I Was Bullied by a Would Be Later Professor

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I remember an incident when I was homeless (roughly 7 years, technically). I was at a punk show sitting on the side walk.
An older female (mid thirties) member of the scene that identified with Feminism was standing almost ominously over me next to a younger male member of the scene. I was sitting next to a different guy that I found out later was on a pretty bad dope habit and eventually went to jail. My "friends" that knew him have a tendency not to inform people of key details such as this, and others pertaining to illegal activities of any kind. I had no idea. He just sat there very quietly.

I remember being totally lost as the woman and the guy were talking to each other so close to me. I reached up and tugged at the bottom of her shorts in an attempt to better understand and make an attempt to participate in the conversation. She looked down and in a really harsh tone of voice said, "I hate that s**t", and engaged the guy she was talking to in a short rant about how annoying I was being. I've never been able to initiate a conversation with that woman without being insulted, belittled, ignored, or otherwise disrespected. I contend that this attitude of hers counts as a form of adult social bullying.

She later received her Masters from VCU and now teaches as an adjunct professor in the Women's Studies Department.

I wonder if she knew my buddy was on heroin and thought that I was. I might have seemed like it at the time. I take on characteristics of others' behaviour extremely well, have a hard time being original unless I'm doing it to get attention, and always use the same "cool" words over and over again to the point of burnout.

She should not have acted that way on the basis of whether or not she believed you had a very serious health problem, such as drug addiction. That (in addition) she was in likelihood making unfounded assumptions based on narrow minded stereotypes is hardly a beneficial personality tendency for an academic (in terms of their work).

she didn't deserve your attention. i pity people like her, regardless of what they have achieved. i have achieved something in my professional life and i still believe that having a good heart is most valueable thing one can have. i wouldn't be happy being successful and a jerk at the same time.

Maybe she's just a b***h? Some people only want to chat with "popular" types for some reason. I had a gym teacher who was like that. She acknowledged that she was a b***h, too. I must say, though, that she was much nicer than her mother, so I guess bitchiness is relative.

I'm confused by the scene you described. Is this a situation where anyone can join in any conversation? Or were they having a private conversation practically in your lap? (Perhaps due to space considerations?)

I've never been very good at that sort of thing, but I read a rule somewhere where if two people are talking, it may be a private conversation, so be careful about listening or joining in, but if there are three or more it's probably ok for a total stranger to join in. I've been in situations too where there were three of us chatting and we were all strangers but we all assumed the other two knew each other. Eventually we introduced ourselves. I can't remember who went first.

As far as whether you were on drugs or not, if she wanted drug free, then perhaps a tea room somewhere?

It's a big alcohol scene. I had already met her and the guy she was talking to, but I'm sure that I missed some social cues to have conversations with her at some point, and she probably got offended, but didn't try to approach me to ever talk to me civilly, and waited for an opportunity to teach me a real lesson.
I've observed the way so many people have close social interaction, but I've never been as good as it as they are. She was/is into Peace Punk, Crust Punk, and Anarchist related music and theory. I was 20 at the time, she was at least 30. She has a lot of influence on that peer group, and all of them just about totally ignore me, but I'm not a social alcoholic, nor do I consistently fit in with the way they dress.
She used to let minors drink at her apartment. I've never been accepted by her and her peers, whom are mostly closer to my age. She's sort of like the old matriarch in the punk scene. She was the oldest female that spent any time at length with any of the younger people, but now Greta Brinkman lives here again (she was in the scene back in the eighties as a musician and moved on to play bass for Moby on tour). Greta is the only successful female musician that was born of talent created in the Richmond scene (she was into Hardcore and was/is less political). Greta now spends time at local metal shows that I sometimes attend, when I can stand to be around that many dudes.

Pat Benatar was in a slightly higher socio-economic class and didn't really root in the DIY punk scene here, and so she doesn't count as a punk even though all the punks here really like her music.

