38 weeks pregnant feeling alone and scared

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IWant2Believe
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01 Mar 2018, 5:18 pm

Hi everyone. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had just gotten out of jail for minor drug possession where I realized I was pregnant and came to terms with my own undiagnosed autism and why I was having so many problems I. Life. I am stuck living with my grandmother while I do school online and wait for the baby and my mother also moved in with us uninvited and it's very stressful. They don't know or understand that I'm on the spectrum I've tried to explain it but they're in denial. My mom has BPD and sometimes she bullies me. DI'll be having my little girl any day now. I had to start taking a small amt of kratom again (did my research thoroughly first) just so I can control the overstimulation/irritably and anxiety that I've felt with hormones added to asd. It's been very hard. I just need some support right now I'm feeling very isolated.



kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2018, 8:17 pm

I'm a man. And I know this is the Woman's Forum.

But I support you. And hope everything comes out okay.



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2018, 8:30 pm

please keep talking to us, we will listen, a few of us might have useful knowledge to help you if you wish it.



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01 Mar 2018, 9:45 pm

IWant2Believe wrote:
Hi everyone. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had just gotten out of jail for minor drug possession where I realized I was pregnant and came to terms with my own undiagnosed autism and why I was having so many problems I. Life. I am stuck living with my grandmother while I do school online and wait for the baby and my mother also moved in with us uninvited and it's very stressful. They don't know or understand that I'm on the spectrum I've tried to explain it but they're in denial. My mom has BPD and sometimes she bullies me. DI'll be having my little girl any day now. I had to start taking a small amt of kratom again (did my research thoroughly first) just so I can control the overstimulation/irritably and anxiety that I've felt with hormones added to asd. It's been very hard. I just need some support right now I'm feeling very isolated.


I think the first thing to do is to get yourself connected to other expecting mothers. A website called BabyCenter has many resources for expecting mothers, as well as a community that has Birth Clubs that will put you in touch with other women who's baby is due around the same time as you are and who are going through the same things, and also support groups.

Talk to your OB/GYN about potential therapy for post partum depression. Some women get it and some women don't but it's good to know your options to treat it before hand. My sister would get it for about two or three weeks after she delivered.

You can also check with your county human services department to see what support is available for women in your position and also with your local Parks and Recreation district for any classes for expecting and new mothers. There are also classes through private organization. It might help significantly to take a parenting class. A lot has changed since your mother had kids...for example, it used to be standard to put babies on their stomach to sleep, but now experts recommend babies sleep on their backs.

There are a lot of programs out there for women in your position, if you look for them.



IWant2Believe
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01 Mar 2018, 11:02 pm

I feel pretty confident about having my baby and I'm really excited about it. I've been obsessively research and preparing so that's not what I'm worried about so much as the emotional aspect. I agree that I should try and reach out. I guess I am starting to isolate and that's when things usually start to slip for me. Especially because I live with emotionally ill people (my grandmother is an alcoholic I forgot to mention). And I know that getting me isolated is what abusers want.



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2018, 11:06 pm

but you communicating with us here is a solution.



IWant2Believe
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01 Mar 2018, 11:34 pm

I have a hard time relating to other women my age. The ones I tend to attract tend to be ones with serious issues or who try to take advantage of me. So throughout my pregnancy I've been isolating to protect myself so that I don't feel the need to self-Medicate. However I know this will not be an option forever. I have set up an appt with a psychiatrist so I can get back on my gabapentin which makes functioning easier for me. I wish my mom would go home. She's even admitted that she doesn't make things easier for me and that she knows I feel uneasy around her. She's kind of a gaslighter. But thankfully I've spent my life learning how to deal with her and others like her so I have a metaphorical shield up so to speak. I only wish I didn't have to shield myself all the time but such is life for now. I suppose everything is temporary. I am doing well on my online classes and keeping myself healthy and coping.



IWant2Believe
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01 Mar 2018, 11:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:
but you communicating with us here is a solution.

Thank you for replying. I was worried no one would respond. I worry about saying the wrong thing a lot.



kraftiekortie
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01 Mar 2018, 11:39 pm

Of course we will reply.

You said nothing “wrong.”



auntblabby
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01 Mar 2018, 11:47 pm

IWant2Believe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
but you communicating with us here is a solution.

