Did anyone else get anxiety about developing?

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I just wanted to know if anyone else got anxiety about aspects of puberty. When I realised that I'd hit it as a kid I cried the whole day to the point my mum decided to celebrate to help me with the crying. I was mortified and I was an early bloomer too. I still don't like many aspects of the development that came due to puberty such as my chest and I get quite self conscious about my wide hips. Nothing is wrong with my body but I never quite came to peace with developing and am currently trying to lose weight (I am a little overweight) so my body can gain a bit more androgyny. Has anyone else experienced this and did it ever go. It's been years now :/ but I'm not even twenty yet so who knows?

Not really.


Two things that made me anxious during puberty is mostly nonphysical;

Hormonal changes and not understanding the meaning of dysregulation.
In my point of view, losing control and losing faculties just happens and for no apparent reason. In turn it just frustrates the hell out of me.
In turn because of being in an unreliable state believing and being wary towards whatever crap my body was up to -- it turns out it's just the reproductive cycle.

And the ill timed social awareness and changes that only exacerbated whatever was in my head.
This, I got over.



But I've yet to truly understand my cycle, let alone actually accept it.
In a sense, I accepted the facts of autism more than the facts of having a human female body.

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Puberty was very hard for me. I was a early bloomer, entered it at 9 years of age, and I was ahead of everyone in my class. Then in 6th grade, my body changed so I got wider hips and legs and I think my body dysphoria started and I always wanted a small body. It also led to body image issued and eating disorders. I had a fully developed body when I was 12 and fully sized breasts. Now I hate it when anyone pretends middle schoolers and 12 year olds with adult bodies don't exist. I hate how people still infantilize them. Hey when I was in 6th grade, I was taller than my own mother and reached five foot in 4th grade when I was 10 so yes kids can be the size of an adult god damn it.

no, an omnipresent awkward selfconciousness was always there
the trembling of the core, and some bravery of disregarding 'that'
(the stoic/ or sisinlaw-observation; laconic)
i didn't like it, but it wasn't too much of a problem

from early on i was told i was to skinny
that didn't go away, but rumors of drugs got around/ i hung out little at school and more at illfamed places
while the most pb was disappointment by the flipflopping untrustworthy adults
(all your loyalties mean nothing at all to them) and letting the grl go; as in sink or float

broadway - the hard way
exile on main street
meat the combo's, project developpers and gansters,
radikal projects and real scale personal destruction systems,
psychiatry and secret services,

most important "als je haar maar goed zit"
(tr; "as long as your hair's nice")

Personally, I felt anxious / insecure because of a lack of development. I was a late-bloomer in most areas. I used to get teased for it. My hips aren't wide, I have a lanky rectangular body and I'm currently trying to gain weight because I'm underweight at the moment. Further, I'm small-chested which was mainly where the teasing came in. I didn't put much effort into my appearance, because whenever I did I received several insults implying promiscuity in a negative light and I disliked all the attention it caused. Even something as small as straightening or letting my hair down gained me insults because apparently I was showing off. Yet, I got called ugly when I didn't change my appearance, so I couldn't really win as a teenager. They were very much my awkward years.

How I felt about having boobs seemed to vary day by day. Sometimes I was happy about it, other times I felt weirdly conscious about having them. I had a bit of a gender identity crisis but I came to the conclusion that I do identify as being female but don't like being pressured to either be girly or tomboyish. Personally, I feel most comfortable when I can dress feminine or masculine, or both, depending on how I feel that day. Most of the time it's feminine, but there are days where I just have the urge to dress more androgynous.

Yes. I've spent years being unsure of my gender but I'm guessing it might just have been difficulty coping with changes to my body that was the problem rather than it being a "female body". The feeling has got a bit better after having children. I was very stressed out about growing boobs and starting my period though.

Not really. I was a late bloomer so I was quite eager for it. I was quite skinny, so not much boobs, but I enjoyed the freedom anyway. I grew up in a rather egalitarian place and didn't have much gender expectations.

I'm bi and I openly dated girls in high school. Not aware of anyone teasing me. When you're a teen, and feel super about yourself and you're in love, you don't care about what the world think of you.

Nobody ever said anything about my gender identity. The only thing my parents ever said was when I started dating guys in my 20s, mom said "at least it's a boy".

I had bad anxiety over when I'd start getting periods. I knew from the books I received as a kid about puberty that it could happen at any time and I dreaded it and was afraid I'd be caught off-guard, especially if I were out someplace or at school. Luckily it happened at home basically but until then, I was so scared of my first one coming and not knowing it.

From a male perspective - not body changes so much, as being intensely annoyed at the accompanying teenage hormones. Mostly due to having the rug repeatedly pulled out from under my mental processes, which were one of the few things I actually felt I had going in my favor.

Me: *tries to do math or other school subject*
Hormones: HEY LOOK PRETTY GIRL
My brain:

...aaaaand on review that's possibly too far off topic. My apologies if I've derailed discussion.

I’m sorry that you haven’t experienced this time in a positive manner. I had the good fortune to have an Aspie sister who empowered me beyond words at the age of ten, and this made the whole experience a good one. I did feel very feminine, which well might make all the difference, not that I didn’t suffer pain-wise. I certainly did. Enough to at times, walk out of school and curl up in my bed. But, to me, it was a gift, to think I could potentially give life. I loved that womanly feeling of having come of age, so to speak and savoured it, as best I could. You can feel both feminine and alternately masculine at times, and still feel some comfort, that this is part of your circle of life, so to speak.

Yes! I remember when I saw I started forming breasts I told my mom to get rid of them.
When I was that age, I was a Christian and every day I prayed that god make me a boy rather than a woman.
Looking back now, I can say I was being pretty dramatic