Do women really have more normal looking special interests?

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Balbituate
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17 Dec 2017, 4:12 pm

I've heard this on a lot of female aspie trait lists. So far this hasn't been super true for me. While I have had normal special interests like dolls as a kid or makeup as an adult, most of my special interests are pretty odd.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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17 Dec 2017, 4:18 pm

Mine were odd for the time period I was born into. I'm a lifelong nerdy nerdy science geek and when I was a kid it was all-consuming. This was definitely not what little girls did back then, and I didn't "grow out of it" in high school or college, it got worse if anything :-)


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MariaTheFictionkin
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17 Dec 2017, 4:54 pm

Sex is a very big special interest of mine. I'm also a person who sleeps and cuddles and even speaks to stuffed animals at times believing that they have souls inhabited inside them. Being in a relationship with a fictional character is another big one as I have a passion for the character, Shadow the Hedgehog. I'm a complete nerd when it comes to Sonic the Hedgehog series as well. A tom-boy who loves Pokémon, Digimon and other monster collecting titles. I'm also a fan, label me as a furry if you must, of anthropomorphic animals - if the above didn't hint to that idea at all.


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17 Dec 2017, 5:01 pm

Mine have never been "normal-looking." The closest I got was animals when I was younger, but even that was frowned upon by my peers because my favorites were insects, which other girls usually thought were gross for some reason. Now mine are the band Tool and Hellraiser, so, um...yeah.


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17 Dec 2017, 5:03 pm

I've had some pretty normal interests, like play structures and my stuffed animals and books. But other interests I've had were rather odd, like reading grammar books and parenting magazines when I was seven.



Balbituate
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17 Dec 2017, 5:16 pm

TheAP wrote:
I've had some pretty normal interests, like play structures and my stuffed animals and books. But other interests I've had were rather odd, like reading grammar books and parenting magazines when I was seven.

LOL I used to read parenting magazines and articles all the time when I was around ten or something. A few years later I found out my sister did the same thing.



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17 Dec 2017, 7:08 pm

MariaTheFictionkin wrote:
Sex is a very big special interest of mine. I'm also a person who sleeps and cuddles and even speaks to stuffed animals at times believing that they have souls inhabited inside them. Being in a relationship with a fictional character is another big one as I have a passion for the character, Shadow the Hedgehog. I'm a complete nerd when it comes to Sonic the Hedgehog series as well. A tom-boy who loves Pokémon, Digimon and other monster collecting titles. I'm also a fan, label me as a furry if you must, of anthropomorphic animals - if the above didn't hint to that idea at all.


That's a lot like me. I'm not very interested in sex, but I am the same way with my stuffed animals and plushies. I have imaginary friends and a significant other that is a fictional character. I'm really in love with them.


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18 Dec 2017, 12:23 pm

As a child, my special interests included things like books, rocks, and shells, which most would consider "normal" interests for a young girl. I learned to mask other special interests, like Pokémon, once I figured out that they made me stand out as "nerdy." (Hiding was a common theme of middle and high school.) Books were especially important in my life, as they served as an avenue for learning about the behaviors and feelings of others, and they were also useful as a social barrier to undesirable conversation attempts made by others.
As an adult, I have learned to embrace my nerdiness. The special interest in shells has abated, but rocks are still an important part of my life. I have taken five earth science college courses, and each was a fascinating challenge. When engaging in a camping adventure, I can (and will often) spend an entire day observing and sorting local rocks. Other than the collection of and main interest in rocks, I cycle through periods of intense interest in different areas. Sex was one for a while, although that was mainly while figuring out the whole relationship thing and has diminished by now. Jewelry-making has been an intermittent favorite for years, as well as painting and sculpting. Most days, I am not in the right mood to do most of these. When I am in the mood, I can continue all day, forgoing food and grudgingly succumbing to my bladder.
My special interests to the external world may appear "normal," but that is due to the fact that I have carefully selected the hobbies that are socially palatable to display prominently. I have been hyper-aware of my differences from the majority of the population since I started going to kindergarten, but I just playfully figured that I was an alien or something. I didn't understand the source of the differences until the last couple of years. Since then, my façade of "normality" has fallen slightly, but I am only happier because of it.



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18 Dec 2017, 12:59 pm

I knew plenty of "girl-nerds" growing up. I tended to be attracted to them.

There was one on a show called "Dobie Gillis." One character was a "nerdy-smart" high school girl who liked this guy named Dobie, who was sort of a klutz, yet conventionally good-looking. I used to like it when she wriggled her nose; Dobie used to say to her: "cut that out!" when she wriggled her nose.

