Hey Lady!

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Ok I try not to let words like lady offend me but it’s hard not to grind my teeth and want say something of an equal nature. I had a particularly grueling incident in which a couple of guys kept shouting “Hey lady!" when they wanted refills or needed help with something on the menu. I realize context is everything and you can’t be offended about everything but why "lady"? I mean it would sound ridiculous if I were to say "Hey man!" unless it was maybe a friend or in an unprofessional setting. Again I try not to let it offend me but I just find it irritating.

That said, I’ve ironically been corrected for using the word "ma’am" in place of Miss when one doesn’t know the other’s last name. I was brought up to believe "Ma’am" was a formal way to address someone you didn’t know the but I guess it now has become synonymous with older woman. It’s been a habit of mine and I tend find myself in the same position as guys who use the word "lady".

Very condescending. And denigrating. I would have came up with a comeback.

Just tell them that this is not the Victorian Era, and that you want to be treated with respect.

I would have said something like "Pardon me?" with my eyebrows raised. This is not the way to talk to somebody.

(The only reason I posted here is because i noticed your name on the main listing on main page).

In my English understanding the word "Lady" is equivalent to 'gentleman' , not to 'man'.

So you have to comeback with a "Hey gentleman!".

It would sound better if you wear a court dress and them wearing the silly white wigs. :>

In this context, the word "lady" is used in the same way as the word "boy" was used with black men in the pre Civil Rights Era South (and the North, too).

It implies a servile relationship, with the "lady" as the "servant."

I happen to like the word "lady." I believe calling a woman a "lady," most of the time, means that the person respects the woman.

In the above instance, that's far from the truth.

Like anywhere, you have idiots in Missouri, and you have nice people in Missouri.

There are even rednecks in New York City.

A waitress, or a person who serves a customer, is seen, by some people, to be in a servile position vis-à-vis the person benefitting from the service.

"Lady," within this specific context, can be interpreted, correctly, to be offensive. It implies that the server is in a servile position, and must bow down to the person being served.

Sort of like a black person in the South (circa 1950) being asked to get a white person water from a water fountain which "colored" people cannot drink from.

I'm not a person who gets offended easily--let me emphasize that. I don't believe in much of the "political correctness" of the present day.

You have a point.....

I can't comprehend how this is offensive to anyone. Lady is a polite and formal way to address a female. It's not as if they can address you by your given name if you're a stranger.

In my country we still commonly use the french titles: Madame for married, Mademoiselle for the unmarried.

The confusing part is some really get offended if you use the wrong title with them - single women get offended when you call them by mistake Madame because it makes them feel older while married women feel being inapporprely addressed if you call them Mademoiselle by mistake , no man comprehends why, so you have to glare at the women’s hand as attempt to know their marital status before addressing them with the correct title.