A rant about being female

Post Reply New Topic

I’ve been having a tough time with my skin. I wash my face and cover it up with makeup. Breakouts and oily skin is a bad thing. I used to believe that being female is a gift and women should try to be as girly and ditzy as possible. Now l think that being girly and forcing myself to be ditzy is wasting my time.

I enjoy being female still but due to my looking the way I do my hair, feet and everything else about me is far from poised and graceful. I might as well just play my video games and watch anime and give up trying to be flawless and prissy.

I’ve also developed facial tics. That’s not womanly at all. I love my gender. Right now I’m wearing a men’s retro style my little pony t shirt and black pajama pants and my hair is hideous as always. I want to be that graceful, poised girly girl who everyone loves. Instead I’m stuck being an average girl whose only comfort is stuffed animals, video games, coloring and her cat. No sushi dates and walk in straight out of the Pottery Barn catalog closet filled with designer clothes average girls would only be able to dream about having.

Why do you think women should be as ditzy as possible? That's just bizarre. Your view of what it means to be a woman seems to be a rather odd stereotype. You do not need to be girly, ditzy, poised, graceful, flawless, or prissy to be a woman.

Wear whatever clothing you feel physically comfortable with not what you think might make you popular. Similarly do whatever you want to do with your life.

Breakouts or oily skin are just normal for some people. There is no need to cover your face with makeup if you don't want to. Having facial tics says nothing about you as a person and doesn't make you any less womanly. Being female isn't a gift any more than being male is.

Just be yourself, not some odd stereotype from a past age, or from films, or wherever else your ideas on what constitutes being a woman have come from.

well, that's a thing i completely missed out on
when i was a teen i couldn't understand the idea of attracting people by not being who you are, really
what's the idea of that? how can you keep that up, ever?

Men like all sorts of women. Even women who have survived breast cancer.

If you want to be graceful that doesn't come naturally, especially if we are talking about walking around in high heels. That only comes with practice.

I have my own issues with being female. But I don't let them bother me that much.

I'm not ditzy, I'm not girly, I've never been sweet but I can share my cure for oily, problematic skin: Omega-3. I don't know why but applying omega-3 - rich oils mixed with face cream or even instead of it makes all the difference.
Currently I'm using rose seed oil and mix it with some hipstery paraffin-free face cream. But even simple flax oil will do.

I don't dig "ditzy" women myself. It irritates me when women "dumb down" to seem attractive to men.

I will not be pretending I'm something I'm not or putting junk all over my face in a vain attempt to make myself appear more attractive to men. I don't need men for anything at ALL.

In my experience the best way to feel good about yourself is to stop comparing yourself to other people. Everybody has their own sh't they have to deal with. Every graceful, poised girly-girl still says stupid stuff, has bad hair days and people who tear her down the second she can't meet their selfish expectations. The fact is we're all human, and even people who seem like they have it all together really don't. So let go of what you think you "should" be like and just be who you are. As you say, doing anything else is wasting your time.

Yes, you don't really know whether that pretty girl you envy has or will be involuntarily committed for mental health issues. Who likely envies someone that does have their s**t together.

I think one of the best things for your self-esteem is to create your own self-image that you like, and forget about every one else's opinion.

I like hats, and after seeing this one physical therapist for a couple years off and on, she mentioned that I'm stylish. That surprised me! But I guess this just meant I am aware of my appearance and choose accessories and clothing that appeal to me and form a consistent image. I make unique choices and I guess it usually works. But remember, I'm in my 60s and have had plenty of time to work on this.

There's no way to create your self-image without trying on a lot of personality styles. Most people do this naturally during adolescence, but people with autism are typically a bit delayed. Nothing wrong with that. Love yourself and work on creating a self that is genuine and you can like.

This is really sexist …

People expect women to be ditzy but they also expect men to be beer swilling morons. People want everyone dumb and any woman who isn't will be seen as masculine and any man who isn't will be seen as soft. Just ignore that.

Dress for your own comfort then develop your own style within this.

You need more self esteem and to stop being internally misogynistic. Internalised bigotries can be hard to overcome though.

I didnt know acting ditzy was a thing. I thought some people just were that way naturally.

I agree with TUF, these views you have about what is womanly and feminine is pretty sexist.

Skin problems aren't subject to a gender, and having them doesn't make you more or less of a guy or female. Heck even cats can get acne. My hormones still find it prevalent to give me break outs at 31 but it's crap to do with how womanly I am. I just have to deal with them. Btw, people with oily skin are less likely to have as many wrinkles as they age

If you have to force to be be a certain way that is contrary to how you feel, it's a pretty good indicator that you really shouldn't do it. Besides being insincere it makes it so that you are denying who you are. If you enjoy dressing up, wearing makeup and being prissy then that's fine, if you don't enjoy it then that's fine too! You are you, if you feel best in a t-shirt and pants then that is your brand of female and there is nothing wrong with it.

There are many types of people and for that reason they like many different kinds of people. Some guys like strong women, some like goth, some like alternative/hippy types, some guys want arm candy so they will be willing to put up with her high maintenance, but other guys will run the other direction from that.

Media and fashion culture like to tell people what you should be and look like but its crap. It's only one brand of person and frankly it's also pretty fake and superficial. It might be nice to dream about pretty things but that's all it is; things with no substance. That's all you will generally see on Instagram, its an image, an idea but that's all. You can make the cover a book look as pretty as you want but it doesn't mean much if the pages are blank.

Figure out what you like, who you want to be that isn't based on images but with how it makes you feel. It will feel so much better when someone likes you for that person than it ever would if they were liking you for you upholding those pretenses. Being true to yourself, not letting other define you, and valuing who you are inside, THAT is how a bada$$ woman does things.