What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

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Hi everyone! My parents only told me last month that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a child, and have been doing some research on it since then.

The reason why I want to know about the meltdowns is because I've noticed that I'm prone to have uncontrollable "crying fits" when I get stressed or frustrated. Sometimes I stifle a shriek and, if I'm at home, I run to my room and hit a pillow until I get exhausted. Is this how meltdown look like in women? Is this normal?

As long as you're not hurting yourself then go for it. But yeah I guess that's pretty standard, perhaps you could maybe look at going to the gym or a boxing gym to help with when you feel frustrated? Just that it may be a bit healthier if you feel comfortable enough.

I never hurt myself on purpose. I do go to the gym, but that's something I do when I feel bored, have nothing else to do or just have too much energy and need to do something about it. When I'm frustrated it's different: it usually happens when I have a strong argument with somebody and can't find the way to make people understand me, or when I make some big mistake and someone criticizes me. I can't hold my reaction until I put my gym clothes on and walk for fifteen minutes to get there. My tears flow out almost instantly.

On the other hand, physical activity has helped me a lot to cope with negative feelings and ideas in times when I had enough control over my actions to plan these "outings" and carry them out.

I tend to get physical/violent when I have meltdowns. I throw/hit/break things and usually scream and yell while going ballistic. I have a designated corner in my basement where I can go on 'dossa smash mode' when I need to in an effort to try to not damage myself or my house. I'm sure I look like a lunatic while doing this. Heh. But I break a lot less phones and put a lot less holes in my walls this way.

From what you describe though, I would say yeah, it sounds to me that what you have going on is a meltdown. I know for me, it is something I cannot help or stop... it's just gonna happen, and it's going to keep happening until it runs its course... like I can't say oh I'm going to fall apart for three minutes and then I'll quit. It's like that stuff sets its own timer. But yeah, the lack of control at the onset speaks volumes to me.

I have a psychologist to whom I tell most of my troubles and I can usually trust my parents, but this has recently changed...

A few weeks ago, while my parents were away on holidays, I had a talk with my sister, who is studying to be a psychologist, and she revealed to me that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. So I have just learned of my diagnosis, and I know my parents never told me because they didn't want me to know. They wanted me to grow up thinking I was NT, and maybe even become one with time. So then I had to cope with the news without telling them what was happening to me, because I didn't want to confront them for not telling me. I got depressed, and I had meltdowns like these every day for a week.

I have made some research now and am learning to accept myself, even if they don't. It's been many days since my last 'crying fit' now, so I think things are getting better.

During Trump's election I took a comb and sawed violently over my arms until it left scratches. That's the closest I've ever come to self-mutilation, except all the times I've punched my arms until I got big ugly bruises all over.

Yelling and throwing things.

I actually got in trouble for yelling at a student last week. I'm now done with being a substitute teacher again, at least for awhile.

I just had one this morning, angry, throwing things, then broke down and cried on the bed. I couldn't stop crying, and all because the shower suddenly stopped working and I couldn't have a shower, which messed up my morning routine and left me feeling dirty and smelly too.

Those are pretty much mine, except that I trained myself not to cry years and years and years ago (something I'm now trying to reverse), so instead I tend to scream and bellow.

Sometimes I still kick things. Not very often. I did have to go hide down by the creak and scream and kick trees the day my grandmother died (about a month ago). Once in a great while, I beat the living crap out of a pillow (I mean seriously; when I'm done I have to pick up the stuffing and put the whole mess in a trash bag).

When I was younger (teenager), I used to punch walls and break stuff. I had one wall I was allowed to hit, and I was allowed to walk up on the ridge to where people went to drink and smash all the bottles I wanted.

I don't have them very often any more. I do, however, use a really prolific amount of profanity and gripe a lot when things don't work right.

I don't think you can ever really stop them from happening. You can learn to recognize the signs and get out of a situation before you lose it in an uncontrolled, public, or dangerous manner, but-- sooner or later, you have to do something. Because if you don't, you either get really, really sick, or something explodes.

I think it's a pretty dangerous myth that has been propagated that mentally healthy, normal people never show sadness or anger.

I cry my eyes out during a meltdown. Being alone doesn't help though. When I tell someone, I do feel much better. I don't like to suffer alone.

I cry and get totally non-verbal for a while. I need to be alone in my room, no people talking to me or touching me. I never get the yelling/smashing things type of a meltdown, just those crying mute ones.

I don't really have typical meltdowns.

I just come across as confused or dreamy to NT's and am unable to process what they say to me, and need to be left alone in a quiet space for a while to rest and recover.

I usually apologize and say I am tired and they don't even notice anything unusual because I have a chronic physical illness too.

I have noticed that it happens to me much more frequently when I am not rested enough.

The problem is that i sometimes do not realize that i am tired...

I cry and can't stop it and start breathing very fast and jerkily, feeling very much confused, sometimes i fall and sit on the floor. If people come and ask me to speak, i may start yelling and it is getting worse.


when I start crying:
- I try to quickly find a lonely place
- force myself to breathe very slow, or if worse, I stop breathing for 30 seconds, several times, this helps a lot
- shut down the lights
- sleep if I can

I think that sleeping good and enough is really the key. You too?