Anyone have TWO kids? Thoughts?

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I have one child right now, and my partner really wants me to have another. Logically, it seems like a nice idea to provide a sibling for our child, but I am not sure how well I will cope. Here are my reasons:

1. My first pregnancy was very uncomfortable. My hips popped in and out of place, which sent shooting pains through me, lots of back pain, etc. My doctor was not concerned since it didn't affect the baby. I also found pregnancy psychologically disconcerting, like I was a science experiment.

2. My first trimester and following birth I had pretty severe depression. Not actually suicidal, but some dark thoughts and mild self harm.

3. Labor was not smooth. Back labor, and some necessary medical interventions. Nerve damage as a result that took 10 months to heal and was very painful.

4. Postpartum depression and anxiety that went untreated for over a year because of poor postnatal care and a partner who honestly was ignorant. Also, severe sleep deprivation for the first 2ish months to the extent I was hallucinating and refused to be left alone with the baby.

5. Baby had some minor health issues which contributed to the anxiety, lack of sleep, etc.

6. I have sensory issues with lots of noise and too much touching, which is challenging still even with only one kid.

My partner is convinced we can plan for and mitigate all these concerns and that it is crucial our child have a sibling. Any thoughts? Any of these seem insurmountable? No big deal? I've heard NT moms say that the second baby is easier because you are used to it...but is that true for those on the spectrum?

Most of your problems seem to be about the pregnancy rather than the baby. Would adoption be an option? Assuming you'd want another one without the pregnancy problems, of course.

Also, I've heard that the thing about two being as easy as one ain't true because with two you'll also have the first, slightly older baby demanding for your attention while you try to take care of the younger, making it harder than the first time. However, they do say that the third is as easy as the second. Don't know if that's true or not though.

I do!

as to when this is the right time...i'd say it depends on how much you are solid within your own self-identity and parenting type...and how harmonious you are with your husband's mind type.
If you are stuck in any loops now they will get worse...if you have any wee cracks in your relationship a second can jam that baby wide open.
If you are unsure i'd get individual and couples therapy first focusing on your individual and future needs.
Happiness, peace, harmony and a rythmn to life are best set BEFORE one child and certainly before two.
Unanswered questions and antagonisms will otherwise just keep rearing their heads when stressed..and this will get dramatically worse the more tired/stressed/isolated/short of time/cash/challenged you become.
There's a primal instinct to defend your true-self... and boy do we go tribal when push comes to shove.
For us apies - life is long - knowledge is power - community will become everything so set yourself a #neworder in place where you are first because once you're solid with that the rest is easy.

How do I know?.... being an obtuse....isolated soul, eager to please and determined to do the right thing....fix all the problems ahead of them happening by judging weak points and differences over leaning into them and celebrating them....I did the exact opposite by putting my own true needs last. Misery...confusion..loss and failure. Older wiser...late diagnosis.. light bulb goes on....acceptance floods in.....identity redefined...peace somewhere in the future...but not without a shedload of emotional pain and misunderstanding between family members.

We need to understand behaviour and excel in communication - make it our special subject of utmost importance then we move from chaos into order....we bridge the gap while retaining our individuality....it's just a case of choosing when we can lean-in and some of us have to do more work than others before that's safe to do.

I do.
My pregnancies weren't problematic so I can't say much about it. Second birth was easier than the first one.
I agree that solving your life problems and maybe a therapy would be better before such a choice. Maternity cost me my mental health. I came back from insanity but if it wasn't for the mix of good support, luck and my "superpowers", I wouldn't be here, I would still be an overmedicated suffering vegetable.
Now my kids are 7 and 8 and being a mother is still a challenge.
So, from my point of view: to be a mother for either one or two, care for yourself first. Your kids need sane, healthy You more than anything else.

I have two children-one is probably level 1 autistic (getting assessed soon), the only is typically developed. I didn't mind pregnancy at all. I hated birth-two c sections and found breastfeeding a sensory challenge. I went to 13mths with 1st, only 4.5 months with second due to him having extreme lactose intolerance.

Honestly, the first 5 years are the hardest for aspie mums I think. The noise, the constant interaction, the lack of language skills, the endless touching, the no-free-time and then you throw in their own sensory issues/autism/developmental problems. I deliberately chose a 7-year gap between my kids. Although this drew the entire thing out much longer than most parents have to deal with, it also had several advantages.

These were that I could focus on one thing at a time (which I need) as the older child didn't need my simultaneous attention; one child was at school which made it much, much easier and I will only have to pay one set of private school fees at a time. It also had less impact on my career.

Very good points, thank you. I have a lot to think about, and an appointment to talk with someone next week.