How do men do it?

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How do men manage to not cry much?

Sometimes when a guy at work is being yelled at or humiliated, I expect them to get emotional like most women would, but they just carry on their business with no hint of emotion. And I don't think they're just hiding it, I think it must be wired in most men to actually rarely get emotional.
As a woman, no matter how hard I try to fight emotions, they still come pouring out before I can stop them (I'm talking about tears). When I feel tearfulness coming on I do everything in my power to stop the tears, like telling myself I'm OK, focusing on other thoughts, even smiling or trying to laugh to myself, but the tears still start leaking from my eyes and then I'm crying.

I've never seen my boyfriend cry. He says he doesn't remember the last time he cried, but it was a long time ago, but he's nowhere near a psychopath. He actually has more empathy than the average NT male.

So I just don't know how men do it. Also they don't seem to cry when other people are crying. They're just like "what's up?" or sometimes even completely detached. How do guys manage to go through life without getting that overwhelming urge to burst into tears at small things? Sometimes I wish I was a man, so that I can toughen out emotional situations and just take everything with a punch of salt.

If you're always surrounded by the message that crying is an unthinkable display of weakness and utterly unacceptable it will eventually deaden that response.

I remember the last time I cried until I was well into adulthood. I was more bothered by the fact that I cried than that someone I viewed as my best friend beat me up basically out of boredom.

Less mirror neurons. Neurolasticity development that inhibits emotional expression due to social conditioning factors. Selective Empathy. Testosterone. Masculine mindset that reinforces dimorphic attitudes. Faulty tearducts. Mechanical object focused psychology, averse to social interpersonal displays of empathy. Macho pride. Never bow down, never show weakness, NEVER CRY! "big boys Don't cry."

With all that said. It's actually quite easy.

I dunno if it worked or not but I tried leaking during a movie date, I got laid, so there is that.

Last big childhood cry was seventh grade, I switched schools and first day in PE gym class, I somehow ended up fighting another kid. I remember the fight and then we were both standing in front of the coach, the whole class was outside looking thru the big window, it was a river flowing and I was fighting the sobs. No clue what started it, thinking back it could have been a fight shutdown. He also said he didn't know what started the fight.

I cry alone, not a big cry but a couple tears and a sob or two, then I'm good to go.

The only things i can think of that can make me teary are; Bereavements, Tragic movies, Onions and Beethoven symphonies

According to some psychologists, men have significantly lower levels of prolactin (hormone related to emotional tears) as compared to women. There is also the cultural reason, that societal stereotypes discourage men to weep.

Probably a combination.

I am prone to 'hyper-empathy' and if I don't maintain a barrier and control my emotions I become overwhelmed by others strong emotional states. This is why I prefer to interact with emotionally contained people - I dont have to work as hard. I regard this more as relating to my autism than being male.

The worst thing for me is anger - I feel traumatised if I become angry and it takes me a long time to recover. Fortunately it doesnt happen very often. I carefully avoid people who have anger issues whenever I can.

I don't know if there are biological differences between men and women when it comes to crying, but I know there are cultural ones. At least in Western cultures, it's more acceptable for women to cry than men, so men are likelier to put much more effort in to learning how to hold back tears, kinda like women are expected to not show anger and thus many learn to hold it in.

That said, one can learn to not start crying as easily. I cry a lot, maybe, not sure how much average adult cries, but I've learned to control it quite well and can usually keep tears at bay until I'm alone in a suitable enviroment.

I’d rather try to fix things than get all emotional about things.

It’s frustrating when I can’t fix things right away. I guess I need more patience.

I don’t like to obsess about my problems; this tends to make them worse.

I don’t like to cry in front of people.

The female crying, males not crying thing is probably societal, mostly.

I get the urge to cry, but more times than not the tears don't flow.

I'm a woman and I don't cry easily. I went years without shedding a tear just like most men. For some reason in the past few months I've been crying quite easily. It's nice to have that outlet again.

Social expectations around men in general. And are not socially trained to read onto things that women generally do or have to do.


Add some biological differences -- from neurology to hormonal interactions to appearances.

Easier to regulate, easier to regulate reactions and behaviors, easier to master and easier to be consistent with it.


This doesn't mean men had it easier.



In my own case I only cry if I really cared enough, if I opened that damn gap a little...

Or else would not be easy to.

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The only thing that makes me cry is music