There was a girl named Gwen when I went to high school. She was quiet and philosophical. I liked her; she didn't like me.

One of my best friends had a sister my age who was nerdy and sort of sardonic. I liked her, too. She might have liked me had I not been the best friend of her brother. We were both 15---but she was much more mature than I was then.



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18 Dec 2017, 7:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I knew plenty of "girl-nerds" growing up. I tended to be attracted to them.

There was one on a show called "Dobie Gillis." One character was a "nerdy-smart" high school girl who liked this guy named Dobie, who was sort of a klutz, yet conventionally good-looking. I used to like it when she wriggled her nose; Dobie used to say to her: "cut that out!" when she wriggled her nose.

There was a girl named Gwen when I went to high school. She was quiet and philosophical. I liked her; she didn't like me.

One of my best friends had a sister my age who was nerdy and sort of sardonic. I liked her, too. She might have liked me had I not been the best friend of her brother. We were both 15---but she was much more mature than I was then.


I fail to understand how your thoughts relate to "Do Women Really Have More Normal Looking Special Interests?" the topic of this thread. Further explanation of your ideas may be required, because the current message I am receiving is that you are attracted to nerdy girls. While that statement is all fine and dandy, there is likely a different thread that is more categorically aligned with your ideas.



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18 Dec 2017, 8:17 pm

Depends on who you ask, I guess. There are weirder things out there than insects or dinosaurs, which were my favorites when I was little, but it wasn't typical for little girls.



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18 Dec 2017, 10:46 pm

My interests were certainly not seen as typical by everyone else, but I consider them normal. Books have always been a huge interest. I also used to be interested in fossils, rocks, computers (building and programming), and astronomy. Makeup, hair, boys, dolls, and other typical girl interests were just boring (and still are). These have changed a bit as I grew up but I do still have a library's worth of books and build my own computers.



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19 Dec 2017, 8:47 pm

when i was younger i was OBSESSED WITH
magic tricks
geology (obsessed like crazy)
certain areas of travel
and other things deemed 'odd'
i was obsessed with helen keller and Lucy maud montgomery, there was not a book out there i hadn't read about them


as i got older i became obsessed with makeup
at about age 14 i had FILES of printouts and notes on makeup, beauty articles (vintage), interviews of people, books on the history and politics of makeup etc.

i kept this up till now.
so i guess it depends what 'odd' or normal is.
Salesladies sometimes seem shocked at how much i know.


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AntisocialButterfly
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20 Dec 2017, 7:49 am

My parents always said I was very obsessive with things in a way that was abnormal. My longest special interest is reading, which is socially acceptable, but i think I had some of the only parents who tried to stop their child reading because apparently I was trying to escape from life.

So I guess the interest itself was normal. But the level was apparently abnormal.

Later on my other big special interest became programming which is maybe considered more abnormal for girls, but I don't think that much in this day and age *shrugs*.



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20 Dec 2017, 8:52 am

Seasmoke wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I knew plenty of "girl-nerds" growing up. I tended to be attracted to them.

There was one on a show called "Dobie Gillis." One character was a "nerdy-smart" high school girl who liked this guy named Dobie, who was sort of a klutz, yet conventionally good-looking. I used to like it when she wriggled her nose; Dobie used to say to her: "cut that out!" when she wriggled her nose.

There was a girl named Gwen when I went to high school. She was quiet and philosophical. I liked her; she didn't like me.

One of my best friends had a sister my age who was nerdy and sort of sardonic. I liked her, too. She might have liked me had I not been the best friend of her brother. We were both 15---but she was much more mature than I was then.


I fail to understand how your thoughts relate to "Do Women Really Have More Normal Looking Special Interests?" the topic of this thread. Further explanation of your ideas may be required, because the current message I am receiving is that you are attracted to nerdy girls. While that statement is all fine and dandy, there is likely a different thread that is more categorically aligned with your ideas.


He was pointing out that nerdyness alone in a female, while not common, isn't that unusual. This followed the other comments on interests being too nerdy to be considered normal for a girl.

As another commenter has put I think it is the level of interest/obsession that is the not normal bit rather than the subject matter itself.



kraftiekortie
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20 Dec 2017, 9:47 am

I sense that many Aspergian type women/girls have interests which can be esoteric, and similar in intensity to men/boys with Aspergian traits.

Many don’t fit the stereotypically “feminine” framework—though some do.

There is a sense that there is a “female” type of Aspergers/HFA—-and I believe this exists.

However, there are females who are more “conventionally” Aspergian. And the presentation of Kanner autism is quite similar in all genders.