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nomoretears
Sea Gull
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28 Jun 2015, 4:39 pm

Ive done this before. Have you? It caused a major sh$tstorm. I was also accused of hating women.

I dont get it. I was being factually correct.
I enjoy spending a lot of time alone. I do things in public alone, like going out to eat ir hoong to the movies. Most of the people who do that alone are men or older women. I have a lot of traditionally male interests. I dont like talking. If you put me at a lunch table, i eat not talk. The older i get, the less i want to talk. Most women dont have to worry about being called manly. I rarely date, and i mostly dont care about kids. A lot of women move seamlessly from bf to bf.

I dont get why im supposed to have things in common with someone because we have xx chromosomes.



Sweetleaf
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28 Jun 2015, 5:41 pm

Well most people I hang around are guys, girls can be more difficult...I am always just more on edge about them, so then I feel like I have to be more cautious not to be judged and have a bunch of 'I don't like you' drama on their part because they think I'm weird or whatever I don't really worry about that hanging out with guys. That and I mean a lot of my interests are often times more associated with males, though that is a little stereotypical...and I don't particularly agree with the notion some interests are for females and some are for males. But I mostly like more action movies, I listen to a lot of rock and metal, I like computer/video games, my clothes seem mostly gender neutral if anything like wouldn't be weird on a guy aren't that weird on a female though for some reason it seems many females feel the need to 'dress up' even just to go to the store for something real quick...so then getting ready takes them longer than the actual venture, so I suppose you may see more guys my age in metal band t-shirts and jeans than females when in public.

And I really hate shaving...don't even bother with my legs anymore, but the only visible hair is on lower legs then it just gets lighter and short, also though putting a razor to my legs often enough to keep them clean shaven would just aggravate the itchy dry skin I am prone to. Arm pits I shave from time to time, mostly in the summer or when it gets bothersome but far too much hassle to inspect them every morning to keep them entirely hair free and same issue with it irritating my skin. I suppose I don't see why it should cause a sh*tstorm for you to mention you feel significantly different from most females...do people prefer lies.


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DevilKisses
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29 Jun 2015, 1:21 pm

People accuse me of being a special snowflake when I say I'm not like the other girls. I've kind of given up on telling people that I'm not like other girls. I do like to look feminine, but I don't think I act particularly feminine. I'm not straight and I just don't interact like most girls. I guess people refuse to see that because of my appearance.

When I walk by other girls I often feel like I'm getting scrutinized more. I think it's an NT trait to scrutinize people who look like the most like you. They want to see if I'm a true member of their group. I involuntarily give them a dirty look so they probably assume I'm a stuck up b***h.


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Rhapsody
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29 Jun 2015, 3:25 pm

People get mad, or accuse you of being a “special snow flake” when you say “I'm not like other girls” because if you say this to other women they hear it as “I'm better than you.” The problem with this phrase, and saying it, has nothing to do with whether you are or are not like other girls. It's great to feel special, which is why this sort of line gets thrown around a lot, but it's a backhanded compliment. Even if you're saying it about yourself. By stating traits that make you different (implied as better) you are simultaneously implying that the rest of your gender is inferior.

It's all about implications. Facts are important, but they often get ignored when people react emotionally. There's nothing wrong with being different. Saying you have different interests, different beauty standards, or different social standards, and keeping it defined to just you is fine. People get upset, though, when they think that you think you're better than they are. Which is the problem with comparing yourself to the vague monolith that is “other girls.” Because, contrary to the opinions in Love and Dating, there really isn't a Hive-brain conspiracy that is the majority of women.

I know we're all autistic, and tact is hard, so maybe it's just best to avoid this phrase?



kraftiekortie
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29 Jun 2015, 4:23 pm

So what's wrong with being special? What's wrong with being a snowflake?

As long as you try to adapt to what life gives you, I don't see anything wrong with being "special."

