How can I hold myself together for the babies?

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I have been obsessed with babies for a few months. I long to hold and care for the babies, so I thought working with them would ease these infuriating urges, but I don't feel any differently about babies, unfortunately. I get emotional and sometimes teary thinking about babies or seeing something child-related, but when I'm actually caring for them, these feelings hit me so hard, very quickly and I can't help but become teary all of a sudden. I am trying not to cry, but I can't help it.

If I can identify the causes of my emotional outbursts, here are my best guesses:
. I find babies so beautiful and precious in general
. I feel particularly emotional when spending one on one time with the baby
. The babies settle/show affection a lot easier and quicker than I expect; I want to give the baby a lot more care & to show my worth before seeing the results
. Implementing/thinking of educational experiences (eg. songs) also triggers strong emotion, probably because I feel that those experiences are great for the development/enjoyment of children

I am a 20-year-old female with mild autism with a history of depression and anxiety. I did a placement with babies when I was 17, without emotional outbursts (before I was into babies), but I don't know why it's different now. I wish I could just cope like I did back then. I'm fine emotionally with ages 1+ btw, but I love babies.

It doesn't sound like your crying is bothering the babies, so I'd recommend just letting yourself cry if you feel like it. Trying to stop yourself from crying only makes it worse in my experience.
A few other reasons you might consider are:
1. Hormones. You're at that age, and the effects of hormonal fluctuations and surges can be pretty powerful.
2. You may be re-experiencing your own memories of being an infant. You might not consciously remember (most likely you don't) but some part of your mind does. If it's that, there are techniques for processing buried emotion (like hypnosis) that you could try.