Not wanting to date men with ASD?

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Is anyone else here reluctant to date men with Aspergers?. I have always found that relationships with Neurotypical men are far less stressful than men with Aspergers, most of the experts say that the best choice for a woman with Aspergers is a man with Aspergers due to their ability to understand you. But I have found that men with Aspergers are very different to women with Aspergers in a lot of ways, and often clash.

My counsellor makes out like I am some kind of evil monster for not wanting to date men with Aspergers but I just get so overwhelmed by the thought of being in a relationship with a man with Aspergers, I just don't think I would be able to cope with them and their issues.

Is it wrong for me to want to only date Neurotypical men?

Why should anyone be considered an evil monster for having preferences in dating?
Date whoever you want and don't date whoever you don't want. Just play fair with others.

Of course it's not wrong, but keep in mind that since you don't want to date aspie men it'd be hypocritical of you to be upset if someone rejected you because of your aspergers. If you don't want a certain type of partner then I'm sure you'd understand why others don't want that type, either.

It's probably true that two aspies could understand each other well in theory, as in they could understand why the other does this or that, but can they actually handle the other person's weird traits? That's something no one can know for sure without trying... of course, it'd be same with an NT man. Maybe you could handle each other's weirdness, maybe you couln't. So personally I think it'd be for the best to forget a partner's neurology and just treat them as a person of their own.

I would have no problem dating a guy who is ASD.

Some people can make an ASD-ASD relationship work, others can’t. It depends mostly on one’s level of functioning.

If you feel more comfortable with an NT, that’s fine too.

It depends. When I was single, I wasn't really looking for a man with an ASD. The thought of dating someone who's rather nerdy and could be prone to meltdowns and obsessed with Star Wars didn't turn me on. But, saying that, if I got together with an Aspie man who didn't really have any stereotypical behaviours and was quirky instead of nerdy and had a good sense of humour and didn't stim or anything, then I might have gone for it.

I'm in a relationship with a neurotypical man, and we are just like any other couple. We have a few differences, like he's into heavy rock music while I prefer country music, or he enjoys movies with more action while I prefer movies with more emotion in, but those differences aren't because of one of us being Aspie. Most couples have different tastes in music and films. But there are music and film types that we BOTH like too.

I wouldn't go out of my way to only date men with ASD specifically I guess I would say, but I wouldn't say no either as long as they were high functioning, didn't have stereotypical ASD behaviors, was self sufficient and not needy (i.e. someone that has a career and isn't living on SSI/SSDI or needs constant attention/reassurance).

Well are you basing this on personal experience with actually dating a guy with ASD? Or are you basing it on stereotypes you've heard or read? I personally would discourage a pre-emtive decision like that, because it might get in the way of actually seeing an individual...you might miss out if you pre-judge someone as incompatible simply for having ASD. I mean I wouldn't say you should specifically seek out people with ASD if you have doubts about it working out....but might be limiting to have that as a dealbreaker.

I get along MUCH better with men who are very patient, have good social skills and who like people. Whether they are aspie or not.