How do you prepare a sensitive aspie girl for periods?

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This has worried me for a while.

Within 6 months of getting my own period as an early teen I developed anorexia and then had 3 years when my period disappeared. During this time I begged every doctor I came in contact with to give me a hysterectomy. Even up into my early 20s I was still trying to get a doctor to entertain the idea of a hysterectomy. So.... I did not deal particularly well with the notion of periods. I hated that they just happened to me and were beyond my control. It made me extremely displeased with my body. It just felt like quite a lot to have to deal with when still so young,and with so much else going on, if they could have just waited say 10 years I think it would have been easier.

My daughter has lots of issues around bodily functions. She is petrified of blood. She has a really low pain threshold. I am really nervous how the cycle of periods might affect her mentally.

I hopefully have a bit of time. She is 8 now. But does anyone have any wise words or advice?

Thank you. There's is pretty no way she would choose to conceal it. She is extremely needy in relation to things that worry her and I envisage a scenario where she would want herself and me to lock ourselves in the bathroom uttering reassurances every 3 seconds until it is over. But I could be wrong. Things might change by then. She had withholding issues as a toddler with toileting and given her absolute fear of blood and bodily fluids I feel it is going to be a big deal. I wonder if it is worth speaking to a doctor for advice? They have always been entirely clueless in the past when there is autism involved.

I am sorry you had a similar experience to me. It is hard growing up. I am not sure if it is relevant to you and your situation but now that I am older it all makes better sense. My body was really really good at childbirth. I am pretty pleased with it now!

Whatever happens, happens.

I would keep her innocent till the time comes or she is 12 and still doesn't have her period. There is no need for her to worry every day about incoming "blood in pants". Just let her know something called "period" might come and give her a pad to keep nearby - that's what my mom did, without describing in detail what a period is. I only knew you put a pad in your panties when it comes and that I "will recognize it". One day I woke up with blood in my panties, changed them, put some toilet paper in and with the bloody panties in my hand I went to mom, asking "Mom, is it the period or am I hurt?" for confirmation. I wasn't afraid of blood though so it wasn't that terrifying. And I didn't feel the pain yet - it come a few hours later.

Period is a painful experience, especially during teenage years but it's just something she has to survive. I doubt any doctor will delay periods just because she is autistic and scared of blood. And the period might actually cure her out of the fear of blood. Keep pads (tampons will be too much for her) and painkillers ready (make her take one as soon as a period starts, it usually is enough to prevent the pain from appearing) and that's it. The pain usually doesn't last longer than 1 day especially if stopped early and she can live eating 1-2 painkillers once a month. Contact doctor about that if in doubts.
If she is that scared of blood you can tell her period looks like blood but isn't blood, just "period". Which is somehow true - period blood is slightly different than normal blood.

She has grown up knowing about that kind of stuff. When I was pregnant with her sister she was obviously quite curious and I was alway matter of fact and honest about stuff and how things work. I also gave birth to her sister at home. None of that seems to phase her and she has never expressed any worries about it happening to her. It is more that I am worried on her behalf based on my own experience. You are very right that what will come will come and we will both have to deal with it. I guess I just wish I could make it easier on her somehow. I think making it "not blood" is a good idea. It might be that nearer the time I look for some book or make a little story book about it. Painkillers are a good idea too. I have very high pain threshold so that is something I would easily overlook.

The short answer is no, there’s no way to be emotionally prepared for puberty.

However I think it’s good to teach her about what she might expect in her future and talk about periods as a normal thing around her, i.e showing her the sanitary items and which ones you use. I don’t remember ever seeing sanitary items as a child (at least not until my sister started puberty). Basically normalising it so that she’s aware of what is yet to come. Don’t try to flood her with too much info at once - just gradually show her what to expect.