and wants me to make all the moves, i have a hard time pinning my sexuality to any interaction in particular. I really dont want this to be the end of it. We are both 19 btw, and have little to no sexual experience.

So, "the moment" that i feel distracted from is where he is on top of me, we are half naked and making out in his or my bed. He is always ready to shoot before im even realising what we are doing. I dont know whats wrong with me. I keep getting so cought up in negative thoughts about my body, and other irrelavant everyday things. My brain is one big cockblocker. I dont think he is ready either. He doesnt even seem to realise that he might have to touch me to turn me on, so i think going all the way is too much yet. How do guys watch porn, and still dont understand how to get a girl aroused???? That really baffles me.

So, why dont i just tell him all of this? Because i dont even understand his attraction to me in the first place. I doknt understand why he would want to touch me. I dont feel worthy of placing demands. Im afraid to be naked with him. Im also really scared that our emotional relationship cant handle bad times in our physical relationship. I know that this stuff takes patience, but i need to know how to deal with this problem before i shut off completely.