Why do people hate teenage girls?

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I’m honest here! People hate teenage girls.
If they like makeup, shopping, boy bands, dolls, tea sets, pink, fashion, then they’re considered dumb, shallow and horrible. Also a vsco girl or a prep.
If they like sport, skateboarding, cars, baggy clothes, climbing trees, then they’re considered impolite, violent, mean and must be like other girls. Or maybe they’re a greaser.
If they like something “nerdy” (such as anime, music, cartoons, comics, board games, video games, furry fandom, technology) then they’re considered weird and a fake nerd. Also they must be a shy bookworm.
If they’re (I dunno) a goth, an emo a scenester, a punk ,an e girl, grunge, a softie, then they considered to be either sl#ts, weirdos, or violent idiots. I don’t get it!
As someone who definitely is a nerd and an alt kid, i despise these stereotypes because I am a girl who likes different things! I don’t wanna be judged for that. Can anyone tell me why?

Last edited by SandyLife223 on 08 May 2023, 8:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

I was this kind of girl when I was a teenager, and people called me immature. When I was 15 I wanted to build a den with my 12-year-old cousin (she was more or less the only friend I had back then), but my mum gave me a lecture saying that I should feel embarrassed building dens at my age and that teenage girls don't do that. So I said that my brother built dens when he was 15 but my mum said that he's a boy so it was more acceptable.
That's when I wished hard that I was a boy. I think that once a girl grows breasts she suddenly looks silly if she's doing anything adventurous like climbing trees, building dens, or even hiking or riding a bike.

I was glad when my cousin became a teenager because she wasn't allowed to be the tomboy she used to be either. She's NT though but still liked the same adventurous and boyish things I liked.

I’m a teen girl and if I’m being honest here I think a lot of it comes internally, as a teen girl’s worst enemy is another teen girl. Everyone’s judging each other and making such defined labels, to me, is some sort of protection against judgement. (For example, if someone makes fun of you for being who you are, you know you have your label as “x” to help you) If a community itself can’t accept themselves then people on the outside are going to make fun of you. Teen boys do not really have this problem as boys tend to not care as much about their appearances and labels.

This behavior goes away as people (girls mostly) leave the contained environment of a high school and see that real people in the world are all very different from one another and no one really cares about what you call yourself.

People always gotta s**t on what's "abnormal", it makes them feel better about themselves. Also misogyny plays a part I'm sure.

I've always been a misfit and proud of it tbh.

But some of the tropes in OP's example come off like extreme examples of normal. Like, often there might even be an expectation that people fitting those tropes would be in different cliques and not get along as a result.

Although I think OP might be reading things a little too harshly or at least too broadly. Negative stereotypes exist of pretty much any group, but sometimes they're only really held by a pretty narrow demographic. Adults for the most part don't concern themselves with teenagers, outside of maybe dismissing their concerns and interests as immature or trivial. I don't think there's much hate from older people towards teenagers, regardless of gender; often a fair bit of not getting it though.

In some ways it seems like OP is talking about hate that different subsets of teenagers might have towards various subsets of teenage girls. Like, basically high school tropes. A lot of social barriers between people who fit those tropes break down after high school, whether it's in college or in the work force.

I agree with you though, people s**t on what's different to feel better about themselves and the identity they choose to project. People at that age seem especially insecure about their identities, but also maybe less familiar with how everyone has unique interests regardless of how they choose to dress or the handful they share openly.

But as a whole, whatever contempt society might demonstrate towards teenage girls is the intersection of our mindset towards children and misogyny (including internalized misogyny) rather than something more specific towards them as a group, or a specific subset of them as a group.

That's way more words than I planned on writing.

Yeah, I think that's it. Most of us look back on ourselves at 14 and cringe hard, so we tend to think that young teens are all cringe.

And often those of us who never outgrew those "cringe" interests get picked on as adults. I was basically a hardcore furry at age 14 w/o even realizing it, without knowing that fandom existed. Now I'm grown up, explicitly part of the furry fandom, and get a lot of hate for it from teens and adults alike. But I've always been different so I dgaf.

I "cringe" at some rather nasty, a**holey things I said and did back then, but nothing else. I had every right to have my oddball interests.

Yikes! I am appalled at your parents' attitude on this matter.

How many decades ago was this???

Based on what you've said about how old you are, this couldn't have happened any longer ago than the early 2000's or so?

Even way back in the 1970's, I as a teenager was not subjected to that degree of gender-conformist pressures, at least not from my parents -- even though my parents were rather on the conservative religious side.

Have gender-conformist pressures on kids and teenagers actually gotten even worse since I grew up???

Did your parents have the excuse of belonging to some fundamentalist sect, or were their attitudes just the mainstream cultural norm in the area where you and they lived at that time?


There is nothing "silly" or otherwise wrong with a teenage girl wanting to do any of those things! None of those things are harmful!

Lara Croft was known for two things, large adventures and tits.
I don't think Tomb Raider is typically thought of as silly.

I hike and climb trees all the time. If people think I look silly, that’s their problem. It would be impossible for me to care less. People have all sorts of dumb opinions. It’s a good idea not to worry about them.

Why let what others might potentially think spoil your fun?

NT social pecking order being established. And let the peasants fight amongst themselves.

Life has improved for me every decade since my tweens. I still face too much misogyny (in tech, in the Midwest US), but there are enough respectful people around that it's doable.

What's that song quote? "Hater gonna hate"

In my experience teenagers hate themselves first and foremost, then project that onto everyone around them.

I like teen girls who are gentle, polite and hardworking. Can't complain about nice people. I've met plenty of wonderful teenagers. Generally speaking though, most teen girls are nice, it's only when they gather in number then they become intolerable.

The mob mentality can be a problem with any and all genders.