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C2V
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27 Oct 2016, 11:12 pm

I'm curious if women would be offended -
At the moment I'm interested in playing the Irish tin whistle, and was looking for some whistlers on YouTube to get an idea of the different whistle keys. One such channel was a woman who plays the E Flat whistle very well, and I suspected she was a flute player by the way she approached the whistle. Another was a guy who caught my attention because he had a cover of the theme to the movie "Braveheart" which I always suspected was on the whistle and sounds great.
But the difference in comments was startling. And yes, YouTube comments are often sh***y, but the woman got many more comments on her appearance than she did on her playing, whereas no one commented at all on the man's appearance, just his playing. They were both, as far as I can discern, average looking twenty - thirtysomethings, both just playing the whistle.
I immediately thought that was offensive. Ok I'm not a woman exactly, but I have been read as one at one stage or another and always offended when people commented positively on my appearance, instead of on me, what I was doing or saying. I am also annoyed by people commenting on me being "cute" when they read me as a man.
But then it occurred to me that maybe women are pleased by positive attention and comments on their appearance.
Maybe this girl liked it that people would comment about how "pretty" she was, instead of on her whistle playing.
But why would people direct that kind of comment to the woman, and not to the man at all?
What do you all think, as women? Would you be flattered and take it as a compliment if someone was to comment on your physical appearance rather than your skill, in a similar situation? Would you rather people praised your talents, opinions, beliefs etc over your looks, or does it please you when people note your attractiveness?


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YippySkippy
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28 Oct 2016, 1:11 pm

Quote:
Would you be flattered and take it as a compliment if someone was to comment on your physical appearance rather than your skill, in a similar situation?


If someone makes a video that is not about appearance (as opposed to a make-up tutorial, for example), then it's rude to comment on their appearance. It's not a compliment to have your work disregarded and your value reduced to whether or not some strange man finds you attractive. It's creepy as he11.

Quote:
And yes, YouTube comments are often sh***y, but the woman got many more comments on her appearance than she did on her playing, whereas no one commented at all on the man's appearance, just his playing. They were both, as far as I can discern, average looking twenty - thirtysomethings, both just playing the whistle.


Yup, sounds about par for the course. Casual sexism is everywhere.



TheAP
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28 Oct 2016, 1:25 pm

I also think it's a form of sexism.



wilburforce
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28 Oct 2016, 2:39 pm

It's a reminder (and they are constant, if you are female) that you only have worth if you are sexually attractive to men. It's not so much offensive as it is browbeatingly annoying and disheartening. It makes you feel small.


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arielhawksquill
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28 Oct 2016, 5:42 pm

I am never indignant when someone offers sincere kind words to me, whether they choose to comment on my appearance or my ability. If I were seriously upset about it, though, I suppose I would record myself playing off-camera.



AnaHitori
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28 Oct 2016, 8:05 pm

I probably wouldn't be offended, but I would prefer for my skill to be complimented.


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rats_and_cats
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30 Oct 2016, 9:41 am

iJustine is one of my favorite YouTubers and her editing skills are great, but most of the comments I see on her videos are very lewd. They need to bring back the dislikes on comments so the more inappropriate ones are at the bottom, not front and center.
I would be very frustrated if I got comments like that, especially if it was the majority of comments.



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30 Oct 2016, 9:58 am

I don't know really how I would react, probably some of both. I know I would be flattered to some degree :oops:
That's one of lifes tough realitys, growing older you slowly become more and more invisible to men.



Quiet Water
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30 Oct 2016, 3:05 pm

I consider getting more invisible to men as I get older a relief, actually; I remember getting harassed when I was younger and never thought it a compliment - it annoyed me, and occasionally frightened me. (Yeah, most men won't do anything more than catcall, but a few attempt worse if they think they might get away with it, and thus every 'compliment' is the start of a potential attack.)

I also play music, but I tend to hide in the back of the band - I know of at least on YouTube video in which my instrument can be heard, but I can't be seen. When I see the comments focusing on the appearance rather than the abilities of female musicians and singers, these confirm my preference for stealth.



Canary
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01 Nov 2016, 12:55 pm

This is just how women are treated. If the whistle player was unattractive, she'd be getting comments on that, too.

I don't consider it offensive unless someone is being rude, inappropriate, etc. I think it's okay to notice if someone looks nice regardless of what they're doing, but not okay to harass someone or judge their music by appearance.