Can't stop crying

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Hi all. It's been a while since I've posted here since my AS traits hadn't been giving me as much trouble. But I think it might have flared up again.

For almost all of my life, I hardly ever cried. I went through life feeling somewhat numb or disconnected most of the time. I had hardly any friends, and kept mostly to myself.

But after some major changes, I'm crying much more and it's near impossible to control. I found my best friend (neurotypical, but very understanding), and he and I got married a couple months ago. It's been amazing finding someone who understands me and loves me for who I am. I've never felt so safe with someone. He's the only one that doesn't perpetually set me on edge.

Ever since we started dating, I've cried much more often. Not because he hurt me or anything, but for little things. For example, if he visited me at school and had to leave, I would cry for an hour. Or if we have a serious heart to heart conversation about our relationship, I'm fighting back tears regardless of what I'm feeling. When minor crises come up, such as car troubles, or having way too much to do, I cry. In retrospect, it's always not nearly as bad as I thought. But in the moment, it's terrible. I also cry from anxiety. Not even clinical levels of anxiety, pretty mild stuff.

In the moment when I'm crying it's so hard to make sense of what's going on. It's as if my brain's spinning, and it's impossible to pick out any one reason why I'm crying. Then I'm mad at myself for crying because I've identified myself as level headed and detached for so long. That makes me cry even more. Then I acknowledge that my husband has moderate-severe depression and anxiety, yet he's much more in control of his emotions than I am. He hardly ever cries. I feel guilty, like I have no right to cry when he regularly puts up with more crap than I do in a lifetime. Then I cry even more. He does his best to comfort me with hugs and cuddles and kisses. I enjoy and appreciate that but it just makes me cry even more. It's a terrible, vicious cycle. I'm left feeling stupid and angry regardless of the situation or my husband's efforts. I'm sick and tired of this and I'm sure his patience is wearing thin too.

Side note: I'm not sure if/how this is related, but I also recently had a hormonal IUD inserted. I was told by my gynecologist that the hormones shouldn't mess with my emotions, just my uterus, but who knows??

Anyone have any ideas/techniques for controlling emotions, or has anyone been in this situation? Help?

Can you have the IUD removed and see if your emotions recover after a month?

To clarify, I've only had the IUD for a month but emotions have been out of control about a year before then.

Hey, sorry you fee bad, are you on any meds, any antidepressants?

I have spells where I cry really easily. I'm guessing it's not going to go away for me, and I'm not that worried about it. Why should you feel guilty about it? Your body probably is responding more easily to emotional states for whatever reason. My body responds quite strongly to emotions at times. It's related to the autonomic nervous system, I believe.

http://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.1988.6.1.53?journalCode=jscp

" I was told by my gynecologist that the hormones shouldn't mess with my emotions, just my uterus"

That's the goofiest thing i've heard in a while. Hormones mess up emotions significantly. They also relate to neurotransmitters like estrogen-serotonin progesterone-gaba.
What you describe sounds quite hormonally influenced, yet more so since it's atypical for you. Before the iud, did you start on the pill or something? Or as insomnia suggested, a med like lexapro?

It may be the hormones in the IUD but you also said this started long before the IUD.

I also think that the way our hormones affect us changes over our lifetimes. I didn't used to have hormonal-emotional connections. Now I do. Almost to the point of PMS. I never thought I'd have this because I didn't believe in it. I thought women who claimed hormones for their poor behavior (anger, temper tantrums, snappiness) were making excuses. But I have been noticing in the last year that I get depressed and cry easily and it seemed to coincide with my cycle.

You've also been through a lot of changes lately and you are learning to live with your spouse and he is learning to live with you. You have to be around him and be available for him and probably want to be around him and want to be available for him and give him those things he wants and needs. And no matter how much you like him, want him, love him, etc. there will always be an energy drain. The best way to offset that energy drain is to let yourself express yourself the way that you do it, not the way that might be most expected for women. I learned this the hard way.

It's going to be okay. It won't always be this way. And if you get to the point where you know it's not going to get better then try a medication. It's not a failure or a giving up. It's just another way to help.