Autistic Mothers

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I've always had some intuitive feeling that no only would someone women on the spectrum make great mothers, but some autistic traits would actually be advantageous to parenting. I have my own theories on this, but first I'd like to hear from actual mothers on the spectrum on how they find their autism affects their parenting, for better or worst.

making it a special interest, so to say?
at preschool (of my kids) you could, were supposed to be present some times, the carers asked if i would like to come more because i did things with kids and not take their time, demanding their attention while chatting
at school i was asked to do activities with kids by the teachers, i volunteered as well but when more help was needed, eg getting hammered on your fingers by 4/5 year olds
i shyed away for participating at happenings but there where enough parents applying to that!
then we moved, no parent-participation here, a sign! forbidden for parents !
which is another way to protect the teachers because in the other, open situation it were always the same parents clinging to teachers (for words of appraisal?)

Something like that. Then I also think poor adult level social skills would be more of an impediment for someone in the corporate work environment than a stay-at-home mother. Finally some autistic women are very empathetic in a way that would be good for dealing with children.

I have two small children (2 and 4 YO) and honestly i don't feel very optimistic about my parenting most days.
I feel it would be nice for my kids if they didn't have parents who are so constantly overwhelmed. (My husband has ADHD and a personality disorder and may also have ASD, but isn't diagnosed with it; I have HFA). We have our hands absolutely full doing the daily maintenance like keeping them in clothes that fit, maintaining the household and planning our days. I would love to be able to do more enrichment stuff with them. For instance, I went camping every year as a kid and would love to be able to give my kids that experience, but I am just not sure we can pull it off, when I am already dreading having to organize a birthday party for my daughter and her birthday is in three months. In general, I think as an autistic parent you really must watch out for overload and take care of yourself, giving yourself the quiet time you need and get over the idea that this is selfish somehow. Living with kids is living in a constant state of sensory overload and you have to help yourself cope with that.

There are aspects of my autism that I feel limit my parenting skills, but my kids seem pretty happy overall. I can't be as involved in their school lives as I'd like, and can't network with other moms for play dates, birthday parties, and the like.

I do try to encourage independence and acting proactively with them. I want them to reach for their goals, but let them know that struggling is okay.

My three children are all grown up. I think raising children was the best experience of my life and led me to the deepest insight into myself. Your own children will say things to you that almost no one else will, at least mine did.
I was a super nerdy mom. I studied as much as I could on how to be a good mom, like a passionate hobby. I was almost always first in line to pick them up. Brought awesome snacks. Searched out great toys. Created really fun birthdays. We had lots of friends over to play. I was scout leader for all three for several years. The areas where I was very weak were in teaching them social skills and showing by example how to cultivate, entertain, and nurture friendships. Some moms ended their child's friendships with my kids because they perceived me as odd but this was rare. Amazingly, my kids have all ended up learning how to find and keep friends and are actually quite good at it. I have no idea where they learned those skills but perhaps they have just done the opposite of whatever it was I was doing!!
I think they also learned skills from friends and friend's parents.
No matter your deficits, children know when you are trying hard and loving them.

I have raised two children, or rather am still raising them to various degrees. (They are 10 and 20) I had no qualifications or experience for my first child, but I am a voracious reader, and I just got a bunch of books. My daughter was my best therapy, because I had to figure her out, and communicate with her, and also deal with all the people who are drawn to interact with women who have babies. I learned her emotions and how to react to them. I will say that me being very clinical and calm didn't seem to harm her, if anything she is very resilient and calm! Having a child got me out of the house, and while we went to places like the park and the zoo on the "off" hours, we went! She has a great vocabulary and a very clinical, logical outlook like I do, because I did not speak to her as, or treat her as a child (the way society suggests people do...I mean condescension and baby talk). Both of my children have Aspie characteristics, but my daughter seems to not be on the spectrum, rather she has just picked up characteristics due to being raised by me. My son probably has Asperger's, but since I understand and deal, most of his issues aren't "issues."

I'm good in the sense that once I learn a person I'm very in tune with them. I'm very empathetic to my kids, always on their side and learned from my mother how NOT to parent. She is a narcissist I have no contact with. However, since I remember everything that happened to me, I can use those things as references to respond to my kids the way I would have liked. I validate them and care how they feel, never treated them like most people treat kids and they appreciate that. I am home schooling all 3 of them as they are on the spectrum, a girl 15 and boy/girl twins who are 7. I live in an area with terrible services and pulled my kids out of school rather abruptly, never intending to home school when Common Core started here. It's educational child abuse. Once I figured out what was happening, there was no way I was going to let anyone hurt my kids. Home schooling isn't easy, it's a sensory nightmare for me and I just scrape by. But my kids are so much happier and have less seizures and anxiety. I have no friends or family though and wish I could give them some kind of decent extended family or other adults to model after. My husband has BPD but is very good socially(outside the house,anyway). He is a nightmare to me, but is a good father and does things with them I'd have a meltdown over. I'm always concerned with whether my kids are happy, getting what they need, feeling loved. But I'm a terrible social role model and when I'm overwhelmed, not as emotionally available as I'd like. My oldest is truly grateful because I accept her being gay without any issue, which is not how it goes at her father's (my ex's).I'm sort of the "mom" to the LGBTQ teens she's friends with that aren't accepted at home. They like me, say I'm different, but cool. I hope so.