Difficult living situation

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I'm female 35 and I was recently diagnosed with aspergers - after a lifetime of feeling different and misunderstood.

I'm only able to hold down a part-time job. It doesn't pay well. I live with my partner. Its a very difficult relationship. We are not that compatible. However I cannot afford to leave. I don't know if others can relate to this situation?

I am 35 too and recently diagnosed. A few years ago before I knew I had ASD I was also in a difficult relationship and couldn't afford to leave because I was at uni full time and had no income. Luckily my mum bailed me out until I finished uni and found a job. Do you have a family member who could help you financially. Or a friend or relative you could move in with and split the bills?

Hi LostGirl. I'm glad you were able to get out of your difficult relationship. Unfortunately I don't have anyone who can help or who I could share with. Not sure how I would have survived if I hadn't meet my partner.

Where are you? I know from experience in the UK that there are places you can go that might be helpful. I know some places offer accommodation in return for volunteering. Or you could go ask at citizens advice.

It's hard when you don't have any relatives who might help out. But if your relationship isn't good, you are probably better to look at your options.

For me it's kind of the other way round, my ex won't move out. We have two kids, and though I appreciate his helping out with them, I find his presence a real annoyance, it's hard. It's a really stressful set up.

Let us know how you get on.

If there is any abuse, I would say to find a way to leave. If there is no abuse and you are just incompatible, there was ways to happily co-exist.

A lot of the stress in relationships comes from people trying unsuccessfully to make the other person act in a particular manner, or stop acting in a particular manner. But if you accept the person is how they are, and realize that the only thing you might control is how you react to them, this element of stress can be minimized.

Where my previous roommate and I had very specific ideas about how certain things should transpire, and these ideas conflicted, we resolved the issue by limiting the number of these things we did together. For example, my roommate was of the opinion that we should arrive an hour to thirty minutes early at the movies, while I was of the opinion that I didn't need to see the previews, much less the 15 minutes of nothing before them, so we stopped going to the movies together. If these were not things done together, but things done apart, for example, cleaning the kitchen, we merely accepted that the person cleaning the kitchen would clean the kitchen how they saw fit.