Trying to figure it all out

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So I’ve been doing a life review and looking over my childhood, I had so many traits of both autism and add/adhd.

Both run in my family, so I’m familiar with both, but I’m more used to the type of ASD that is so severe as to preclude holding down a job.

I never rose to the level of getting a diagnosis. I was a child in the 70s, so diagnostic criteria for both were *way* different. I’m married, have a career, and children. I’m even blessed with friends and people generally like me. But I often feel disconnected, or I’m scared I’m “bothering” people if I text them, etc.

But my life has spun out of control in a couple different domains, which is why I started the life review and basically am writing my own autobiography to figure out “where it all went wrong”.

Since coming to the realization I might have ASD/ADD/ADHD, I’ve felt All The Emotions— relief, sorrow, fear, frustration. I also got insomnia, but that might be coincidental wit other things, and I’m up half the night for the last week and a half.

An book recommendations?

The usual approach is to get a diagnosis first, but for older women, this is rarely practical unless you have a kid who is diagnosed at the same time.

What may be practical is to identify sources of stress, and see what you can do to reduce or eliminate them.
Perhaps the biggest stress issue is masking. Hiding behaviors in an attempt to look normal. This is comes at great cost.

Lots of us don't like loud noises. I bought high fidelity earplugs to wear at movie theaters.
Now I can enjoy loud movies by wearing earplugs!

I'd read something here and realize I have that too!

Embrace-autism is a decent site, it has a lot of self report tests you can take and some general informative stuff.

Also Neurodivergent Insights seems a helpful site that was part of my discovery journey.

Books, uh, my diagnosing Dr had a long list of books for me. But I have yet to read them.
One that stands out on the list as possibly being helpful for you is Kim, Cynthia (2013). I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults

Thank you for your replies . This is a good starting place.

Yeah, I realize self-diagnosis has its pitfalls. I simply don’t have $1000 lying around to spend on an official diagnosis Especially because a label won’t really change anything for me, besides giving me insight.

Don’t get me wrong. Insight is important, and shed light on some things I never understood before.

I hope I don’t sound too blunt, I just haven’t slept decently in over a week so Im getting a little goofy behind it all

Hi and welcome!


Two of my faves:

Sarah Hendrickx - Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age


Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism (edited by Barb Cook and Dr Michelle Garnett, 2018)


Also:


Jeannie Davide-Rivera - Twirling Naked in the Street and No One Noticed: Growing Up with Undiagnosed Autism

Emma Goodall and Yenn Purkis - Women on the Spectrum: A Handbook for Life

Lisa Morgan and Mary Donahue - Living with PTSD on the Autism Spectrum: Insightful Analysis with Practical Applications




... these websites:

https://www.spectrumwomen.com/

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-a ... checklist/




... these articles:

"I Thought I Was Lazy: The Invisible Struggle for Autistic Women":
https://theestablishment.co/i-thought-i ... Z2Z8_OY3lQ

"An Autistic Burnout":
https://theautisticadvocate.com/2018/05 ... c-burnout/

"Autistic Burnout: The Cost of Masking and Passing":
https://boren.blog/2017/01/26/autistic- ... d-passing/

"At the Intersection of Autism and Trauma":
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/d ... sm-trauma/

"Autism is seen as a male thing, but girls just implode emotionally":
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2 ... arm-school

"Sensory Integration in Autism Spectrum Disorders":
https://www.autism.org/sensory-integration/

"Mental Health and Autism: Why Acceptance Matters":
http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2018 ... tance.html

"My life as one of the many belatedly-diagnosed autistic older people":
https://autisticnyc.wordpress.com/2019/ ... mple-post/
By our very own Mona Pereth, member of WP ^



... and these videos:




YouTube:



Savannah Brown for the win: She kills it -





My World Autistic -





Stephanie Bethany -




Agony Autie -




Jac Den Houting -

[/quote]

Thanks

This link has a video and a link to download a PDF copy of the Adult Autism Assessment Handbook:

https://monotropism.org/2023/taaah/

I am a "successful" 50-year-old Corporate professional and mother of two. I discovered my Autistic self at age 47. Welcome to WP.

Other books I've read:
Autism in Heels by Jennifer O'Toole
Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim
Odd Girl Out by Laura James
Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome by Philip Wylie
What to Say Next by Sarah and Larry Nannery (was actually a little boring for me b/c BTDT, but enlightening b/c BTDT it was eye opening for my ASD BFF)

Books on my reading list:
Strong Female Character by Fern Brady
I Don’t Look Autistic, PDA Paradox by Terry Thomson
The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
But You Don't Look Autistic at All by Bianca Toeps
Camouflage: The Hidden Lives of Autistic Women by Dr. Sarah Bargiela

These are worth skimming through but some advice is out of date already given more recent "double blind" theories, etc. I really liked the dating sections, but my ASD BFF and I did just that: found the difference.
Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone
22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know by Rudy Simone