Thank you for replying. I was worried no one would respond. I worry about saying the wrong thing a lot.

you're welcome :flower: ancient wise man said "when one is around the right people, there is no such thing as 'saying the wrong thing.'" :idea:



IWant2Believe
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02 Mar 2018, 12:00 am

Thanks to both/all of you! I literally almost cried just seeing what you both wrote. I think I will start posting more often.



auntblabby
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02 Mar 2018, 12:11 am

you're welcome :flower: i'm glad then, that you think of us as the right people :star:



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02 Mar 2018, 4:33 am

IWant2Believe wrote:
Hi everyone. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had just gotten out of jail for minor drug possession where I realized I was pregnant and came to terms with my own undiagnosed autism and why I was having so many problems I. Life. I am stuck living with my grandmother while I do school online and wait for the baby and my mother also moved in with us uninvited and it's very stressful. They don't know or understand that I'm on the spectrum I've tried to explain it but they're in denial. My mom has BPD and sometimes she bullies me. DI'll be having my little girl any day now. I had to start taking a small amt of kratom again (did my research thoroughly first) just so I can control the overstimulation/irritably and anxiety that I've felt with hormones added to asd. It's been very hard. I just need some support right now I'm feeling very isolated.


I think it's great you have a roof over your head in a secure home, how is your relationship with your grandmother?

It is possible that your baby could be born suffering from opioid withdrawal, it's going to make everything more difficult for both of you, is there any alternative to Kratom you could use or do to ease your irritability?

Regularly meeting other new mums is a good idea, it could help you feel less isolated, will introduce new ideas, ways to cope, and advice to share with other mums who share the same special interest.



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02 Mar 2018, 5:54 am

A baby can really help bring people together and in ideal circumstances having other people around can help you feel less isolated and also help provide you with well needed moments of rest and quiet. However, it can also be really tricky because you might have very different ideas how you want to care for your baby compared to the other people in your household. It is hard the first time to know what you will feel and be like as a mother. It came as a surprise to me that I had quite clear ideas of what I wanted and didn't want for my first child. In my experience... It is important that you believe in yourself as a mother. That you really take on board that you are all she will need! You have everything in your person that she could need. You are her world. You have all the tools. Those early months can be a very calm and peaceful time but they can also be a time for self-doubt and feeling overwhelmed - it is a pretty fast learning curve! Don't doubt yourself, it sounds like you are doing really great! You will be amazing. And please keep posting here.


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02 Mar 2018, 11:25 am

IWant2Believe wrote:
Hi everyone. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had just gotten out of jail for minor drug possession where I realized I was pregnant and came to terms with my own undiagnosed autism and why I was having so many problems I. Life. I am stuck living with my grandmother while I do school online and wait for the baby and my mother also moved in with us uninvited and it's very stressful. They don't know or understand that I'm on the spectrum I've tried to explain it but they're in denial. My mom has BPD and sometimes she bullies me. DI'll be having my little girl any day now. I had to start taking a small amt of kratom again (did my research thoroughly first) just so I can control the overstimulation/irritably and anxiety that I've felt with hormones added to asd. It's been very hard. I just need some support right now I'm feeling very isolated.


Congratulations! :D I can tell you that my baby girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Hang in there!



IWant2Believe
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02 Mar 2018, 9:43 pm

Amity wrote:
IWant2Believe wrote:
Hi everyone. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had just gotten out of jail for minor drug possession where I realized I was pregnant and came to terms with my own undiagnosed autism and why I was having so many problems I. Life. I am stuck living with my grandmother while I do school online and wait for the baby and my mother also moved in with us uninvited and it's very stressful. They don't know or understand that I'm on the spectrum I've tried to explain it but they're in denial. My mom has BPD and sometimes she bullies me. DI'll be having my little girl any day now. I had to start taking a small amt of kratom again (did my research thoroughly first) just so I can control the overstimulation/irritably and anxiety that I've felt with hormones added to asd. It's been very hard. I just need some support right now I'm feeling very isolated.


I think it's great you have a roof over your head in a secure home, how is your relationship with your grandmother?

It is possible that your baby could be born suffering from opioid withdrawal, it's going to make everything more difficult for both of you, is there any alternative to Kratom you could use or do to ease your irritability?

Regularly meeting other new mums is a good idea, it could help you feel less isolated, will introduce new ideas, ways to cope, and advice to share with other mums who share the same special interest.


It's highly unlikely that she will have any withdrawal from such a small dose given over such a short period of time. I do not even get wd's from it. I've read countless reports from others. I suppose anything is possible but I know there are women who use kratom or even methadone for their entire pregnancies and their babies have no w/d's. I could be wrong. Not trying to be s know it all but I wouldn't make any decision that I thought would hurt her and I think the stress is worse than a negligible dose for less than 2 weeks. I have not taken anything else the entire pregnancy hardly even Tylenol. My grandmother is an alcoholic who's very negative about everything lol. But she's a good person.