Overprotective parents?
xxZeromancerlovexx
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Do you think there’s a connection between autism and overprotective parents?
While occasionally my mom did have to say no to a few things (one of my ex boyfriends staying at the house overnight and going to school with my cleavage showing mainly) she wasn’t overprotective.
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Last edited by xxZeromancerlovexx on 08 Aug 2020, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
dragonsanddemons
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I certainly wouldn’t call my parents over-protective, especially not my dad, but then again I’m usually the oddity that does not fit the general trend.
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My parents are comparably lax and I still even would rather go behind their backs.
My issue isn't my parents' being overprotective.
But being too involved in times I don't want them to interfere, and uninvolved at times when I would've want them to.
They're decent, good enough... But not reliable.
Unreliable enough to distrust them more than not, and distrust them enough to drive them all away from any issues I have.
I'd take a bet, with parents generally just more misses than hits.
Even with all their best intents, sometimes their best will still give more misses than not.
To blame which or whose fault is would be pointless.
As far as I've known, parenting is already hard and tricky by itself while autism multiplies that.
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For sure.
I have a physical disability so my mom coddled me a bit. I got into my first romantic relationship (long distance) when I was 21. I fell for this guy really quickly and after a year and a half he ended horribly. I quickly entered my second (long distance) and that ended just as worse. I met both in person but they were strictly long distance due to neither of them taking it seriously like I was.
My parents basically micromanaged my life from there and took away my right to be online or go anywhere alone. I was 23 at the time but they were VERY overly protective of me because they said I was being too naive.
Decent parents don't wish to see their child in pain. If your behavior reminds them of their past mistakes or they see their own vulnerabilities in you, they overprotect. They do this because they are certain of a horrible outcome from what you're currently involved in. My parents were strange and screamed at me if I complained, so I kept my mouth shut and enrolled in the School of Hard Knocks. I think it's best when parents intervene - you'll lose less - like money, friends, jobs, self respect, your health, etc...
While occasionally my mom did have to say no to a few things (one of my ex boyfriends staying at the house overnight and going to school with my cleavage showing mainly) she wasn’t overprotective.
Are you asking if autism causes over-protective parenting? If so, the answer ranges from "Possible" to "Very Likely".
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My dad is a bad dad and not over protective at all. Can't even protect me from his own temper.
My mum gets accused of being overprotective but usually by people who end up not having my best interests in mind.
I think it should depend on the individual to say if their parents are overprotective or not. Not social norms. If so, my mum is slightly overprotective.
But nowhere near as bad as some people have made her out to be before they ended up hurting me after I had a row with her about being overprotective.
And yeah, it doesn't cause autism. In my opinion, I genetically got that from my dad.
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While occasionally my mom did have to say no to a few things (one of my ex boyfriends staying at the house overnight and going to school with my cleavage showing mainly) she wasn’t overprotective.
Wow be careful. This type of question didn't end well for me.
Anyway. I think to much meddling and assistance exacerbates autism but it never causes it.
xxZeromancerlovexx
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While occasionally my mom did have to say no to a few things (one of my ex boyfriends staying at the house overnight and going to school with my cleavage showing mainly) she wasn’t overprotective.
Wow be careful. This type of question didn't end well for me.
Anyway. I think to much meddling and assistance exacerbates autism but it never causes it.
Why didn’t it end well? My mom is amazing. We are more like best friends than a mom and daughter.
_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
While occasionally my mom did have to say no to a few things (one of my ex boyfriends staying at the house overnight and going to school with my cleavage showing mainly) she wasn’t overprotective.
Wow be careful. This type of question didn't end well for me.
Anyway. I think to much meddling and assistance exacerbates autism but it never causes it.
Why didn’t it end well? My mom is amazing. We are more like best friends than a mom and daughter.
I made a very similar topic about a week ago questioning if over accommodating for autism effectively made a lot of autistic people unable to properly look after themselves when they might well have been capable of. Iv'e seen the overprotective parents you mention and their grown up aspie "kids" they produce which was the exact prompt for making my original thread. This one aspie woman in particular drove me utterly insane with her complete refusal to do anything by herself, she even had her laptop personally delivered to her by her friends relatives 10 miles away because she refused to get on a bus to pick it up despite using busses many times. She had clearly became so used to having her every desire met that it was her way of life and any attempt to change her was met with fierce opposition (no surprise) and I think she was anxious too which is also no surprise seeing she's in her 30s and still haven't done a single "adult" thing in her life. I certainly think overprotective parents make symptoms of autism worse and long term make a child that turns into an incapable adult a lot more often than they realise.
It didn't end well for being abelist apparently. I said that mandatory free driving lessons and extra work training will help a lot of aspies but for some reason a lot of people misread it as proposing to strip everyone of their .........government benefits???....... of all things. It was also on the path to Nazi ideology apparently. I never knew mandatory free driving lessons and work training was given to disabled people under Nazi government but I guess we learn something new every day.
Parents are more likely to be overprotective of children who have a disability or otherwise struggle. The disability/struggle/label will cause some parents to become overprotective.
Overprotective parenting likely does not cause autism. However, it could make children less self-reliant, take opportunities away to practice social skills, prevent them from gaining life experience, reduce self-esteem, cause social anxiety and hamper the development of resilience, thereby making autistic symptoms more noticeable or making the transition to adulthood and independence harder.
Parents are more likely to be overprotective of children who have a disability or otherwise struggle. The disability/struggle/label will cause some parents to become overprotective.
Overprotective parenting likely does not cause autism. However, it could make children less self-reliant, take opportunities away to practice social skills, prevent them from gaining life experience, reduce self-esteem, cause social anxiety and hamper the development of resilience, thereby making autistic symptoms more noticeable or making the transition to adulthood and independence harder.
too true
Parents are more likely to be overprotective of children who have a disability or otherwise struggle. The disability/struggle/label will cause some parents to become overprotective.
Overprotective parenting likely does not cause autism. However, it could make children less self-reliant, take opportunities away to practice social skills, prevent them from gaining life experience, reduce self-esteem, cause social anxiety and hamper the development of resilience, thereby making autistic symptoms more noticeable or making the transition to adulthood and independence harder.
Spot on. I see far to many parents like this. An aspie child who is treated like this seems to turn one of two ways. Self entitled and intentionally exaggerating their disorder because they know they will get whatever they want or more commonly, they turn into an adult who is full of self doubt who missed out on growing up and is afraid to try anything out of their comfort zone which by that time is very small.
No, not at all. I was a very capable kid, and bullying made things tough. They tried to compensate, and they were very supportive of me. Then I got my diagnosis at 23 and things changed. I think they got frustrated with me. I kept trying to assimilate into society and kept having challenges.
I know they care, and I think they would have loved it if I got out there and worked, married, and had kids. I think they would have liked to have been grandparents, like their friends got to be.
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