Angry

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I’m really angry at every woman who thinks that being feminine doesn’t matter. My body type is very feminine because I have large boobs and wide hips. If I lose anymore weight, I won’t have a DD or larger bra size and no butt.

I know I have to lose weight and I’m working towards it. Is there any way to look girly and feminine if you have no boobs and butt?

Of course there is!

I’ve known many feminine people with no boobs and butt.

You know you’re feminine. If somebody else doesn’t think so, it’s that person’s problem.

Femininity is more than just how one dresses or wears her hair.

(Sorry. Didn’t realize that I was posting in the Woman’s Forum at first).

If it matters to you, then it matters.

Personally, I go between dressing feminine and dressing more androgynously. It very much depends on the day for me, some days I wake up and want to present myself as feminine. Other days dressing in a feminine manner would just feel wrong / make me uncomfortable. If someone were to tell me that I wasn't allowed to switch between the two styles anymore, I'd be rather sad. Of course, I'd ignore them and do it anyway most likely. There's nothing wrong with wanting to solely present as feminine. It doesn't suit me since I'd become uncomfortable if I couldn't switch between the two. However, that's me and people are different.

On days where I want to be seen as feminine, I am seen as such and it is indeed possible. I have a rectangular lanky body and I'm small-chested. I can still wear flowy dresses, skirts and t-shirts with traditionally more feminine patterns. Presenting as masculine or feminine is about the style you show and how you present yourself. Not your weight or your height. The important part is taking care of yourself and finding ways to feel comfortable.

Well that depends on what looking "girly and feminine" means to you.

If it's your weight loss you are concerned about...unless you lose too much weight, it's very unlikely that you'll have no breasts or butt fat at all.

If I lose 35 more pounds my total loss will be 67 pounds. When I think weight loss I think of success stories that have lost over 100 pounds. Maybe even lost over 200 pounds. There has been pressure on me to be the thin and fit green smoothie girl since 8th grade rather than the cute and quirky chubby girl that I actually like and feel good being. I love feminine babydoll tops and smocked sundresses. They look good on chubby girls (keep in mind I have a 36.5 to 40 inch waist depending on my period).

The opinions that should matter when it comes to your weight:

1. Yours
2. Your doctor's (i.e. is your current weight a health problem)

That is the whole list. If you prefer to be a bit chubby and curvy and your doctor says you are healthy, then NO ONE ELSE'S OPINION MATTERS. If you change your mind and want to see how it feels to have that skinny runner/ballerina body, ask your doctor if that weight would he healthy for you, and how to achieve it safely. But only if that's what YOU want.

One additional thing to consider - it's annoying to have to buy all new clothing. Just something to factor in when forming your opinion.

Thank you for saying this. I have a physical next month. I just really love my body for what it is.

Then there's no reason to change unless your doctor recommends it.

you sound like you have a healthy mentality

hope you don't get agitated, the world will throw images and ideals and conflicting opinions at you-- especially as you're a young woman---

but people don't have your brain or body or place where you are in life, just their own.


can make a scrapbook of loveliness in your mind (or use tumblr, or something like that, or collages), of types of styles---

that you like, if that's on your mind..


over time whatever you like, will just come together



when you get a chance in real life to buy something
or receive it- u can recognzie oh thats my style and feel comfortable..

if someone's uncomfortable
everything can be jarring and awkward,
even if it's the most expensive thing chosen by professional stylists..the mindset matters (i think).
or even if they look like what the magazines want them to look like.. their body, hair, everything.

thats why people like whatsherface, that model kate moss,

because designers could put the most variety of style - even the ugliest. weirdest. most random things --

on her//

in her mind she finds a way to accept/ harmonize them with herself-
so she is at ease -

and that ease looks like grace, stylishness, femininity (not sure EXACTLY what that means for appearances--
but since u used that word).


even though honestly she had no (what u mentioned) curves when she was most popular/famous, especially --

but that didnt take away from the grace and comfort/confidence that she showed on the catwalk..



because if u dont like something u cant hold urself comfortably , ur mind wont accept it ,

with things u like, even like your body and whatnot..
it becomes harmonious
and harmony is part of grace (and maybe femininity? )