Another successful Richmond lady punk scenester is Xeni Jardin, who cofounded and writes for the popular tech blog, Boing Boing

The interesting thing is that lots of people bully individuals with AS, and go on to be successful in areas where that type of attitude should not be tolerated. I used to pine over the unfair advantage people had over me because I was homeless and I had health problems. I started out as a bright and gifted adolescent with a bright future. Clearly, I had an advantage then. I can only remember one time in my life that I ever cut someone off from myself, and refused to be friends with them. I think that I might have been trying to make a joke, but I didn't really understand, or know how to. I never really had before. I was about 13 when I upset that girl. She started a popularity war against me that lasted into high school. I changed school systems after a few years. I'm really not the dramatic type, but I've been messed with a lot, and I don't like to take it.

I dont know dude. If I was a girl and some guy sitting on the footpath tugged on my shorts, I might not be happy. She might have thought you were ebing sleazy. You don't have to have asperger's syndrome to misinterpret people's intentions

I just sort of pulled at the bottom of them to get her attention. I didn't try to pull them off her or anything like that. I don't think me doing that was sleezy at all. I wasn't going to make a move on her. I was sitting on the ground and she was standing right over me. The dude she was talking to is way more sleezy than me. Now, that you mention it, I can see exactly what her and her friends think of me though, even if they don't make any sense.

Well, point being, I routinely analyse my situation in the community that I had contact with while I was homeless in Richmond. By the way, being called, "dude" isn't something that I'm fond of in the slightest, for future reference to anyone out there. There's not really much else I can say right now. Really, I was treated unfairly for so many years here, and I can't even describe it simply. It's just a shame.

I've always had a roof over my head but I did grow up in abject poverty. Some people just "hate". They hate your race, your religion, your socio-economic condition, your accent, your clothing, the neighborhood you're from, ....1,000 different things....your neediness, your independence, your wealth, etc... They always find a reason to hate. Sometimes they hate you if you "intimidate" them just a little bit (because they actually find you attractive) and they will go to any length to keep you down lest you rise up above them...and take their man. Miss Masters Degree didn't want any female competition in her conversation with that guy. Also, it is possible that when that consumate b***h said "I hate this s**t." She probably thought you were going to beg her for a couple of bucks...or she can't stand the feeling of her clothing being tugged. I hate that too. Bitchy just might have some "sensitivity to touch" issues...and never learned that "if you can't stand something stay away from situations that put you in situations"...like crowded places. But most importantly, you can easily get a very bad reputation even if you just talk to or sit near someone that is seen as a socially undesirable...junkies, thieves, dope-pushers, prostitutes, career criminals, the list goes on. Ten years ago, I would've told you to pee in her coffee but now I know better. Pray for her and especially pray for you. Ask God to give you strength to cope with difficult people. She will have to apologize to God for the nasty way she treated a child of God...that's you. What ever titles or degrees she holds, she is still subject to the judgement of God. You say you take on characteristics of others...take on those who are sober, sane, decent, just, intelligent, loving and giving. See if there is a place where you can get social skills training, hopefully for free. Read as much as you can from the free library...books by Jerry Newport. There is a book list on this very site. Borrow some from the library...if you want. It certainly can't hurt you. This world in general is lacking in compassion.
Turn your pain over to the compassionate Christ. But you'll still have to deal with people for the rest of your life. Don't find fault "in yourself" because people are just selfish, competitive, and cruel. Always remember that people make a conscious decision to be "cruel". There is always an alternative. Jesus said, "He who is among you without sin should be the first to cast the stone." "Before you say there is a splinter in your brother's eye, take out the plank from your own eye." There is a radio program called "Family Radio", also there is FamilyRadio.com for listings of stations in your area. Twice a day, Family radio aires a program called "Walk with the King" by the late Dr. Bob Cook. If you can listen to it, it might clear up some difficulties.
There are parenting programs on this station as well as relationship advice as well. It's generally a good station but take what you need from it and leave the rest. So, what do ya say, "Dudinia" or shall I say "Dudeinetta" ? There a nice little message for you in the thread called "What is your theme song?" It's in random discussion.