single girls/women - please read these

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this information i'm sharing with you is crucial if any of you are thinking of dating. after i read these articles, they made me realize why it's best i should be single for life!

Spotting Bad Men
Why Handsome Men Make Bad Husbands I
Why Handsome Men Make Bad Husbands II

Last edited by ttqs84 on 06 Apr 2010, 6:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't think cynicism is the route to happiness. I want to be happy. I've come to terms that my happiness means more to me than dating and being in a relationship. But that doesn't mean I have to be cynical about it.

I don't see much value in the second and third articles myself, but I liked the first and can attest to a lot of things said there. I can say I've dated all of those, usually in combination in the same guy. And they will mess up you. I've had stalkers. I've had bad boyfriends. I've had bad boyfriends who turned into stalker when I try to dump them. I stopped dating after I broke off my engagement to a clinging, parent-seeking, mentally ill guy who had an hidden life. I couldn't put myself through that again. That was 14 years ago. I haven't dated since. I'm too drained, too wounded, too anxious, too broken, too fearful about being bled dry again. I don't know if I will ever be fit to date again. I have no confidence in myself anymore, not like I did when I was younger.

I am really bad about being attracted to emotionally unavailable, narcissistic men, the kind like that article says will string me along, toy with me, get my hopes up, and then pitch me into the middle of the road like roadkill when I ask for something in return from them.And I do it because that's the kind man my father was, and that's the kind of man my brother is. It's what I grew up around, and so I see it as normal in men, as too my patterns of self-sabotaging behavior when I'm around men like that. I can't trust my judgment of men when I'm attracted to them. I've at least learned the signs that I'm falling into old, unhealthy patterns when I find a guy attractive.

I don't know what the future holds for me. I still hold out hope that i can sort myself out enough to know what kind of guy I should be with and recognize a healthy, worthwhile man when I find one. I don't like the idea of growing old alone, although I'm almost 40 and right now, that pretty much looks like where I'm heading. I just have to remind myself it's not my fault. I can't beat myself up for the fact the men most critical in my personal development were so dysfunctional. I can be angry about it, and I am, because I believe their dysfunction is why i have be alone right now. It's not fair. But that's OK. Also long as I remember it's not my fault and I definitely deserve better, even if "better" means being on my own.

Are we talking about the standard of the word handsome, according to 2010, or are we talking about handsome men, in general?

when something mentions spam in the first line I think the OP doth protest too much!

Merle

Yes, and not only that, making grandiose pronouncements about the rest of your life is unrealistic, especially if they're based on something as flimsy as some article on the internet.

What utter nonsense!

Yes, there are bad men out there and yes, most of us will date or have dated one of them (or more) during our life.
Yes, handsome men will cheat, but also unhandsome men will as well.

However, these aren't good reasons never to date or take a chance on love, they are merely excuses. If you aren't interested in dating, then that is perfectly fine or if you got horribly burnt in a relationship and need to take some time away from the dating scene (perhaps permanently) then that's okay to. But to tell people never to date is not your right nor place.

I have noticed that ttqs84 has edited twice, but discussed this, never.

Merle

Maybe ttqs84 is merely too shy to engage in straightforward discussion. It's a possibility.

i did edited it because someone here assumed that i was making this post look like spam or something, so i deleted the 'spam' part.
i only posted this topic because i was making an opinion. when reading this article, i looked back at my own bad experience with men and realized why they are who they are. two of them attempted to take advantage of me when i was 13/14 years old, but at least i knew then it wasn't right so i knew i must get out of those situations. for that, i maintain my virginity 'til this day.
most of you are already judging me as if you already know me based on what you read before/after looking at those links. perhaps some of you haven't experienced such situations to know how hurtful a relationship can be, whether having autism or not.
SO WHAT IF I STAY SINGLE FOR THE REST MY LIFE? i'm not gonna let some apathetic a$$hole hit me or make use of me for his own personal gain.
that also applies when it comes to friends since i've been bullied and isolated all the way up to artistic make-up school. i noticed that if people are gonna keep hurting me, emotionally or physically, i'll never have a relationship in my life. that also brings me to a conclusion that love doesn't exist. i always go by a phrase, "it's better off being alone than have bad company". it works for me.

I wasn't judging you, I don't even know you. You may marry or stay single as you please. I was judging the articles you asked us to judge. Oh, and the part about the spam.

Glad you are discussing it, now.

Merle

I dont date because my dad was a sociopath...he is dead now, but neverless my taste in men suck. I have had a few men in my life whom their only purpose was improving my taste in men...but either way I am happier without all of the melodrama of a crazed boyfriend/fiance