Women shaming others for wanting love

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Here's a thing I've noticed, but I have some single female acquaintances who will put other women and enjoy down for wanting to find a loving relationship.

They say, "I'm happy in my own, it doesn't mean I don't want to met someone, but I'm not desperate. Im not looking." That's fine, but they say it to anyone who shows any indication that the would like to meet someone. They openly laugh at people who are looking as though they think they are pathetic.

They treat a need for love like a personality weakness, especially if they see a man they find unattractive openly expressing that he wants to be loved.

I can't be doing with this self righteousness.

What I mean is women say this to me and it makes me feel like I can't talk about how I feel. It's like I'm letting the side down with my weakness.

I would rather not have a relationship myself, now at this point, but I like to think I don't put anyone down for wanting to find someone.

I do know what it's like to want to find a truly good relationship, and I know what it's like to get excited about meeting someone new, and being in a relationship, as I've experienced all of that.

But just because I no longer have an interest in that side of life, and I feel more content alone, doesn't mean I think less of someone who is still wanting those things. There's a season for everything within a lifetime and there's nothing wrong with wanting that out of life, it's a very basic human need.

I dunno if it's a pride or a bitterness thing. They're like, "well if I can't find someone I don't see why you should. You should just give up and get on with your life like I do?"

I dunno if this is a stiff upper lip British thing.

Men do exactly the same to other men.

Some people really need to read the instructions for the Women's Discussion forum about non-helpful and off-topic posts--there are some men who can't seem to get the message and need to be always inserting themselves inappropriately into discussions in threads in this forum, and it's childish and annoying.

And how my post violates that? eh? I simply said that some men do exactly the same to other men.

It's ok. It was a very innocuous comment.

Actually, what do they say? I put this in the women's section because I didn't think that men did this to each other. I thought that men would be more, go for it!

The 'go for it' is more of a typical bar scenario and it's often within non-serious context ; but if a man actually talk to other men about his need of seeking for romantic love (and especially if he talks about his struggles in finding love), he would get lashed by a similar attitude you described in the OP - at least some would do.

I was more referring to this: "They treat a need for love like a personality weakness, especially if they see a man they find unattractive openly expressing that he wants to be loved.".

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 11 Dec 2016, 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dammit, I've got battles on all fronts. If I like someone that my friends think is beneath me, they don't support me. If maybe he likes me back, but really likes me seriously, his friends will make fun of him for being soppy (I heard that happended once, only because my sister told me years later that his friends had made fun of him. I thought they were making fun of me, rather than him, but your explaination kind of explains what happened a bit better).

It's a wonder anyone gets together. Dating is only for the strong I fear. You'v got to be willing to do what you need to do for yourself and ignore the people who try to bring you down.

[mod note]The rules for men's participation here as stated by DW_a_mom says

and spongy says

Quote:

This section is accessible to both males and females.

Its meant to be a place where females can feel free to discuss any issue they wish(as long as they are respecting the opposite gender which is a requirement on this site´s rules) and any male can give their input as long as they are trying to be helpfull/supportive.

There is nothing inappropriate with the male participation in this thread. he just points out that men have the same problem, which means it's not a problem unique to women. There is nothing disrespectful there.

Some women seem to think that men are not allowed to post in this section. That is not the case. [/mod note]

Yes, I guess so ; even in weddings you typically hear people not approving the bride/groom for the other.

Maybe we (not gender-specific) just need to 'go for it' without consulting friends/acquaintances

Maybe they are afraid to admit they want the exact same thing? A matter of pride maybe.

To be honest you should be able to express you want for a relationship without being judged for it. Wanting to be loved is only natural after all.

Perhaps I'm oversensitive on this issue, but that particular poster has a history of disrespecting the rules of this forum and I've had to sever communication with him directly over this and other issues. If I spoke too soon I apologise.

*Huffs* *Glares at Boo*