Hi,
I have immense difficulty in finding a bra that is cozy, supportive and doesnt look wierd.
I do not like making my breasts look larger, it gets negative attention.
Instead of going bra-less (again, more potential unneeded attention), I started wearing cozier cotton (and spandex blend sometimes) bras that are more suited for athletic wear-- no poking wires or plastic, cheap styrophoam-esque shapes, or itchy seams.
Really, clothes in general for Aspie women is an issue.
I cant seem to get my NT female friends on board with me.
They must be de-sensitized to tight fitting clothes up in their armpits and you know where else. Really jeans are tough, as much as I love a pair of tight jeans, its an uphill battle.
My mother is the only one who seems to get it as a baby boomer gen hippy.
She always endorses wearing breathable flowing clothing, kind of what people in traditional african or indian dress would wear.. I guess yoga culture and yoga clothing would be a good place to look for cozy solutions.
It looks and feels better than some stuff that women put themselves through. IMO its torture.
I think a lot of aspie women share the feeling.
I wear simple bras that have no underwire and press my boobs down.
I fit shirts differently (the way I prefer). It sounds petty but its a world of difference to more top heavy women.
I feel more mobility as I embrace my androgyny more, and borrow from natural, less effort "french" looks. I dont play down my style for comfort. Its a shame people seem to think you cant have one without the other.
Good luck with your boobs.