Staying home while dressed up drives me mad!

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I have no idea if it is an autism thing or not but nothing puts me in a worse mood than getting dressed, i.e. jeans, summer dress, anything...doing my hair and make up and sitting at home. . My chest feels like it will explode. I have no problem being home, reading, watching tv, doing housework, painting, anything...but my husband thinks it is nice to come home and for me to "look nice with make-up, normal clothes vs sweats, etc" and then to just sit around doing nothing. To me if I dress up, take me out! Otherwise, leave me alone to do housework or sit on my behind in my frumpy clothes.

I truly either get majorly depressed or angry. Note that I do like to dress up nice when I go out, I don't mind that at all. Am I crazy? Unreasonable? Is this related to autism? OCD? Or just me?

I went out to a restaurant on my own tonight and then had a beer afterwards in a bar because my friend stood me up at the very last second when I was fully-dressed, made-up and about to catch the bus! That's how much I hate staying in when I'm dressed up.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I think it is related to that "change of plans" because my "logical brain assumes I get dressed to go out, otherwise why bother"...and when I don't, it drives me mad. Funny you said you went out alone because that is what I wanted to do...but with a kiddo, I just changed and locked myself in

I am the same way! My logic is is that if I'm not going anywhere nice or I'm not driving anywhere, then I won't get dressed up because I don't see the point in it. There were times when I didn't even follow a routine to get me going in the morning.

Same here! As soon as I get home I am in sweats and a t-shirt. I want to be comfortable!

I really thought it was NORMAL to just be dressed in sweats/comfy clothes when not specifically going out of the house.

The decades I worked IN the office (I telework full time now), I would 'get dressed', and then return to comfy clothes as soon as I got home.

Do you wear shoes in the house?
I never do. Socks, slippers, but NEVER an 'outside shoe'.

Honestly, I really thought my way was 'normal', it's not?

I now wear flip flops, but most of my life i wore no shoes in the house…never anything else.

I think it's normal.

I don't even get dressed if I'm not leaving the house and since I don't leave the house much I spend most of the time in pajamas. I just want to be comfortable. I usually don't wear anything on my feet at home. I might wear socks or slippers if the floor is cold or the cat wants to bite my feet but otherwise I'm barefoot.

When you and your husband were first dating and you planned a romantic evening in together, did you wear sweats? Perhaps he feels that you have "let yourself go" and stopped trying to look attractive for him now that you have a kid. A lot of moms do.

There are lots of comfy clothes that don't have the frumpy connotations of sweats and a tee shirt. Silk pajamas. Yoga pants and a tank top. Super-soft knit maxi dresses. Stretchy jeggings and fleece pullovers. Tinted moisturizer and lipbalm are good for your skin and look like makeup to a guy. There are other options besides fully dressed and made up which are comfortable and attractive for an aspie.

If I understand it right, you girls are talking about not being dressed up if not going out.
this is true for nearly everyone, when they are in their own houses they just dress comfortably.
in my case it also means walking around without clothes on
only females that use make up at home are the movies characters!

an ex boyfriend of mine would get completely dressed every day.
Including wearing regular shoes in the house.

I never got that

My mom also always gets dressed.

Maybe it's just when you live alone that you stay in comfy clothes all day.

If the thing a guy found attractive on me was my make up, he is free to look at bottles of mascara and make up all day. ^^ Parts of having "happy relation-supporting days at home" for me and my actual partners is simply having no stress on that days, so walking around with our bathing coats until midday and so on. ^^ A stressing "romance dinner at home day, so stress yourself to be dressed up as if you are movie actors" would be not romantic at all for us. ^^

And someone running around with street-shoes in my house, and forcing me to force him to wet-clean the floor after him needlessly, definitely would not cause romantic feelings in me. O_o

To be honest I don't know what you mean. I wear the same thing everyday (comfortable jeans, a t-shirt and a sweater or hoodie - this is too cold to walk in pyjamas, and besides - I would feel weird opening the door for for example a mailman while wearing my pyjamas) and when I go out I just change my slippers to normal shoes and wear a jacket if it is cold outside. I brush my hair every morning anyway since I am not feeling good if they are not brushed (like I had something heavy on my head) and I use some antiperspirant since I don't like feeling wet.
I usually don't wear any make up (I only do when I go out and have to hide a pimple).

Perhaps you are wearing some really lame clothes at home that make you look like you don't care about yourself at all. Or maybe your husband is one of those 'looks over everything else" type. If so - it is his problem.

But if a husband would like the wife to dress up doesn't mean he cares about looks over everything! It is not so much the look itself but what it represents. In this case would be that you want to dress up for him because you care about his opinion on you, he is important to you. If you don't dress up anymore it can be interpreted as you don't care about him anymore.

My partner also likes me dressed up around the house. I don't get it really and I don't do it anymore. I really hate uncomfortable clothes, especially since I put on more weight I can't stand anything tight round my tummy. We're both overweight but I don't mind whatever he wants to wear, I told him I fancy him whatever he's wearing and he should feel the same about me if he loves me. He hasn't moaned about my clothes for a while now so he must be ok about it

Interesting thoughts on what is normal vs. letting go. I have to say that I have always dressed in sweats, shorts, t-s, etc. around the house. My husband met me like that. Yes, not sure why I dated him as I had literally 2 pairs of pants to go out and 3 shirts?From day 1 he wanted me to buy new clothes because I always looked the same. I did and I don't mind dressing up to go out, but at home, whatever! I have gained some weight since my kiddo was born and for the past 15 yrs I have worked full-time?but once my son turned 3, I have been both a homeschool mom and worked from home full-time. I am also expected to clean the place up, although he never complains (i say expected because if I don't, he never will?ugh?except possibly laundry and dishes).

But the thing is, he puts on a t-shirt, shorts and tennis shoes or similar to hang around the house?I wear whatever I have?even if that means PJs?I don't care, I am not going out.

But, the thing to me is, not so much what I wear in the house when I plan to stay here, but I don't see the point in dressing up unless I am going out..and by that I mean, "hair done, make up done, nails done, nice clothes or jeans with a nice shirt, sandals or similar"?if I have to dress up, I am going out?hmmm?

PS funny thing is, he seems to think I should look nicer at home, but how could I? When I am with my son 24/7, work full time, make 3 meals a day, clean, do laundry, paint, do bills, do taxes, everything?I have NO TIME to think of anything?heck, I normally don't even eat all day long?PS today is a perfect example?I did eat a sandwich only because we went out at lunch (my son and I), never had time for breakfast or dinner?ugh