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whatamess
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10 Oct 2007, 11:02 pm

Or is it not because he's NT, he just drives me up a wall?

There has only been one person in my life that understood me fully and that we saw eye to eye.
My husband is a great person, but he's NT...and I don't know if that's why he drives me nuts (forgets everything, is not detailed, etc...) or if it's not anything at all with being NT, but just a man thing...hmmm...



Age1600
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10 Oct 2007, 11:28 pm

Yes I know what your going through, my NT boyfriend is driving me bonkers too! Especially with the forgetting things, like hello, then you get mad at us for repeating it a hundred times, so next time don't forget hahah. I just had a long convo with the NT(haha I make it out to sound like hes from a different planet all together haha) We're going to try work it out, luckily hes got amazing patience, and is amazing boyfriend, all he needs to do, is understand me and my autism and everything will be better... So I don't know if its just men, or NT men, hmmm, thats a good question haha? We need some replies from some AS guys heh... :lol:


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girl7000
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11 Oct 2007, 4:42 am

My NT bf can drive me up the wall too. Although, he is good at learning which things are most stressful tome, and changing his ways accordingly.

I do get very frustrated by his lack of organisation and pro-activeness at times, but I am learning to accept that this is just his 'way'.

I guess the only major thing (from an NT point of view) is that I don't think he and I could live together. I think he would like to, but I just couldn't cope with having someone around ALL THE TIME. Alone time is essential for me, and just going in another room isn't enough (because I can still hear their TV or phone conversation, and they can also just walk in whenever they want...).

But he seems to understand that.



zghost
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01 Nov 2007, 9:10 pm

My exhusband was an ass. If I forgot to pick him up something he asked for I "didn't care about him". Many other examples, but it would be too long a story. It got so bad at times I would actually really wish the cops would just shoot him. (Part of the long story.)

My current husband is wonderful. He's extremely patient. He's so good to me I'm still having trouble believing it, and we've been married 4 years.

I think a lot of it depends on the person. Anybody can live with anybody, just not necessarily happily. And avoiding the "I'm a freak and nobody will want me" syndrome.



KimJ
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01 Nov 2007, 9:21 pm

I could never really get along with NTs boyfriends. Either they were too dumb and I dumped them or they were too concerned about emotions and dumped me.
I had one NT fiance who was really nice but we argued too much-ironically, I was obsessed over his emotions and jealous of his musical interests. He was genius and driven like an autistic but still NT.



Folie
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01 Nov 2007, 11:35 pm

It's the same way with me and my boyfriend! For example, we went to GenCon with some friends this summer. Whenever he would propose an event to go to together, I would generally try to check the time and estimate how long it would take us to the event from wherever we happened to be. When I thought it was time for us to go, I'd say so, and he'd start to lead the way, but pretty soon it would become obvious that he wasn't sure where he was going. He has a very poor sense of direction, but come on - you'd think he'd at least put some effort into figuring out where something that interested him was! :x

At least, that's what I would try to do, once I realized that he was going about it so half-assedly. I'd start heading for the nearest map, consulting the schedule, etc., and to be honest, I'd actually get pretty agitated. Before too long, he started getting alarmed at my agitation. Unlike me, he didn't feel the need to be on time for these events: he liked just wandering around the convention center. Well, I don't enjoy walking around "just for fun" - I'd rather have some kind of purpose for walking, no matter how trivial. I told his mom about this, and she actually seemed somewhat pleased. I heard her talking on the phone with him about it later, and she pretty much said that his cavalier attitude was a good thing because it illustrated his (and her) Greek heritage. :roll:



TheWonk
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09 Nov 2007, 5:32 pm

My ex is NT. He has chronic pain, whereas I am extremely healthy. So we were a bad match. He didn't really "get" me and I couldn't truly understand his physical condition, which worsened throughout the 10 year marriage.

We have been apart for 7 years, and he now has an NT girlfriend who has fibromyalgia. My boyfriend, while not a textbook Aspie, certainly has nerdish traits, so I feel like we "get" each other better. He is also healthy, for the most part, except for pet allergies.

The funny thing is that my daughter is NT; not only that but near the top of the social heirarchy in her 7th grade class. It's a fascinating thing to watch.