Should I pursue an assessment?

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Hi,

I know this topic must have been raised many times, but I would like a little advice. I am an older female (nearly 60) and my son has a formal diagnosis of AS. It has been suggested that I may also be on the autism spectrum, but I have never felt the need to pursue formal assessment until recently.

About five years ago, I gave up a professional post to work largely from home (self employed) and I have reflected that many of the problems I experienced in the workplace (no filter on what I said, over-disclosure of personal issues, inability to socialise with colleagues) could have arisen from undiagnosed ASD.

Problems with social interaction plagued my life at school and I experienced a long and serious eating disorder in my teens and twenties which led to frequent hospitalisation.

My ability to focus intensely on certain things has enabled me to gain high academic qualifications, but difficulties with social interaction meant that I never had a 'romantic' relationship until I was in my late thirties and this, perhaps fortunately, was with a man who has AS.

We married, but no longer live together and living separately suits us both better. I am very disorganised and struggle with domestic chores. I also like a lot of time to focus on work and my current interests.

I now feel that pursuing a diagnosis would help me make sense of some of the events in my life. It may also help provide context for some work related issues (intense anxiety when meeting clients or going to unfamiliar locations). However, screening tests show I would not meet the criteria for diagnosis and I am reluctant to spend time and (probably) money going for assessment, if it would not be conclusive.

Elements on the screening tests that indicate fewer autistic traits are that I love fiction (I get engrossed in stories), I would rather go to the theatre than to a library (although I hang out in libraries quite a lot) and I can understand sarcasm, irony and humour (in fact, I have studied this in my academic work).

In your opinion, should I go for an assessment, or accept the fact that, at my age, a diagnosis or not, is not essential.

Thanks

CAPTCHA is blocking my full post. Trying a portion:

If the Pros equal or outweigh the Cons: my vote is Get that diagnosis!! !

What are pros and cons for you? Top of my head for me:
* Pro: Officially "fit" (8) -know others stand with me to accept/assert myself, Diagnosis ASD used for me (?)
* Con: Cost (4), Diagnosis not ASD (3); Diagnosis ASD used against me (?)

I've already found an ASD counselor, so with or without the diagnosis I am receiving support. The ASD support group I go to feels like a really good fit, but what if I'm an inadvertent imposter? (that applies to this board also) If I am not ASD, I am certainly BAP.

So many folks say "don't be labelled" but what if the label fits? I'd rather reduce the stigmatism than hide. I am already embracing my authentic self more kindly and powerfully. I look forward to more.

I am self-diagnosed ASD (hypersensitive type in many ways) and my BFF is Aspie-like (hyposensitive type in many ways). Your issues are similar to ours. My daughter is likely ASD (just got a referral for testing), my issue in my youth was cutting instead of eating disorders (although I had issues with an extremely low-fat diet). Mine was studying psychology and communication (along side my engineering degree) instead of specifically sarcasm, et al. My BFF has a relationship similar to yours (as did her Aspie parents). The overall tone of your writing is comfortable to me.

I score high NT aside a higher ASD on the RDOS test. Actually, being engrossed in fiction is suggested as Aspie-like for girls/women. For sarcasm, irony and humor, I enjoy asking for clarification because I am unassuming or see it differently - does that mean I don't understand? I have big issue with the whole "ASD folks don't understand" --- I am an empath and can "too" readily tell that most NT folks (not most ASD folks) are bored 2 minutes into my Special Interest. Just because I continue doesn't mean I don't understand. Sheez.

The problem with an Assessment is that it is just a professional judgement call, rather than a conclusive medical test.

Instead, I would read blogs and books to see if your experiences match those of diagnosed women on the spectrum. Can you copy the things those women do to reduce stress in your life? Most likely you would do that anyway if you were diagnosed. Do you finding remarkably similar life experiences?

Been there, done that.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-a ... checklist/

Hello HarHer and welcome to WP.

Above I attached a resource which I find is quite helpful for women, pre-assessment.

I don't know how to answer the fiction / nonfiction question myself even though I'm an avid reader and I'm obsessed with books as my special interest. I am primarily obsessed with Victorian fiction and I reread the same novels ad nauseam, but I also read biographies about the authors, literary criticism, literary history, and rhetoric. In fact, I likely read more of those nonfiction selections because there are new publications whereas the number of Victorian novels is finite. My nonfiction reading always pertains to my favourite authors of fiction. They're connected. Regardless, I don't believe it really matters one way or another which you prefer.

Re: Theatre / Library.
I remember asking the assessment doctor to clarify. Which type of theatre? Is it a cinema with people chewing popcorn and making slurping sounds on their straws? I don't understand movies and have never had much of an interest since I prefer to read, plus I don't like the sensory issues at cinemas. Does theatre mean stage productions / musical theatre? I like that because people aren't eating popcorn or slurping drinks, and I don't have to follow the story as closely as a movie. I like the music and dancing. The seats are very comfortable and much better than cinemas. Is the library a quiet, studious library? We all have a stereotype of beautiful serene libraries, but despite the fact I love to read it's common for today's libraries to be noisy with children's activities and community gatherings. They sometimes have fluorescent lights and large sunny windows, as opposed to a darkened theatre. People talk on their mobile and the clerks don't often reinforce quiet. In that case, a library sounds horrible.

I think you get the idea. ^ The questions can be interpreted many ways and autistic people need all the details before making a choice. Everything "depends".

You'll find that if you do pursue an assessment, there is a lot more involved than the answers to these types of subjective questions. There is a lot of IQ testing in areas you wouldn't think to be relevant, and it's the big picture which matters more than individual answers on these prescribed tests.

Thank you for these replies. They are all extremely helpful. The checklist is very interesting. Words and language really fascinate me and this was my area of academic interest. I still have imaginary friends. They have grown with me and, in many ways, help me to rehearse conversations. Daydreaming is also another way in which I explore possibilities.

I also began studying autism and working in the field of autism when my eldest son was diagnosed. This led me to speculate that perhaps I was overthinking and perhaps 'appropriating' characteristics of autism in myself. However, I think it is also possible that we may be drawn to people and subjects with which we can identify. I know one of the criteria I used when I started dating was that my partner and I should be able to sit together without feeling the need to converse.

I think I will pursue assessment further, but I will read more about the personal experiences of females with autism and this forum may be a good place to start.

You may want to find out how long it will take to get an assessment, particularly if you are in the UK and plan to get it via NHS. In the USA I could buy a new wardrobe for the cost of an assessment, and get tons of "retail therapy" in the process!

Thank you. You are right, waiting times can be ridiculously long. I have heard of individuals waiting for over three years for an NHS assessment. I also feel a little uncomfortable drawing on resources that are enormously overstretched. This is why I think I may consider seeking a private diagnosis. However, I do need to explore issues of cost.