How can I tell if boys are insulting me or admiring me?

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I can usually tell very quickly when a man likes me, but I can never understand immaturity, so when I experience peculiar body language or sounds from boys, I never quite know if they are taking the mickey or are really admiring me because they think I look ''sexy'' or ''beautiful''. I am talking about strangers, not so much boys I know (although I don't know that many boys anyway, most men who are more mature and I can easily tell the difference between casual friendliness, flirting and taking the piss without anyone having to draw me a diagram.

Today I was walking through quite a busy town, and I passed two boys around a corner (aged around 14-17). The corner was a sharp corner so I didn't see them coming until I got to the corner, and vice versa. As they appeared, one of them said ''hubba bubba'' or something, but said it in quite a low, flat tone with no expression to it. I assumed it was aimed at me. I was looking rather attractive today, as it is a hot sunny day and I had my denim shorts on, white sandals, a nice trendy T-shirt, and sunglasses, and a stylish handbag that goes over my shoulder, and admittedly I did look really nice. Plus I'm slim, and I had straightened my hair this morning so it looked nice and glossy.

But with teenage boys, I can never tell if they are saying these things because I am ''a beautiful young woman'' coming towards them, or if they are taking the mickey for some reason. Usually I feel more confident when it's hot because I like the heat, so I walk better and hold myself better and I felt more encouraged by my own look when I saw myself in a shop window reflection. Do teenage boys have an odd way of expressing sexy thoughts about a woman? Should I be flattered, or offended?

Teenage boys: All hormones, no brains.

I don't think "taking the mickey or are really admiring me because they think I look ''sexy'' or ''beautiful'' is even something boys/men are capable of expressing at the same time. I mean, no man will "compliment" a woman in a "oh oh no it was just a joke" way.

If a guy says anything that implies "hubba hubba"/"tapping/slapping anything" then he meant it in the "sexy thought" way, it's either the girl/woman or his friends/peers that at that moment can agree or disagree to make him -claim- it was joke or not, but it wasn't when he said it.



You know what they mean, it's up to you to decide whether you want to feel flattered or offended by guys expressing their "sexy thoughts" towards you.

Teenagers are a conundrum. I never understood them. They act rude and antisocial, but they want to conform and please others. Don't get if. I knew a couple of boys that were like that towards me as well. I think they said stuff like that to me to throw me off guard, because I was pretty stuck up and prudish. I think they wanted to know if I was even capable of humour. But most of the time, it was harmless. Regardless, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, they need to know that. In my experience, just explaining nicely to these kids that this sort of thing makes you feel uncomfortable, they will listen. Well, some of them will be dicks about it for a while, but eventually they'll get a grip. I remember two of my bullies became two of my allies just because we patched up a misunderstanding about this.

Though, now that I'm an adult, I usually don't pay attention to what teenagers are doing. I just let it roll off my back. Hell, I don't pay attention to adults either. I just go on my way. But if you have to deal with that person, I suggest you take the above advise. They dont know if you don't tell them.

Let me put it to you this way. At 18, I was in a driver training class where all but one of the students was 15 or 16. There was an even split of boys and girls and there is a reason I sat with the girls. Boys at that age are downright awful to deal with in a mature fashion and that's the main reason I tried to befriend girls as a teenager (unsuccessfully). Don't take ANYTHING a boy that age says seriously: the decent ones like I was would NEVER make such comments out loud and it seemed like I was the only one who didn't have out of control hormones.

Comments appreciated. But I have been a self-conscious and sensitive person for years, and no matter what age people are, if I feel like somebody is taking the mickey out of me, I take it to heart and worry that I look weird. If it's teenage boys, I then think ''are they just saying things like that when they pass me, or are they just saying that to nearly every girl they pass?'' See, it's all about principle. I do tend to look at the things by the principle, not by the fact. I always think ''there must be a reason they said that to me as they passed''. Then I start looking for the reason by going into public toilets and looking at myself in the mirror and re-brushing my hair, etc. These boys didn't know it made me feel uncomfortable because I only passed them for like 2 seconds and I didn't even look at them. Maybe this sort of thing might not bother me when I'm in my 40's, but I do look young for my age and I still sometimes get teenage boys making silly noises at me. I used to get that s**t from teenage girls but I don't seem to any more. Perhaps in girl's eyes I look more my age and they leave me alone, but in boy's eyes I look like I'm still in my teens and they feel they can torment me and get away with it. Excuse me for being socially anxious, I can't help it.

I remember my mum used to know a woman in her early 40's who had cancer, and after she was better there was still all sore red and yellow blotches up her arm where she had the tumors, what she got quite sensitive about. On a really hot day she put some cream on her arm and went out in a T-shirt because it was too hot to wear anything with longer sleeves. Nobody really took much notice and her arm was healing quick so she began to feel more comfortable about it. Then a little kid, of about 5 or 6, suddenly yelled out, ''Mummy, that woman's arm is horrible!'' That got this woman upset, and she went to my house to see my mum and cried a little bit. And this was a small child who's comment she took to heart, but it still upset her. She said, ''I thought my arm was looking better, and I began to feel more confident, until this kid said that out loud.'' My mum had to explain that a lot of little kids often yell out socially inappropriate things without meaning to because they still have not learnt all the social cues, and that he probably didn't mean it at all, he was probably just curious. But the woman said that that's not the point, and that if a little kiddie noticed it, then others must have too. Maybe after having cancer it has made her feel more sensitive about it being randomly brought up when unexpected. So it's a bit like me with this sort of thing. I have been teased and laughed at to my face before and lots of other little things that don't do your self-esteem good, and so anything little thing can make me feel sensitive and self-conscious.

They are not thinking about you at all. They are just reacting to body parts

Personally, I'm not offended when that happens but it does annoy me. Mainly because I think it's rude, to me it's the same as seeing an ugly person and saying "ew gross". I think some guys think its a compliment, and it's probably meant to be one.

By the sounds of it, they were complimenting you. They're teenage boys though. Why would you care what they thought? You're not exactly trying to attract them.

It's not personal, most women get that treatment. If they're making fun of you they'll either laugh afterward or what they say will make it clear.

I totally understand you, I am also very sensitive and I feel bad if people mock me or are rude.
I can't tell exactly when they are being jerks either and I am very naive. when I meet a guy I don't know I always assume he is a jerk until he proves otherwise. Sorry but it has to be like that.
I HATE stupid sexual remarks. I try to look as unattractive as possible when walking outside to avoid those remarks. And some guys are damn freaky and scary and say aggressive things. I hate that so much I wanted to shoot them on the face.

I think it's a social group thing: young guys often do stuff like that in groups, when they say something like that they are saying to their friends "Look at me checking out that hot girl." I don't think they expected any response from you, or cared what you thought of it. It's a bit like how some groups of guys point out good looking girls to their friends, or the stereotype that construction workers whistle at passing ladies. It's a social dynamic between the boys, some sort of macho culture maybe.