Low executive function, how do you keep an ok house?

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Anonyma
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26 May 2023, 3:31 pm

As the title says. I have quite the low executive function. I try my best, but i keep postponing all sorts of housework. As a mother i feel it’s important to keep the house clean for my little one and i feel bad every day for not cleaning more often. I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I do the mist important things like dishes and washing clothes. But the floors could need a wash done by me instead of by the robot vakuum once in a while and the bathrooms.. well, i wont even go down that path.

Anyone have any smart tips or routines to get past the low executive funtion?



Winters Gate
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26 May 2023, 5:48 pm

I have trouble with that as.well.

What.my roomate.and I did.was.split up.the chores.based on our strengths. I used.to work.in restaurants so I keep.the kitchen clean and organized for example.

I also.got an app on my phone for tracking my chores. If that fails.I have a physical.list.

Also I try to have certain days of.the week.I do certain chores. So in my mind the day is associated with doing those activities.



SharonB
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29 May 2023, 9:07 pm

My household knows that I can take care of the children, work or clean the house: pick 2. I am the primary income earner and I choose children next. My partner does most household chores. I got a lot of slack for a messy house from gender-biased relatives (all of them). Much to my amusement (and frustration), I refer my MIL to her son (my husband) when she expresses a concern about it. Recently I requested my husband take on childcare responsibilities which means I have space to do some household things (decluttering). A weekly "parallel sort (or cleaning)" with a relative (friend, free online executive function support) works well for me. Mostly I need the space --- reduce demands elsewhere.



IsabellaLinton
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29 May 2023, 9:22 pm

I have a big house, no spouse, 2-3 people working here full-time (work from home), and four pets.

I'm low functioning ASD and I've had two strokes. I also have crippling ADHD and a ton of sensory issues that make me not want to touch anything. I can't even leave my pitch-black basement during the daytime because of daylight. At night I can't clean because it requires electric lighting which I can't tolerate either.

My best bets are on dark cloudy days around dusk, with tinted glasses.

I just go-for-broke and do what I can. No list, no pressure, no guilt or shame.

I've had a folder of papers in a broken accordion file, sitting on my floor for about two months now.

If I made a list of what to do I'd get overwhelmed and never do anything.
I'm better to just do things as I see them, if I can.

The only thing I do pretty much daily is load and unload the dishwasher.


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SharonB
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30 May 2023, 8:14 am

Likewise my most likely ability is to unload the dishwasher. My BFF visits weekly and I usually can vacuum the living room in advance. I know life "is good" (low demand) when I can do more. I got myself in a pickle earlier this month when I did a whole bunch of cleaning and then discovered I had childcare most of the day --- despite my best efforts (work in progress) I had a meltdown. If I had known the upcoming demand, I would have cut back on the cleaning some to conserve sufficient energy for parenting. My ASD mother had a clean house - she was a crappy parent. Come to think of it, so was my MIL (possibly Autistic). Sad that many folks put cleanliness above the mental health of themselves and their children. I have friends who clean house and care for their children well, but either they don't work and/or they don't have Autism (maybe "only" ADHD). I will continue to aspire to clean more, but it is prioritized behind parenting and work. So when the kids leave the house, will I find another priority or finally get to the cleaning? :wink:



Cafeaulait
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30 May 2023, 2:53 pm

I break tasks down into smaller parts and that works. And I mean really small parts. I also have my checkpoints around the house. For example if I need to carry clothes upstairs I will first put them on the stairs, then when I actually need to go up I take them along with me to the next checkpoint. I also lay my clothes to dry on the floor because I can't get myself to hang them. For things that I really, really, really need to get done I set reminders.



notSpock
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03 Jul 2023, 9:02 pm

If it's permissible to post here, I'm a man and I have similar issues too. My wife has a hard time walking and doing a lot of physical things, so I do the majority of our household tasks. Or at least, I intend to. Usually I get as far as making the food and bringing it to her, but I'm really bad at keeping things clean and organized. Sometimes I get distracted and she even has to remind me to make food. (Back when I lived alone, I often ate only one meal a day.)



IsabellaLinton
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03 Jul 2023, 9:10 pm

I had the brilliant idea / sarc :twisted: of adding two kittens to my life so now I have six pets in the house.

It's actually kind of helped because I'm forced to clean up after them. I have no choice. It keeps me busy.


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colliegrace
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03 Jul 2023, 11:15 pm

I don't :)


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ThePerpetualLoner
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06 Sep 2023, 1:53 am

Routine for me.

I am obsessive with timing and planning.

So every morning I allocate one hour when i am feeling my most productive. I find just doing a bit each day around the same time got me into a habit. Even on the days I cant manage, at that time i would wipe a unit or something negligable just to get into habit.

Doing a bit or a specific job each day keeps ontop of it. So it looks acceptable until the day I can actually do a blitz.

You say you can manage dishes..thats the main mess inducer in my house haha. For floors I got a speed mop. Takes 3 mins with that thing so much easier then when I had a mop and bucket. I also did save up and invest in a decent hoover, saves so much time.



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06 Sep 2023, 2:32 am

uhmm....can be borderline helpless at housework but having a disabled left side...i do what I can, when I can, and try hard not to stress on it . Can Perseverate on things and can do some stuff.. but must be absolutely engaged.
but use air hepa filters to keep control of air.And a humidifier if air gets too dry. Paper bowls , and plastic Solo cups
get me extra mileage on taking care if stuff . Even dealing with getting the trash out on time can be daunting ,if i do not work myself up to it from the day before. Prefer dark rooms . But will go out, with noise cancelling earbuds and Sun glasses...provided timing is good. Used to be stores were open at night ,that worked well for me still needed dark glasses .Biorythms,seem to be very hard to keep them correct for day night cycle. :nerdy:


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