Also: pertaining to another thread: I meant "complementary," rather than "complimentary." I meant you should present ideas in complement with the other person's, so that both egos will remain unbruised.



yellowtamarin
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29 Jun 2015, 10:23 pm

I have it said to me (about me) more often than I say it, so it doesn't cause trouble. I probably wouldn't say it to a group of mainstream females, that seems like asking for trouble, but I have said it as a means of opening up and explaining who I am to people and it has been fine. I probably tend to say it to people who see it as a positive anyway, because they are also drawn to those who are outliers.



nomoretears
Sea Gull
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01 Jul 2015, 8:59 am

Rhapsody wrote:
People get mad, or accuse you of being a “special snow flake” when you say “I'm not like other girls” because if you say this to other women they hear it as “I'm better than you.” The problem with this phrase, and saying it, has nothing to do with whether you are or are not like other girls. It's great to feel special, which is why this sort of line gets thrown around a lot, but it's a backhanded compliment. Even if you're saying it about yourself. By stating traits that make you different (implied as better) you are simultaneously implying that the rest of your gender is inferior.

It's all about implications. Facts are important, but they often get ignored when people react emotionally. There's nothing wrong with being different. Saying you have different interests, different beauty standards, or different social standards, and keeping it defined to just you is fine. People get upset, though, when they think that you think you're better than they are. Which is the problem with comparing yourself to the vague monolith that is “other girls.” Because, contrary to the opinions in Love and Dating, there really isn't a Hive-brain conspiracy that is the majority of women.

I know we're all autistic, and tact is hard, so maybe it's just best to avoid this phrase?


I think in the future I'll try to avoid this topic.
I think the emotional reaction is stupid. Many of the ways in which Im different actually make people feel bad for me. Even other women will be like, "Oh, you don't a lot. Why is that?" So I guess Nts can point it out, but i can't.

I've figured out that if nts point out things thats ok. If I say the same things about myself that nts say about me, then peoples heads spin. That's social interaction.



nomoretears
Sea Gull
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01 Jul 2015, 9:12 am

DevilKisses wrote:
People accuse me of being a special snowflake when I say I'm not like the other girls. I've kind of given up on telling people that I'm not like other girls. I do like to look feminine, but I don't think I act particularly feminine. I'm not straight and I just don't interact like most girls. I guess people refuse to see that because of my appearance.

When I walk by other girls I often feel like I'm getting scrutinized more. I think it's an NT trait to scrutinize people who look like the most like you. They want to see if I'm a true member of their group. I involuntarily give them a dirty look so they probably assume I'm a stuck up b***h.

I can relate. I look girly, but i don't act particularly girly.



sleepingpancake
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14 Aug 2015, 7:26 am

yeah me too. i can relate i like girly stuff but not too much...i dont flirt, dont even care about guys or having kids.people often mistook me for being lesbian but in really straight.


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BeaArthur
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26 Aug 2015, 10:00 am

I think you can say the same thing in a different way, if you say "Most of my friends are guys. I don't really enjoy hanging out with women. I don't know why, that's just how it is."

Or maybe I missed the point of what you were saying. For an Aspie, "I'm not like other girls" is just a special case of "I'm not like other people," but try saying that to someone you're not already close with and see how badly the conversation can bomb.

In my old age, I am learning that shifting the conversational focus slightly is often the best way to go, better than trying to address a syllogism or adopting someone else's metaphor.



Inle
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10 Sep 2015, 7:58 am

I generally go with 'I'm not like other *people*' It's never occurred to me to be more specific than that.... :?



Elfwink
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17 Sep 2015, 8:13 pm

"Hey, I know someone who is a girl. You two can hang out and talk about girl things."

(An actual statement said to me.)

:(


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ashleynd92
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19 Sep 2015, 11:24 pm

I am weird. I have been accused of being too girly and too much of a tomboy at same time. I have people assume that I am lesbian because I don't date. (I am straight by way.) I don't have many friends that are girls, most of my friends are males. I don't like dealing females because to me they seem to cause the most problems and drama. I don't flirt with guys although I have been accused of being a flirt.



Elfwink
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20 Sep 2015, 3:39 am

ashleynd92 wrote:
I am weird. I have been accused of being too girly and too much of a tomboy at same time. I have people assume that I am lesbian because I don't date. (I am straight by way.) I don't have many friends that are girls, most of my friends are males. I don't like dealing females because to me they seem to cause the most problems and drama. I don't flirt with guys although I have been accused of being a flirt.


It's okay to be a girl and have male friends. Also, don't worry what other people will think of you.

Some guys will think if a girl talks to them it means she is interested.


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